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Aussie Towns Trivia

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Gristlechewer

Charlie Fox (21)
OBUM OBUM - QLD

Who would want to live here?
Whilst still being way nicer than auburn, this place should be called shit shit. Kalbar or Boonah are the two closest places to nowhere here.
Southwest of Ipswich and due west of the Gold Coast. Little farmlets abound with no real big stuff out there. Its in queensland so it is behind in the time zone (circa 75-76) and the only thing is that the pub at Boonah has something else besides xxxx.
MILFS leave their husbands here. Kids want to stay in boarding school.
 

Hugh Jarse

Rocky Elsom (76)
Staff member
Michelago, NSW. Nothing to see here. Keep going. A tin pot joint on the Monaro Highway where you have to slow down to 60km/hr when high tailing it to the snow. Passed through by many, stopped in by few. No reason to stop here. Keep going in whatever direction you are heading in for food, drink, entertainment, and rugby.
 

Almost 2 old

Chris McKivat (8)
One Tree NSW... It is out on the plain about half way between Booligal & Hay on the way to Ivanhoe. All that was there last time I went past was an old timber building and nothing else. My mate Slug Porter lives not far from there, as the crow flies, and he recons it's the flattest area in Australia and I suppose who are we to argue and why would we. If you want rugby go and watch the " Cutters" in at Hay and for any thing else you will have to go to Booligal or Hay. For history it is quite famous as it is mentioned in both song and prose. Absolutely nothing like Auburn or any where else for that matter.
 

Hugh Jarse

Rocky Elsom (76)
Staff member
Emu Flat, WA. We've already been to Emu, Emu Park, Emu Swamp and Emu Plains so it's only logical to include Emu Flat on our journey. The question is which one, WA or SA. Emu Flat WA is just over 2000 km from Emu Flat, SA. If you intend to make that journey and don't turn left at Norseman, you will end up in in a Double E (Esperence). 100 ks west to Kalgoorlie for any excitement, tucker, grog, cheeses and descent company. Rugby is on Foxtel.
 

Baldric

Jim Clark (26)
Traralgon - Vic. Heart of Gippsland and close to the arse of Victoria (Moe). Major industry in this area is pollution and making electricity. Never heard of any rugby teams in this area. The MILFs would be more like MIWNLTF. You want to keep going to Lakes Entrance or go back to Melbourne. Dont be seduced by this town.
 

Hugh Jarse

Rocky Elsom (76)
Staff member
Nowhere Else, SA. There's one of these in Tassie as well, and the Tassie Town is already on the "llst". This one is 13 km up the Nowhere Else Road from Sheringa towards Tooligie. Mary Deakin from the Elliston Council explains "It's a story of a couple of shepherds who set out to find the shepherd's hut and because there was a lot of trees like she-oaks in that day, they found it very hard to see. When they were coming up over a rise, one of the guys said 'If it's not over this hill it's nowhere else'. The shepherds eventually found the hut and the name stuck."
Souvenir Hunters regularly acquire the street sign at the turn off to Nowhere Else much to the chagrin of the Elliston Council. http://www.abc.net.au/news/2012-06-29/nowhere-else-sign-target-thieves/4100650
If it is serenity you are after, then this place has it in bucket loads. With the nearest population centre, Elliston (pop 400), about 50 km away, you should go somewhere else if you are looking for anything else in Nowhere Else. Google Streetview couldn't even be bothered going here.
 

Gristlechewer

Charlie Fox (21)
EKIBIN - QLD

Where you bin Cuz?
Ekibin mate.
No where you wheely bin?
Ekibin Bro!!!

West side o the highway and southside of Brisvegas, it is not the worst place to live in this town. (See Logan, Ipswich, etc)
The Ekibin pie shop rates Hugely!!!! It truely is worth the effort just for the Peppersteak Pie mmmmmmm.......
The MILF factor is pretty good round here too with the upwardly mobiles buying all the old 2 storey queenslanders and pumping the cash into them.Lots of Lorna Jane and designer daschounds/ Pugs/ whatever is current abound at the coffe shop too.
The mighty Magpies(Souths) are the men to be with here. Just up Cracknell Street onto Shaftsbury road and you will get to Annerley for a game. Souths is Tim Horans old club as well as Quades current one.
If auburn could emulate this town, it would change its name. But it can't so no one cares
 

Gristlechewer

Charlie Fox (21)
NARKO - QLD

80 km North West of Toowoomba.

