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Auckland Blues To Infinity and Beyond

Dismal Pillock

Simon Poidevin (60)
Round 4 and hello a colossal capitulation to the CantaBlands,

Still havent recovered from losing to the cantabs in Rd 4. Don't think I ever will. I think it broke my fucken brain.
https://www.newsroom.co.nz/@rugby/2017/03/20/15826/super-rugby-numbers-dont-always-add-up-as-habits-prove-hard-to-shake
The Crusaders were smashed in almost every numerical statistic there is except the one that matters – the scoreboard. The Blues carried the ball more often (137-93), covered more metres (539-238) made more clean breaks (15-2), off loads (18-4) and passes. As a result they were forced to make fewer tackles, (96 to the Crusaders 144) and didn’t miss anywhere near as many as their hosts (11 to 33). Yet they lost.
 

Dismal Pillock

Simon Poidevin (60)
Designated Messiah
I'd like to see a rundown of all the Designated Messiah's since Spencer left in 06. it's all a blur really

07 Nick Evans?
08 new 1st 5
09 new 1st 5
10 new 1st 5
11 Luke Mc****ister
12 Toeava?
13 new 1st 5
14 Weepu?
15 Nonu
16 A.Ioane
17 Perofeta
 

KiwiM

Trevor Allan (34)
SBW is the Messiah and has returned home - this weekend he will appropriately be wearing the number 23 #HisAirness :cool:
 

Dismal Pillock

Simon Poidevin (60)
why oh why do I start these things......

famtree3_zpsnqz1bdub.jpg
 

Bullrush

John Hipwell (52)
Read some report that he had a mixed bag for the dev side last weekend with two tries and some bad errors, and then went out with an injury, might have been a head knock?

I'm devastated. One of my favourite players and was pound-for-pound possibly the best Super Rugby player before he went to rugby purgatory eke the NH
 

No4918

John Hipwell (52)
Success. Blues are back with chance of finals from 2018. How did sneaky NZRU slip that in unnoticed? Just our little secret, Don't tell 'where to for Super Rugby?' thread who runs the game.
 

No4918

John Hipwell (52)
8 teams finals looks very good for Blues. Conference winner plus top 5 on points. All NZ franchises can make the finals in one year.
 

Dismal Pillock

Simon Poidevin (60)
i still reckon with all the local derbies the nZ teams will cannibalise themselves leaving the bottom 2 fucked. Hello, Blues. Unless....


Unnamed Ex-Auckland Blues Assistant Restructures Super 18 into new “Super 1” Competition.

--NZ Herald—

An unnamed ex-Auckland Blues assistant coach has taken the surprising step of reorganizing the dogs bollocks 18-team strong Super Rugby competition into a new “streamlined” competition featuring just the one team.

grahamhenry_zps521dab57.jpg

“I’m not at liberty to say who the one remaining team is but I think we both know who the one remaining team is now don’t we eh?”
-- an unnamed ex-Auckland Blues assistant coach

“Since the one remaining team can’t very well play themselves, mainly because they'd probably somehow manage to f***ing lose” continued the ex-assistant coach, “I have taken the liberty of splitting the team up into 12 distinct entities who will play each other in the new Super One competition. Home and away so each team will play 22 matches in a season. The teams are as follows. By the way, I had my wife give them some racey new team names.”
  • Ponsonby Housing Pricers
  • University Poofs
  • Manukau Shopping Centres
  • Onehunga Mallers
  • Waitemata Michael Jonesers
  • Pakuranga Bogans
  • Otahuhu Barfighters
  • College Rifles
  • Grammar Wankers
  • Marist Godbotherers
  • Suburbs Fullaz Eh
  • Papatoetoe Potato Toes

grahamhenry_zps521dab57.jpg

“All the funds accrued from Super Rugby will now be redirected to these new franchises. It doesn’t all just run on goodwill and lollipops you know. No more questions”
 

Dismal Pillock

Simon Poidevin (60)
fuckin KNEW this showpony womans weekly tooth fairy publicity slut melodrama bollocks would accompany this c**t to the Blues. fucken KNEW IT.

THE C**T NOW WANTS HIS OWN SPECIALLY MADE JERSEY.

FOR ONLY HIM.

DIFFERENT TO ALL THE OTHER PRICKS JERSEYS

YOU HAVE TO BE FVCKING SHITTING ME.

**NEWSFLASH** princess its not all about YOU. Especially not at the shithead Blues who have enough problems without your Days Of Our Lives garbage, PACK UP YOUR SHIT AND FUCK OFF, take it somewhere else buddy, how about off to IslamLand near the shifting sands of no-fucks-given, try the fucken taj mahal or some shit tuff guy, you can donate your salary to some oil terrorist homophobe wanker the shirt?, yes, I’ve made the shirt, yes it should get me banned from here to Sixpackistan FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
 

Dismal Pillock

Simon Poidevin (60)
Byron makes his own ointment I can airdrop some over if you like but never mind that now, so many questions for username@”Blues Recovery” regarding the Blues recovery. Have scrolled through all of his posts and not a single word yet about what he has planned for the actual Blues Recovery. Very interested to hear. Will it require NZRFU intervention Tony Soprano-style? Passing a constitutional writ making ALL school attendees in the greater Auckland metropolitan area the lifelong property of the Auckland Blues? Yes, I quite like that one. Thanks, blues_recovery!
 
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