Worst Commentator Pole Action
- Thread starter Dismal Pillock
- Start date
waiopehu oldboy
Stirling Mortlock (74)
Yeah, loved his assertion that not only were the AB forwards offside all night, but that they were ALL offside all night so it didn't look so obvious.
liquor box
Greg Davis (50)
I hate Kearns with a passion and get sick of his biased opinions.
Especially noticeable when they had a graphic up with the NZ props 3 boring in and showed the arrow to show by how much.
He did not comment that the arrow was at 45 degrees and happened to be the same angle of the feed by Genia.
He is a disgrace as a commentator and I am still yet to find any redeeming qualities.
Does anyone actually find him funny? My guess is that people laugh at him.
Kafer was having none of that, much to his credit.
waiopehu oldboy
Stirling Mortlock (74)
True, but only 'cos he NEVER agrees with Kearns..........
Quick Hands
David Wilson (68)
I enjoyed listening to Keith Quinn again during the 7s series. I'd like to see him back in the 15 a side game.
HighPlainsDrifter
Jimmy Flynn (14)
Jeff Wilson gets the gong this week for the presentation of the Bledisloe Cap .... Honourable mention to the King of unbiased commentary Phil Kearns who if he had a yacht should call it "Mediocrity"
199madmave
Ward Prentice (10)
Can we add Cam Shepherd to the list? Woeful commentating during the Rising V Spirit game
Absolutely. He was very average and highly annoying.
Have pity on us. We have had him all year in the Shute Shield commentary team.
Dismal Pillock
Simon Poidevin (60)
The Tears of Phil Kearns. At Night.
--National Geographic--
Once night falls, The Tears of Phil Kearns magically morph to assume even greater biblical mystical powers than they possess during the daytime.
Just one single solitary tear, rubbed lovingly by a foreigner at night upon his tiny little wee extradited plaintiff, has been scientifically proven to:
• guarantee an enormous financial windfall for the foreigner in the very next lottery.
• make the foreigner smell a bit less funny. (for a week or two)
• make the foreigner slightly less foreign. (for a day or two)
The Tears of Phil Kearns.
Seen below for the first time at night.
"Yay though The Tears of Phil shall, by day, wend a golden rivuleted trench through the land of Wollongong, by night, that same trench shall glow forth with a volcanic torrent of unspeakably delicious butthurt" said the Bible. The Night Version of the Bible.
These tears at night, enriched by the lunatic moon, contain such vibrant properties for the foreigner that, frankly, if he or she were to rub them directly into their OWN eyes, they would not be able to see straight for minutes on end due to the giddying pleasure of science and tears.
The Kearns Boil. At Night.
A pooling so powerful that even typing out descriptors for its omnipotence will simply cause the words to disintegr
The secret of the foreigner Richard Mccaw’s mystical prowess on the rugby field?
Mccaw, photographed here at night, in his All Blacks office, rubbing The Tears of Phil Kearns directly onto his tiny little drill bit. Until it shines.
--National Geographic--
Once night falls, The Tears of Phil Kearns magically morph to assume even greater biblical mystical powers than they possess during the daytime.
Just one single solitary tear, rubbed lovingly by a foreigner at night upon his tiny little wee extradited plaintiff, has been scientifically proven to:
• guarantee an enormous financial windfall for the foreigner in the very next lottery.
• make the foreigner smell a bit less funny. (for a week or two)
• make the foreigner slightly less foreign. (for a day or two)
The Tears of Phil Kearns.
Seen below for the first time at night.
"Yay though The Tears of Phil shall, by day, wend a golden rivuleted trench through the land of Wollongong, by night, that same trench shall glow forth with a volcanic torrent of unspeakably delicious butthurt" said the Bible. The Night Version of the Bible.
These tears at night, enriched by the lunatic moon, contain such vibrant properties for the foreigner that, frankly, if he or she were to rub them directly into their OWN eyes, they would not be able to see straight for minutes on end due to the giddying pleasure of science and tears.
The Kearns Boil. At Night.
A pooling so powerful that even typing out descriptors for its omnipotence will simply cause the words to disintegr
The secret of the foreigner Richard Mccaw’s mystical prowess on the rugby field?