Enough said.
MILF, food, footy please see Toowoomba. Not even a whistle stop, maybe a whistle slowdown?
You don't slowdown in auburn either
 

Almost 2 old

Chris McKivat (8)
Oxley NSW. Yep.. Little village about 20 miles west of Maude. It's on the Lachlan River so good for the fisho's but not many folk live there ,about 150 odd would pull it up. Was once a haven for berserk Victorian duck hunters who even had a shoot out there in the 80's out the front of the pub. Got a store and you can buy a house for about $50000 and plenty of work if you can shear sheep. Got to go about 50 miles East to Hay for rugby and don't recall any MILF's or "fine foods" , but, good folk live out that way.
 

Hugh Jarse

Rocky Elsom (76)
Staff member
Yabulu, QLD. Just outside Townsville, Clive Palmer makes a stack of money from a Nickel refinery here. For all your other needs, head for Townsville. It's only 30 minutes south.
 

Almost 2 old

Chris McKivat (8)
Urana NSW ... If you want to go and play rugby against the Deni Drovers you will nearly have to go through this town. It's about 70 miles west of Wagga. Got a pub ,club,school,Dr, stores,fuel & coppers. Biggest drawback is it has no rugby, so the closest club would be about 50 miles to the "Phantoms" at Leeton. It has the Columbo Creek and the " lake" which fills about 4 times each century so you will get a fish and yabbies, but, be very careful because it's also known for Tiger snakes and if you're bitten you won't go real well. It is the start of the "plains" so a few folk may get a little bored of the scenery. For history then Jerilderie(Ned Kelly fame) is about 40 miles. You will get a cup of coffee there and a packet of biscuits so all will be well. It's just another good little town on the way to nowhere much but worthy of a look.
 

Hugh Jarse

Rocky Elsom (76)
Staff member
Ardeer, Vic. Completely unremarkable western suburb of Melbourne. Named after a town in Scotland that is remarkable in that it is the site of Noble Industries of dynamite and Nobel Prize fame. This burb is a fair way behind enemy lines but try the Mighty Wyndham City Rhinos in Hoopers Crossing for a rugby fix.
 

Almost 2 old

Chris McKivat (8)
RYe Park. NSW.. It's a little hamlet about 16 miles east of Boorowa. It was a very strong Protestant settled area so there is no pub ,but, it has churches for nearly every denomination if that's your thing. For every thing else you can go west to Boorowa. There you will find rugby, pie shops, coffee shops and pubs. If you go northeast of Rye Park your next stop is Rugby then Crookwell and if you go further to the southeast the next stop is Dalton then Gunning. Can't talk about MILFs because the wife hails from close by.
 

Baldric

Jim Clark (26)
Kalimna - Vic. If you thinking good fruit driven shiraz then dont. This is a town down in Vic opposite Lakes Entrance. Think fish and chips and mayeb a reisling or a sauvignon blanc.
 

Almost 2 old

Chris McKivat (8)
If you were going west from Temora you would go past ...Ariah Park... Thank God they don't play rugby there because I doubt a D9 with a 4 foot ripper would even scratch their AFL ground. Got to be the hardest piece of "turf" going around. Even worse than West Wyalong. It. Has a pub, school, store,club & railway siding with silo's. The are a little quirky out that way because just a little further west at Mirool they have a competition to try and kick a "rules" ball over the silos. I think it's because they get a little bored between the end of the footy season and the start of harvest and there is no river for miles. If they don't serve it at the pub then they're not really interested in fine foods. Seen the odd one or 2 MILFS out that way.
 

