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Clyde Rathbone's battle with depression

Swat

Chilla Wilson (44)
Another rugby star talks about his battle with the black dog. As someone who also has battled with depression I think it's great that more high profile people are discussing their problems. Being open about my depression was definitely the first step in treating it.

Former Wallaby Clyde Rathbone reveals battle with depression​

Jacqueline Williams

February 1, 2012 - 11:21AM
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Speaking out ... Clyde Rathbone talks about his battle with depression. Photo: Melissa Adams
He played almost 30 Tests for Australia and was considered one of the most damaging rugby players in his heyday, but Clyde Rathbone was living a lie at the peak of his career and was close to becoming "another statistic".
The former rugby star, who lives in Canberra, yesterday opened up to family and friends for the first time about his long battle with depression.
Rathbone told his story to the The Canberra Times because he wanted people to know that the battle with depression could be won.
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Clyde Rathbone scored eight tries in 26 Tests for the Wallabies. Photo: Getty Images
HIS STORY Read Clyde Rathbone's post about his depression
"This is an opportunity to make something good out of a bad situation... I just thought it was now or never," the 30-year-old said.
"Hearing something like this when I was going through it may have helped me.
"The message is that depression is not just survivable and the goal should never be just to survive, you should be thriving."
Rathbone revealed that his marriage began to fail and he shut himself off from the world. He opened up to his wife Carrie in 2010 and sought professional help last year.
Free of depression for the past six months, Rathbone has transformed his body, losing the extra weight gained during his turmoil. Revealing his depression to family, friends and the public has been painful, but cathartic. Rathbone said most were shocked to hear he suffered from depression because he was able to disguise it so well.
"I had a teammate text me and say they've had depression for seven years," he said.
"This has reinforced what I've known - that depression is everywhere, but it's hidden, it's under the radar."
With more than 50 Super Rugby matches under his belt, Rathbone was forced to retire in 2009 because of injury, which is when his life started to spiral out of control.
"Anyone who met me would think I was completely normal," Rathbone said.
"And I maintained that fictitious existence for years.
"[Forced retirement] was a catalyst for a flood of negative thoughts I had pushed to the background, many I had for years slowly began coming back... I slipped further and further into depression until I was chronically and severely depressed.
"I began having suicidal thoughts."
Growing up in South Africa, Rathbone said he was perceived by many as an arrogant teenager who was "living the dream", having been moulded into a world-class athlete. But on the inside Rathbone had little confidence and low self-esteem, something he had battled since childhood.
After captaining the South African national under-21 team to victory in the 2002 World Cup, Rathbone was offered a contract to play for the Brumbies and later played Test rugby for the Wallabies.
"There's no question that my depression affected my performance," Rathbone said.
"There is no question that I would have played better, been more successful in rugby if I wasn't depressed.
"I know that, because I wasn't enjoying it."
Rathbone doesn't know how he managed to perform at an elite level, but is thankful for having sport as an outlet.
Support is available for anyone who may be distressed by calling SANE Helpline 1800 18 7263; Lifeline 131 114; Salvo Crisis Line - 9331 2000; beyondblue 1300 22 46 36.

Read more:
http://www.smh.com.au/rugby-union/union-news/former-wallaby-clyde-rathbone-reveals-battle-with-depression-20120201-1qs56.html#ixzz1l61nn7Pg
 

suckerforred

Chilla Wilson (44)
As a person who has suffered from depression for about 27 years, mostly untreated, I can understand where he is coming from and what he has been through. I remember telling my boss a couple of years ago and you could have knocked him down with a feather - his reply 'But your such a high achiever?' And that is the point, most depressives can cover very very well and it is not until part of our lives is destroyed or at least starts falling apart that issues are treated and recognised. Good luck to Clyde, I am glad that he has come through the other side, but he's a bastard. He made me cry.
 

mudskipper

Colin Windon (37)
Wow great letter by Clyde Rathbone... an amazing brave post... I wish him all the best... I always remember him as a friendly smiley Brumby... Keep that big smile going Clyde... all the best...
 

Brumby Jack

Steve Williams (59)
Staff member
If you see the pictures of where he was compared to where he is, you can see that he really worked hard at getting back into shape.

On the radio today he mentioned that the took nutrition and exercise seriously and if you didn't know that injury ended his playing career, he looks like he could take the field tomorrow.

Well done to him on having the courage to speak up.
 

