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Dismal Pillock

Simon Poidevin (60)
Jimmy said the snake had slithered into his car through the gear stick before wrapping around his legs.
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Dismal Pillock

Simon Poidevin (60)
Through the gearstick means something else in my game...

Starting to think you could say this about everything in the world in your game

"Deadly snake means something else in my game.....
"Snakeskin belt means something else in my game.....
"123 in a 100 zone means something else in my game.....
"Tradie Jimmy means something else in my game.....
"Waiopehu Oldboy means something else in my game.....
 

cyclopath

George Smith (75)
Staff member
Starting to think you could say this about everything in the world in your game

"Deadly snake means something else in my game...
"Snakeskin belt means something else in my game...
"123 in a 100 zone means something else in my game...
"Tradie Jimmy means something else in my game...
"Waiopehu Oldboy means something else in my game...
Oh, you know it's true!
 

Dismal Pillock

Simon Poidevin (60)
Nikon Japan "Coming Close" To First-Ever First Lady Upskirt Panty Shot

--Japan Times--

Japanese Nikon technicians are currently working long into the night to "reverse engineer" reflections from a shovel wielded by Melania Trump in the hopes of yielding a groundbreaking first-ever First Lady upskirt panty shot.

9IGidPA.png


"We are so close" said lead technician Dr H.Entai. "There are however certain angles that are proving uncooperative due to the unbending laws of physics related to space and time. We have already tried numerous relays to our space station in the hopes of refracting the light of time itself but so far no luck. The boys are ploughing on though and are all quietly rock-hard at the prospect of some sweet, sweet First Lady grud shots. Even just some upper thigh shots would see the dark room go off like the NASA control room in 1969.

An artists simulation of the Nikon Camera Division once the lads obtain the elusive first-ever First Lady panty shot:

Apollo-11-mission-control-0790dc6.jpg
 

cyclopath

George Smith (75)
Staff member
Nikon Japan "Coming Close" To First-Ever First Lady Upskirt Panty Shot

--Japan Times--

Japanese Nikon technicians are currently working long into the night to "reverse engineer" reflections from a shovel wielded by Melania Trump in the hopes of yielding a groundbreaking first-ever First Lady upskirt panty shot.

9IGidPA.png


"We are so close" said lead technician Dr H.Entai. "There are however certain angles that are proving uncooperative due to the unbending laws of physics related to space and time. We have already tried numerous relays to our space station in the hopes of refracting the light of time itself but so far no luck. The boys are ploughing on though and are all quietly rock-hard at the prospect of some sweet, sweet First Lady grud shots. Even just some upper thigh shots would see the dark room go off like the NASA control room in 1969.

An artists simulation of the Nikon Camera Division once the lads obtain the elusive first-ever First Lady panty shot:

Apollo-11-mission-control-0790dc6.jpg
"One small chubby for man, one giant wang for mankind."
 

Dismal Pillock

Simon Poidevin (60)
All Blacks Bid Farewell To Dear Friend

--NZ Herald--

A ceremony to scatter the ashes of All Black prop Ofa Tuingafasi's mullet under the goalposts of Eden Park will be held prior to this weekends All Black rugby test match against Australia.

"This is a solemn moment for everyone involved" said All Blacks interim bus driver Fat Guts Fozzie. "Ofa's Reverse Starburst Mangere Mullet has almost become part of our family. We will all miss it dearly. But, frankly, it had become so stupid looking that it just had to go. We're not the Bar-Kays going through their late 80's peroxide addiction and berko mullet phase you know."


ofa.png

Ofa bows his head as he bids solemn
farewell to his beloved and berko
Reverse Starburst Mangere Mullet.


ofa.png

Hi-definition ultra-white imagery
cameras capture the actual moment
the bonkers Reverse Starburst Mangere
Mullet visibly leaves Ofa's head.
 

Dismal Pillock

Simon Poidevin (60)
Justice Aunt Lydia sworn in as US Supreme Court Justice.

--USA Today--
auntl2.jpg

"Who fucken farted? WHO?
--Justice Aunt Lydia.

Justice Aunt Lydia has today been sworn in as a US Supreme Court Justice at the White House.

Her acceptance speech read as follows;

"I solemnly swear to show all bitches, hos and skanks the way to vag salvation. The vag is blessed and the cock is holy. This is enshrined in our Gilead constitution. Therefore, let my first act as Supreme Court Justice be to welcome a rando gaggle of preggers handmaids to the White House as I, and I alone, bless their rapespawn loinfruit as we forge ahead to the holiest of holy days, yes, vagsplosion spout day. Blessed be the Gash, Holy be the Fuck. Thank you, my children, thank you."

Upon her confirmation, Justice Aunt Lydia immediately repaired to the White House catacombs to begin checking the pregger bumps of the motley gaggle of sluts, hos, charlatans, skanks and women of questionable matrimonial feasance.

auntl1.jpeg

"What the fuck bish. You're not even pregnant you stupid slag. You're just constipated. Are you sure you weren't just boofed up the shitter?"
 

Dismal Pillock

Simon Poidevin (60)
Local Woman Attempts To Hypnotise G7 World Leaders

--Times--

A deranged local woman has today reportedly attempted to use
black magic to hypnotise G7 world leaders into liking her father.

ivanka.png

"Donnie is number onnnnnnnnnneeeeeeee..."

The woman had diplomatic credentials to gain access to the meeting but was pointedly ignored by everyone in attendance.

ivanka.png

"She's still standing right next to me isn't she..."

Eventually the woman left of her own accord and was last sighted talking to people at a bus stop outside the G7 convention centre. These people also appeared to be completely ignoring her.

ivanka.png

"I see..... I see a bus in my future"
 
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