Hugh Jarse

Rocky Elsom (76)
Staff member
Koolyanobbing, WA. Pop circa 300. Iron Ore Mining and little else. It is BYO everything. Only Rugby here will be on Foxtel. Nearest good wine is down in the Margaret River. Nearest good beer is from Feral Breweries in the Swan Valley. It's 3692 km from 4 Pines Brewery in Manly. Turn right at Southern Cross after 38 hours on the road.
 

Gristlechewer

Charlie Fox (21)
GOLDEN BAY - WA

On the road south out of Perth, on your way to Mandurah.... You will find the growing enclave of Golden Bay (It used to be Peelhurst and Singleton).
The Brai's are fired up with some Castle Lager and the questions like "Wanneer het jy hier beweeg?"
A fair few Milfs abound around here and the wines are from Overberg and western Cape.
The Rugby is getting stronger and stronger with more and more schools developing some fine young men.
A nice southern suburban town and you can still make the obligatory jokes about the towns name, especially after going to the beach.auburn does not exist in these peoples eyes,and auburn does not know about here
 

Hugh Jarse

Rocky Elsom (76)
Staff member
Yalyalup & Yoongarrilup, WA. Both towns are on respective sides of the Bussleton Airport in SW WA, and aren't all that far (in WA terms) from another Y---P town which has already been used in this game - Yallingup. The Bussleton Airport is the gateway to the delicious wines of the Margaret River Wine Region. No real culinary or hydration related reason to stay here, however you may desire to walk on the Bussleton Jetty, which at nearly 2km long is the longest wooden structure in the Southern Hemisphere. Head for the Margaret River proper. In addition to the usual wineries, there is the Cheeky Monkey, Eagle Bay, Bootleg, Bush Shack, Colonial, Cowaramup, Moody Cow and Margaret River craft breweries to visit and sample. Well behind enemy lines, the Busselton Jets Junior Rugby Club is the local outpost for Heavensgame.
 

Gristlechewer

Charlie Fox (21)
PIGGABEEN - NSW

Its up the arse end of the Currumbin Valley, but its in NSW... Go figure?
Kinda like Macksville if you follow loig...

Full of little farmlets and big verandahed houses, the mummies and daddies that live here send their kids to Cranbrook or scots rather than the indignation of having them attend TSS. Because they live in NSW.
The local food abounds with plastic just like the people.
There once was a decent pie shop down in Currumbin, when Bob McMaster had the pub but I think it now longer exists due to two highrise being built where I thought it stood.
The local footy teams are thick on the ground in juniors, but dissipate rapidly once the schools of the north plunder and pillage. It does give the Milfs something to brag about. "Oh yes, my little Oliver has been offered a Rugby scholarship at Terrace/BBC/Nudgee/Churchie. Thank god he didn't have to go to that new one at southport."
In saying that the Milf factor is changing drastically up here. Probably in an auburn kind of way. Piggabeen? Couldabeen?
 

Hugh Jarse

Rocky Elsom (76)
Staff member
Napier, WA. A far cry from it's namesake in NZ. Do not expect to find any Gimlett Gravel wines, orchards, Art Deco buildings or gannet safaris that that Napier is famous for. It is a full days travel to here from Napier, NZ (named after General Sir Charles Napier), or Napier, SAF (named after General Sir George Napier - brother of the NZ Napier). Napier, Ontario was named after General Sir William Napier (yet another brother). Napier County, NSW in Warrumbungle Shire was named after Field Marshall Robert Napier (unrelated). Napier Electorate in South Australia was named after Chief Justice Sir Thomas Napier (unrelated). This Napier was named after the rather lessor known Bruce Napier who was the district Farrier, Butcher, Postmaster and lay preacher in the 1890's. The 300 locals here are fairly resilient folk and are happy with their GAFA surroundings. Nearby Albany has all your culinary, hydration needs and you really only need to be here if it is some serenity you are looking for. Even then, there is better serenity 20 km up the road at the Porongurup National Park or in the Stirling Range National Park a further 40 km away. Sadly the Albany Rugby Club went into suspended animation a year or two back, but there are several local freedom fighters who periodically keep trying to breathe life into the club. Hoping.
 
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