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Aussie Towns Trivia

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Gristlechewer

Charlie Fox (21)
RANGA - TAS.

I honestly cannot believe that Tasmania lays claim to this joint. For a start it is not even on the Map of Tassie but Flinders Bloody Island!
Should be a colony for all the Blood Nuts, Beetroot Balls, Fanta Pants, Rust Nuts and Carrot Tops. They don't need to be let back in with real people anyway. Sorry Bluey.

It is a quite beautiful part of the world except if you are under 50 kg and then you get blown off the land into Bass Strait. Small animals and skinny kids go missing regularly mmmmm.... It IS Tasmania though.
No real footy here. The bakery passes muster barely from what I hear but that is 20 min away. No Milfs because they are your mum or sister or cousin or brother or sheep. I would rather that these winds went through auburn
 

Hugh Jarse

Rocky Elsom (76)
Staff member
Adventure Bay, TAS. Named after the HMS Adventure, not the range of activities one could engage in. Food and wine is pretty much BYO, although there are wine and cheese options available elsewhere on Bruny Island. Try the Wayaree Estate Pinot Noir. Bugger all people live here and there is no rugby. It is all about tourists enjoying the serenity of South Bruny National Park.
 

Gristlechewer

Charlie Fox (21)
YAM ISLAND - QLD

Closer to Port Moresby than to the mainland,and northernmost of the Torres Strait Island group. It is heaven, simple as that. Also known as Iama by the locals.
Fishing, subsistence farming and mud crabs that will walk home with you, just to save you carrying them. As far as footy goes. No. As far as pies go. No. as far as Milfs, forget it.
Big tides and a slightly fractious tectonic plate make for interesting times, but if you need to get out of here there is a small runway and big boats can get in and out with all tides.
This place has a beauty about it that that can only be found in the North of our country.
 

Hugh Jarse

Rocky Elsom (76)
Staff member
^^Yam Island is at the top of Australia, so heading almost at the bottom we have:

Dee, Tas. Serenity plus. Only a dozen of so fishing lodges here in central Tas, about 2 hours from any decently sized joint. Rainbow Trout and serenity are plentiful, nothing else. One of only 16 three letter Australian towns. Most of your food, beverage, and rugby needs are satisfied from Hobart.
 

Gristlechewer

Charlie Fox (21)
EPSOM - VIC

I know that HJ will think... Epsom? mmmm... That was Epsom Qld Sir.

This is Epsom In Bendigo. Right near the race track heading north. It can be freezing cold or boiling hot.Never a happy medium. In saying that many many years ago when I was a young chewer, I met a lady that the races who said she was psychic. Gee we had a good time that day winning on the punt.
She was a happy medium (boom boom)
There are numerous good pie shops in Bendigo as well as a healthy Milf content.
As far as Rugby goes, leave it out of the vernacular here coz its foooooootttttyyyy aka cross country volleyball.
A nice country town that honestly deserves more kudos
 

Hugh Jarse

Rocky Elsom (76)
Staff member
Mangalore, Vic. Is this where the residents of Boytown, QLD move on to when they grow up? Not a lot to see in this small Victorian town, who's airfield was once the main alternative airport for Melbourne. Many years ago, the Mangalore Hotel used to dish up a great trucker sized steak feed. Nearest rugby would be available, via the bastion of rugby that is the ADF, at Puckapunyal in the Vic Country Rugby Union.
 

Gristlechewer

Charlie Fox (21)
EWINGSDALE - NSW

Girls, stop shaving your legs and armpits... We're going to Byron.
Just outside of Byron that was traditionally Hippy Town.
Now though,megamansions on big blocks and no sitar music to be heard anywhere out here. One of the boys from the nice little band called "Parkway Drive" come from here so that will give you an indication of how this area has changed. (Hugh, ask one of the junior Jarses. They will play it for you)

Its 5k out of town so everything that Byron has basically applies to Ewingsdale.
Footy is via Byron Rugby. MILF is via all options available, but good luck getting one that isn't inked. Good food abounds including the Earth and sea pizza which has been round for years. The saddening part is there is no Pie shop worth even discussing. For this, the Byron Shire Mayor should be arrested and made Mayor of auburn until someone opens a decent one.
That would be hell for him.
 

Almost 2 old

Chris McKivat (8)
If you go north of Bourke by about 60 miles be careful not to blink because you will go straight through ENNGONIA which would be a pity. The last time I was there it had a hotel that was appropriately name the "Oasis", a store , fuel, a school, a few houses and coppers. The Warrego river runs past so it's OK for the fisho's but for EVERYTHING ELSE including rugby you have to go back into Bourke. Their one great social occasion is held in late September and it is their "Race Meeting" & they said that there was about 7000+ the day we were there with MILFS by the truck load. I heard it said that it now rivals Birdsville but I wouldn't know because I haven't been to Birdsville Races. The thing about Enngonia is that It is just like most of those small places way out in the scrub in that they are interesting little places if you care to slow down for long enough to look. The sheep were pretty good shearing out that way too.
 

Gristlechewer

Charlie Fox (21)
The ultimate irony.

ADVANCETOWN - QLD.

