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All-Time Crim 1st XV

Dismal Pillock

Simon Poidevin (60)
Mafi back in business for the Sunwolves. I cannot believe they resigned him. Usually Japan comes down like a bag of hammered shit on anything even remotely crim like.

Plus it sounds like they want to postpone his trial til AFTER the RWC.

Aha, so that's why they resigned him.
 

Rugbynutter39

Michael Lynagh (62)
Mafi back in business for the Sunwolves. I cannot believe they resigned him. Usually Japan comes down like a bag of hammered shit on anything even remotely crim like.

Plus it sounds like they want to postpone his trial til AFTER the RWC.

Aha, so that's why they resigned him.
Well my thoughts are this is due to either:
  1. Maybe they were worried as they hears about alternative all time crim leagues signing up players on G&GR....
  2. We have set the bar too low for all time crim Xv - kidnapping, rape etc maybe not enough - murder or mass murder perhaps has to be minimum entry criteria
  3. mafi really is a saint and goes to Sunday school every week and butter would not melt in his mouth
 

Dismal Pillock

Simon Poidevin (60)
We have set the bar too low for all time crim Xv - kidnapping, rape etc maybe not enough - murder or mass murder perhaps has to be minimum entry criteria
The forward pack is close to All Murder, All The Time.
1 Parmeet Dabas: murdered 3
2 Henry Tromp: killing a farm worker
3 Bees Roux: cop killer
4 Rudi Virage: shot and killed his 19 yo daughter.
5 Michael Quinn ©. Melbourne Chargers. Kiddie fucker. He won’t even survive the first ruck.
6 Pita Wilson: kidnapping and assault
7 Joseph Ntshongwana: killed 3 with an axe
8 Marc Cecillon: performing the eternal willie-away on own wife
The selectors now need to look at whether Mafi can play on the blindside flank. It's his only shot at cracking the starting lineup. He just needs some I mean a conviction for his kidnapping and assault and ability wise, he would should have it over Wilson. We're all cheering for you Mafi, you dumbo-brained dipshit!
 

Dismal Pillock

Simon Poidevin (60)
oh yeah, a welcome addition.
Selectors:
Aunty Doris
Aunty Raewyn from up the shops
her niece
the babysitter
the baby
a very confused Wayne Gunston
Coach:
Dan Crowley - undercover cop
Laptop analysis:
Quade Cooper - computer theft
Team Masseuse:
Alan Jones – public bogs gay sex solicitation
Video Analysis:
Alan Jones – re; bogs film at 11
Treasurer:
Nick Farr Jones – can’t fahkin remember
Security:
Doug Roake: murder, robbery. although no deaths under his watch at Richie’s wedding. Well done, shithead.
Team Bus Driver:
Dan Carter – drunk driver

Groundskeeper:
Tony Daly - 500 hours community service for serial theft and driving offences
Ballboys:
Dave Alred and Paul Stridgeon (?)
Equipment/ball maintenance consultants:
David Warner
Steve Smith
Darren Lehmann
a few shady backroom bastards from the New England Patriots.

Physio, in charge of, you know, taping stuff:
Cameron Bancroft
Social Media manager:
Israel Folau
 

Dismal Pillock

Simon Poidevin (60)
Holy shit! He's a wifebeater!
Straight onto the bench. Selectors have decreed that wifebeating usurps making drugs and I agree with them. Bocchini down to WTG

Bench

Tim Bristow: Banned from rugby for life in 1962 for knocking out 8 opposing players.
Carl Hayman: WIFEBEATER
Lorenzo Bocchini: breaking bad meth cook
Sione Luaaki: trashing motel room/charged in with assault at a Tron bar/charged for careless driving and crashing/guilty of dropping 5 passes in one half of test match rugby football while playing for the New Zealand All Blacks.
Mark Catchpole: busted for dealing drugs. 9 months P.D
Stuart Olding: rape
John Payne: crippling someone in a bar fight.
Losi Filipo: bashing up four, 2 of them women.
Matthew Ridge: property development company went bust owing tradies & suppliers millions
 

Dismal Pillock

Simon Poidevin (60)
haha, nice find. Particularly like the order in which the heinous crimes are being reported:
"Dalton allegedly tried to drown her in a bath, smother her with a dress and threatened her."
Like she's half dead and then he finally decided to threaten her. Sort it out, James. That's basically the scrum equivalent of "engage, kill, crouch, knock-on, set."

Bit of a work-on for the psychotic dickhead.
 

Derpus

George Gregan (70)
haha, nice find. Particularly like the order in which the heinous crimes are being reported:Like she's half dead and then he finally decided to threaten her. Sort it out, James. That's basically the scrum equivalent of "engage, kill, crouch, knock-on, set."

Bit of a work-on for the psychotic dickhead.
You made me laugh and everyone in the officer gave me a dirty.
 

Tex

John Thornett (49)
haha, nice find. Particularly like the order in which the heinous crimes are being reported:Like she's half dead and then he finally decided to threaten her. Sort it out, James. That's basically the scrum equivalent of "engage, kill, crouch, knock-on, set."

Bit of a work-on for the psychotic dickhead.

It's the mad cape dutch grammar shining through. they're all back to front
 

Dismal Pillock

Simon Poidevin (60)
Selectors eyeing a certain court date on Jan 27th with a great deal of interest.....

https://www.stuff.co.nz/sport/rugby...amanaki-mafi--as-world-cup-squad-naming-looms

He'll never unseat starter Cecillon at #8 but if he can play 6 he could potentially crack the starting XV!
6 Pita Wilson: kidnapping and assault
7 Joseph Ntshongwana: killed 3 with an axe
8 Marc Cecillon: performing the eternal willie-away on own wife
What an achievement it would be.

Surely a huge moment in the life of this thimble-brained dumbarse.
 

Quick Hands

David Wilson (68)
Selectors eyeing a certain court date on Jan 27th with a great deal of interest...

https://www.stuff.co.nz/sport/rugby...amanaki-mafi--as-world-cup-squad-naming-looms

He'll never unseat starter Cecillon at #8 but if he can play 6 he could potentially crack the starting XV!

What an achievement it would be.

Surely a huge moment in the life of this thimble-brained dumbarse.

I think he can beat Pita Wilson on a count-back. Mafi gets bonus points for kidnapping a team mate.
 
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