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Why is Marto employed as a commentator?

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Quick Hands

David Wilson (68)
It's the ebb and flow of the commentary psychic energy that we all miss.

Anyone who can come out with stuff like this should have a permanent gig on TV:
"Strangely, in slow motion replay, the ball seemed to hang in the air for even longer."
"As you know, I've been pumping Marty Leslie for a couple of years now."
"You don't like to see hookers going down on players like that."
"He's looking for some meaningful penetration into the backline."
"Spencer's running across field calling out, 'come inside me, come inside me.'"
"I can tell you it's a magnificent sensation when the gap opens up like that and you just burst right through."
"I don't like this new law, because your first instinct when you see a man on the ground is to go down on him"
"Darryl Gibson has been quite magnificent coming inside Andrew Mehrtens, and I'm looking forward to seeing more of the same today."

"There's nothing that a tight forward likes more than a loosie right up his backside"
http://www.therock.net.nz/The-best-of-Murray-Mexted/tabid/1455/articleID/18772/Default.aspx
 

waiopehu oldboy

Stirling Mortlock (74)
^^^^^^^^ a few years back there was a Sky rugby promo featuring Mex & Nisbo calling a game sitting in a car ("commentating from the car park" in other words). Can't find it on YouTube but it was pretty damn good.

These days Mex is way too busy running The International Rugby Academy, in Palmy North of all places, to do any comm work but I believe he pops up on shows like re:Union from time to time.

http://www.iranz.co.nz

On the subject of Marto, it may be a case of familiarity breeding less contempt but he's been saying some things on MMM lately that I've found myself agreeing with. And if you think Tim Horan is a twat talking rugby, listen to him on MMM's Dead Set Legends trying to talk about league..............
 

nathan

Alfred Walker (16)
This Brumbies Crusaders match is awful. Marto has crusaders dick so far down his throat I'm amazed he can speak.

When did Foxsports decide that they needed to show that they weren't biased by blatantly supporting the non-Australian side?
 

nathan

Alfred Walker (16)
Ask Kafe.

It's clearly changed in the last few weeks for the entire bunch of Foxsports commentators.

Funnily enough it seems the opposite has happened for the South African commentator team in the same period of time. They're out of control.
 

Slim 293

Stirling Mortlock (74)
At one point today Marto tried to apply some insight into the Brumbies tactics by stating that they had shifted Tomane over to the right wing in defence for the match to cover Nadolo............

That was based on the observation of Tomane being positioned on the right wing once in the entire match..............

If he'd been paying any attention during that part of the game he would've seen Speight come infield for cover defence, and Tomane going out to the right wing to cover the numbers.............

It's a very minor thing, but he went on a big rant stating definitively that this was the Brumbies' tactics for the game (which didn't make any sense), and it's just a simple example on how poorly he reads the game.
 

HighPlainsDrifter

Jimmy Flynn (14)
I think Marto will win this years Logie for "Most improved Sports Commentator by percentage" from 2/10 to 4/10 ...pretty spectacular in my book . Reminds me of winning the most improved cricketer award for my club 2 years running as a mere boy playing men's cricket ( how shit was I in year one ? )
 

Pfitzy

George Gregan (70)
Now we need to work on Kafer's unabridged distaste for anything Waratahs. He's really going over the edge
 

Pfitzy

George Gregan (70)
Nah I'm picking Brumbies to do the Stormers and Canes on the road to give them a moral victory when we pound them in the final at a sold out ANZ.

It will make Kafer's bitchy little rubber-faced tears all the sweeter.
 

Quick Hands

David Wilson (68)
It don't know if he's realised it yet, but Kafer's continuous snide anti-Waratah comments have moved him from being in the "expert commentator/analyst" role to the comedy relief role also occupied by Marto and Kearns.

He's doing his own reputation far more damage that he is to the Waratahs.
 

waiopehu oldboy

Stirling Mortlock (74)
^^^^^^^^^^^ is Kearns still a member of the 'tahs and/ or NSWRU boards? If so it needs to be disclosed, even if it's just Clarke or whoever saying "spoken like a true 'tahs board member, Kearnsy" or some such.

Truly awful dummy-spit from Kearns who has now regained his spot atop @ Dismal Pillock's Worst Commentator Pole, displacing Greg Martin by a margin as slim as eithers grasp of the Laws.......................
 
T

TOCC

Guest
Phil Kearns was been a little dramatic last night, I feel sorry for Kiwi fans who were listening to his commentary.
 
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