Mccaw, photographed here at night, in his All Blacks office, rubbing The Tears of Phil Kearns directly onto his tiny little drill bit. Until it shines.
199madmave
Ward Prentice (10)
Benn Robinson should have been wearing an Eagles jersey on Saturday while commentating on the Eagles V Rising. Doubt that I have heard any one more biased than him! At 32 minutes he said the Eagles had been dominating for the last 30 minutes - the Rising were 16-0 up in the first 15 minutes!!
The torpedo
Peter Fenwicke (45)
Crucial tears situation nighttime update:
Don't worry.
A new supply of tears will come @ about 9:00pm Australian Eastern Standard Time.
Until then, rationing will be required
waiopehu oldboy
Stirling Mortlock (74)
If we lose tonight I'm blaming @Dismal Pillock for mocking the Goddess of Random Rugby Results aka GRRR (again!) & if we win I'm glad I'll be here in SEQ where we'll get enough warning of the incoming tsunami for wifey to haul my drunk kiwi ass up into the high country, Toowoomba should be far enough 
waiopehu oldboy
Stirling Mortlock (74)
Classic Willie Lose, seconds after a Bryn Gatland penalty hits the post & lands back near the 22: "That can't have missed by much."
Dismal Pillock
Simon Poidevin (60)
bit surprised at results of this SA online pole visa visa Best Commentator:
41 % Hugh Bladen
6 % Joel Stransky
9 % Kobus Wiese
8 % Matthew Pearce
Thought Stransky would be miles ahead. Personally, I cant stand him. He's all impartial and jovial until the very first second his boys are under the kosh then that goes right out the fucken window.
41 % Hugh Bladen
6 % Joel Stransky
9 % Kobus Wiese
8 % Matthew Pearce
Thought Stransky would be miles ahead. Personally, I cant stand him. He's all impartial and jovial until the very first second his boys are under the kosh then that goes right out the fucken window.
Brumby Runner
David Wilson (68)
On a non-rugby note, did you see the pictures of Joel a day or two ago after his bicycle crash? Bigger mess than he ever finished a rugby game.
wamberal
Phil Kearns (64)
Bloody Greg Clarke, still going on and on about trivial statistics ad bloody nauseum.
And the cliches. "He thought he saw a way through there".
Does he ever, ever say anything incisive or original? Does he ever make an expert observation? He talks and talks and says nothing.
No personality, no insights, that's our Greg.
And the cliches. "He thought he saw a way through there".
Does he ever, ever say anything incisive or original? Does he ever make an expert observation? He talks and talks and says nothing.
No personality, no insights, that's our Greg.
Dismal Pillock
Simon Poidevin (60)
Every match I start out intently listening to his statistics then within 90 seconds the torrential deluge of numbers have coalesced into an impenetrable downpour of statistical diatribery that, for the next 80 minutes, scarcely even registers.
Maaardo might drive me batshit insane but at least he’s raving mad enthusiastic about it. Nesbo these days is like an old pair of fluffy slippers that’ve long since morphed into just part of the furniture. Barely serves any purpose, doesn’t matter what foot you put either on, they’re just there to serve an instantly forgotten function, then promptly forgotten about again.
Still, should cherish our last few AB tests with Nesbo in the booth becuase once he's out to pasture we’ll get Tony Johnstone for his lifetime tenure, him and his raging hard little cantabs drillbit liberally embellished with his patented anti-Blues gloss. Oh joy. Buffing it. Until it shines.
Maaardo might drive me batshit insane but at least he’s raving mad enthusiastic about it. Nesbo these days is like an old pair of fluffy slippers that’ve long since morphed into just part of the furniture. Barely serves any purpose, doesn’t matter what foot you put either on, they’re just there to serve an instantly forgotten function, then promptly forgotten about again.
Still, should cherish our last few AB tests with Nesbo in the booth becuase once he's out to pasture we’ll get Tony Johnstone for his lifetime tenure, him and his raging hard little cantabs drillbit liberally embellished with his patented anti-Blues gloss. Oh joy. Buffing it. Until it shines.