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Auckland Blues To Infinity and Beyond

waiopehu oldboy

Stirling Mortlock (74)
^^^^^^^^ if he goes ballistic first, there will be nowhere to hide..............

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Dismal Pillock

Simon Poidevin (60)
Sam Nock must be the keeper, messrs Hall & Guyton shown the door. Repetitive predictable shonky passes all but signposting to the opposing flankers "please feel free to run directly towards Ihaia West and smash the bastard" might do that. No wonder West stands so deep, he's trying to buy himself some fuckin time before he gets thumped.

At least Hungus Pulu's shonky passes aren't repetitive or predictable. He does have a burl.

Wow, a real actual live All Black playing in the backs for the Auckland Blues! And one who has played for The CHIEFS, and as such has experienced a winning culture. The Blues backs will be starstruck

___________________________________________

Auckland Blues backs queue up to touch actual All Black.

--NZ Herald--

Following the Blues signing of 2-test All Black Augustine Pulu from the Chiefs, a number of the Auckland Blues backs have this morning formed an orderly queue at the base of their Lo-High Performance Training Centre in Auckland in the hope of "physically touching an actual All Black back who has actually played for a winning franchise".

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"I brought my boots for him to sign."
--Visinia.







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"Don't jump the queue bro. I was here first."
--Melanie Nanai.









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"I just want him to sign my boobs."
--a giddily squealing Tevita Li.
 

Purce

Jim Clark (26)
I saw on the main forum page that Dismal was the last to post here and thought to myself "fark I've got to see what he has written about his own hopeless team"

Did NOT disappoint. Thank you sir.

I shall now be a regular visitor to this forum.
 

waiopehu oldboy

Stirling Mortlock (74)
AustralAuckland Super Rugby Conference points table:

1. Brumbies (21)
2. Rebels (17)
3. Blues (16)
4. Waratahs (12)
5. Reds (8)
6. Force (6)

Mid-table with a bullet! First, they take Manhatten.............
 

Dismal Pillock

Simon Poidevin (60)
On the bright side, the Blues actually lead the comp in possession stats.

They have no fuckin idea what to do with any of the possession whatso-fucking-ever but still, possession of the rugby football could be good!

Blues win next week, Rebs, Sharks and Bulls all lose, the planets align, bonus points are withheld, Satan farts, we look to the sky with praying hands, and hello, the goddamn shit-for-brains Auckland Blues are in the motherfucking Top 8 playoff picture.
 

waiopehu oldboy

Stirling Mortlock (74)
Yeah, but....
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As Ye sow, so shall Ye reap. Or words to that effect. Maybe. I dunno, really. Um, where was I again? Oh, ya, Bloos in the Super Rugby Top Eight. Ain't gunna happen, bro, ain't gunna happen.
 

Hawko

Tony Shaw (54)
Rene Ranger has done his AC. Out for the season. Is this the end for Blues hopes or the best thing that could have happened? Discuss.
 

Dismal Pillock

Simon Poidevin (60)
latest capitulation even making the news in espanol.​
Los infantales Aucklande Blues 'Totale Decapitationne' en la historia
--Madrid Times--
Tres intentos en 11 minutos fue un totale drug addictionne nightmare de Jo'Burg. Tana Umaga ahora sabe la frustración el coaching el Blues back 3 los high ball de totale mentale incapatitacionne. "Los Blues back 3 high ball el mundo spasticico. **GUILTY**: Los Visinia, Li & Nanai: LOS PUBLICE EXECUTIONNE ONEHUNGA TOWN SQUARE DE SUNDAYE HIGH NOONE."
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Los Coach Umaga post matche conferencio: not aging well.
Visinia, Li & Nanai los par non compis mentis on defencio de high ball ultimatio mysterio Los leones rampantes en el Ellis Park de Johannesburgo. Tevita Li & Visinia totale mentalle instabilio, cluelesse defensio systemio. Tevita Li desafortunadamente para Visinia en 80 minutos contra alcoholio & cualquier totale drug addiccionne cartel.
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"But my hands got wet." - Nanai.
"Mummy forgot to pack my wet weather gloves."- Li.
"I lost the ball in the lights. And I think I got a blister."- Visinia.
Por qué el Blues eran forwarrde pack shallow grave tan pobre contra en masse abandonmente in Swaziland forever, fuck the the lot of them.
Conferencia de Nueva Zelanda, Cantabs also lost, Emergencye Conveninge los Crusaders Cabal in Mccaw's basement:
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Los cabal messrs: A.Wyllie, R.Mccaw, R.Thorne, T.Blackadder, R.Deans & R.Mccaw (again, 2nd time in one photo, #7 el mundo rapido)
 
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