Ok, so I went in on a Friday arvo, drove myself as they said i'd be able to drive home ok.
The shaving experience, I must say, the night before was ..... interesting. Went through a HELL of a lot of shaving cream.
Anyway, back to the procedure. I must say it was a little off-putting laying on a table in a little suburban doctor's theatre, with my prickly junk out as a couple of middle age nurses talked about what their children were up to that weekend. Nothing like how I imagined. The fact it was one of the nurses first time was somewhat offputting. She was knowledgeable enough to ask to the other nurse that "after the needle, the doctor will want to wait 10 or 15 minutes won't he?" To which the reply was "No, Dr Beaver likes to get going straight away".
HANG ON! DON'T I GET A SAY IN THIS? LET'S NOT RUSH THIS THING!
Anyway, so Dr Beaver comes in and gets started straight away. He's a Reds fans, knows I work for the QRU and is very chatty. I am a little less chatty as, surprise surprise, the needle really hasn't taken effect just yet. But he continues, and the first side is relatively straight forward. He's still chatting away and moves to the 2nd side. Chatting, chatting, chatting...commenting..... murmuring....silent.....I'll let the experts talk of the procedure, but basically he couldn't get a could grip on my vas deferens and it kept slipping out, preventing him from sealing it, or whatever. He had to making additional incisions to get to other areas. Meanwhile, I'm sweating up a storm and every tug I'm feeling all the way up my gut.
Eventually he finishes and he informs me "now I'm not entirely sure that 2nd one was the vas deferens, so I've taken a sample and will send it away for testing"!
ok.....
So I drive my shitty little manual car home, cringing every time I change gears. I get home, parking horribly, crawl up to bed and collapse calling for the first lot of frozen peas. The swelling actually stayed for quite a while, particularly on the 2nd side. Then it went down again, and then came back worse than before. I was packing a cricket ball down there, it shape, colour and feel.
Move forward 3 months later, and the required 12 (or so) 'releases', I provided another sample (which is a story all in itself) and have just found out that the results are inconclusive. Need to provide another sample in a month, after a few more 'releases'.
Look, I know this is a lot of TMI, but hey, it's a vasectomy thread. What do you expect?