West of the bull shark infested waterways of Benowa, Clear Island Water etc is Adavancetown. It is a pretty place for the Gold Coast, but unfortunately on the wrong side of the motorway.
All the basics are covered by the satellite commuter suburbs here. No shining lights in the culinary department. No really decent pie shop and an overabundance of Milf. Mostly driven past at 100 kmh. Like most people do to auburn
 

Hugh Jarse

Rocky Elsom (76)
Staff member
Nowergup, WA. End of the Joondalup Rail line, north of Perth. Sleepy dormitory town in the outer extremes of Perth Metro, the nearest footy is probably available from the Wannaroo Roo Dogs. While there isn't too much of a reason to stop here, despite a somewhat chequered history, you will now get a warm welcome, good feed and cold beer at the nearby Ocean View Tavern.
 

Almost 2 old

Chris McKivat (8)
Pretty Pine ... When you leave Deniliquin head towards Moulamein & at about the 13 mile mark you will come across a "T" intersection with a hotel on the NW corner and that's all that is there now days. It's a good pub that will give you a good feed , cold beer and a clean bed with plenty of interesting conversation with the odd tussock jumper, shearer, cockie and roo shooter. Good fishing in the near by Edward River but there is not much else except for dryland farming and irrigated paddocks, so, for everything else you have to go to Deni. The rugby is with the Deni Drovers who are a good mob of fellas and there is plenty of coffee shops and a couple of pie shops too. It is also a reasonable sized town so you will see all types of women who you may fancy & it is absolutely NOTHING like Alburn
 

Hugh Jarse

Rocky Elsom (76)
Staff member
Eunanoreenya, NSW. Previously known as Eunanyhareenyha and Eunonyhareenya, In any variation, this is a bugger of a place to spell out. If you happen to pass through this rural area, just east of Wagga Wagga, do drop in to Cottontail Wines for a good nosebag and hydration stop. Their Shiraz is good, although the third bottle of such is not so good the morning after, as was discovered following a mates wedding here a while back. It was noted that a dip in the nearby mighty Murrimbidgee had amazing recuperative powers from the ill effects of said third bottle. Restaurant type food only here. Head back to the Wagga Wagga CDB for pies, beer, and rugby.
 

Gristlechewer

Charlie Fox (21)
ANAMBAH - NSW

Maitland suburb. Disgruntled housewives with their FIFO husbands that have been moved from the Singleton and Muswellbrook mines. A Milf hunters dreams.
They sit around all day an hour from the ocean and bored to tears before they shop. There really is nothing to do out here except consume all types of beverage. this is done in bucket loads.
There are some good bakeries around the town for the pie stakes with Lorn being one and at Morpeth up the road doing a red hot sourdough too.
Footy comes via the Maitland Blacks and have always been a strong entity around.
The only thing that this place has in common with auburn is that they both start with the letter "a".
 

Baldric

Jim Clark (26)
Horsham - Vic
Nearest rugby is down in Warnambool. Pies at Conways Bakery or keep driving to SA. Unsure about MILF status and frankly to scared to investigate.
 

Aussie D

Dick Tooth (41)
Murrays Beach, NSW
Small town on the shores of Lake Macquarie. Sleepy little hamlet with no pubs to speak of (from memory), food is a small tourist shop (don't know about pies). Great little picnic spot, not many MILFs but plenty of grannies if you are that way inclined. A million times better than Auburn. Nearest rugby club would be Lake Macquarie in the Newcastle comp or Northlakes in the Central Coast comp.
 

Gristlechewer

Charlie Fox (21)
HAROLDS CROSS - NSW

He's cross alright! Fuck'n ropable! Why?

Because there is absolutely NOTHING there... Jack Schitt. Its the kind of place you go to dispose of relationships. Permanently.
No Footy (you have to go to canbra for that)
No pub ( drink with the public servants in canbra)
No Milf ( not going to go there in the kinky capital)

If you lived in Harolds Cross you would move, just not to auburn.
 

Hugh Jarse

Rocky Elsom (76)
Staff member
Seacliff, SA. Grandpa Jarse said if you can't say something nice about someone or something, then it's best not to say anything. It's a suburb of Adelaide.
 

Aussie D

Dick Tooth (41)
Frazer Park, NSW. On the Central Coast near the Munmorah State Recreation Area. For footy, go to the local Northlakes Rugby Club, they'll be happy to see you. Food? From memory there was a general store at nearby Elizabeth Bay, not sure what the tucker is like. For MILF factor, not far away is Birdie Beach, apt name for a nudist beach so perv to your heart's content, there is plenty of sand about if you see something that makes you feel the need to rub it in. It is amazing to think that this place and Auburn are in the same state or country let alone on the same planet.
 

Aussie D

Dick Tooth (41)
Kariong, NSW - Just off the M1 exit as you take the Central Coast Highway into Gosford. Home of a Juvenile detention Centre and scout Camp (not the same place) and not much else. Not sure of pubs or pie shops in the area. They have a rugby club, the Wanderers who won 4 premierships back-to-back in the early 1990s, setting a record for consecutive wins (53) in the process. The record has been taken by Moree since then. As for MILFs, most of the women in that part of the world are as rough as guts so if you don't mind them toothless then you'll be fine.
 
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