Inside Shoulder

Nathan Sharpe (72)
Agree with everyone on here - I am a sufferer and like suckerforred it was untreated for 20 + years.
I try to be as open about it as possible because as she says you never know who it afflicts and its better to let everyone know there is help available by admitting to having it yourself.
 

kiap

Steve Williams (59)
Good luck to him. Credit for coming through his depression and telling the story for others.

If you see the pictures of where he was compared to where he is, you can see that he really worked hard at getting back into shape.

On the radio today he mentioned that the took nutrition and exercise seriously and if you didn't know that injury ended his playing career, he looks like he could take the field tomorrow.

b635fc518af6432c98c534dca4171f4d.jpg
 

Badger

Bill McLean (32)
Enjoyed watching him play and was sad to see his career cut short by injury.

Having had family that suffered the black dog, it's a horror for the sufferer and their family and friends as well. So I'm pleased to hear that he is winning his fight against it.
 
S

spooony

Guest
Swat, Paarl is bitter about all Saffers who leave SA. Seems he just can't get over it. We're all a bunch of turncoats as far as he's concerned.
Where is Rathbones family currently residing?
 
S

spooony

Guest
Not sure, don't care. Shouldn't even factor in this
Oh yes it does. Depression is a empty, lonely feeling as well as other feelings. Especially when you have no family or your parents nearby. Especially as our SA boys like our mommies and they are the ones that pulls a guy thru hard times.
 
S

spooony

Guest
Either way I'm sure he's got the love and support of his family
He still has to tell them! I mean in another country miles away from your family and no parents to help you thru such things and then the wife go leave you on top of that. I mean really its a wonder he didn't off himself and he got thru it.
 

Scarfman

Knitter of the Scarf
Hmm, Paarl. A bit harsh, mate, although I guess everyone's entitled to their opinion.

Do you really hate people that much just because they leave South Africa? Being born in a place doesn't lock you into some life-long contract. Half the world are emigrants - I'm one. My family did the chicken run from the Northern Ireland civil war.

Anyway, the serious point here is that a lot of men have to deal with depression and we all have our different ways of managing it. We should support whatever works for people. Les Murray wrote a book called Black Dog which might interest some people.
 

suckerforred

Chilla Wilson (44)
After the comments from PaarlBok and Spoony above I thought that I might give some insight from my side of the fence. Cultural differences respected. And this is probably going to be a little wandering and disjointed.

Depression is actually a chemical / hormone imbalance in the brain that is triggered by a lot of things including tramua, illness, and nothing. And I mean nothing. It is one of the least understood diseases of the human body, along with many other mental illnesses. My depressive episodes began when I was about 11. There are at least three 'causes' that I have been able to identify in my case, one which is a genitic hormone related illness that has made me more susceptable to the process and therefore a person who suffers depression. (The others you will have to get me very drunk to tell you.) Research has not yet clearly identified why several people can go through the same incidences and some come out the other side fine and others don't. I am guessing that what Clyde has said here is only a fraction of what happen to result in what he has gone through in his life. I know my mother, (I wasn't diognised until after my father died) doesn't know half the story.

After struggling through twenty years it eventually got to the stage that my engagement to a very understanding bloke collapsed. One of the things from this time that I clearly remember is being told that 'perhaps if I needed him more then it [the breakup] wouldn't have happened'. And that is one of the things that we [depressives] are very good at - hiding what is really going on in our head - until it is all to late. Hell, I held down a job as an ambo, and still am known to be extrodinarly calm in a crisis. When everything came to a head I could have quite happily taken my own life. Reasons behind this are wide and varied and would take more room then we have here. I can clearly remember it taking me about an hour to drive the 15 mins to work. Why - because every time I had a vehicle coming towards me I had to stop so that I did not drive into them. What stopped me - that fact that I knew there were ambos, firies, coppers, family and friends that just really didn't need me adding to their troubles. The shutting people out is something very real. I have no idea how many friends I have mislaid over the years just because I have shut myself off to the world.

The issues are wide and varied, and I am happy to answer any questions that people might want to ask. There are a few things that I would say... My experiences will / may be very different from many others. You can't just 'snap out of it'. Depression is not just being sad or upset about something, it is a real life threatning condition. A lot of the things above have developed as a defense against the people out there who tell you to 'suck it up and get over it', either actual or implied. We then start to believe that everything that we feel or do is undervalued and not worth mentioning or talking about. The vicisous circle then begins.

One good thing that has come out of this is that I can now recognise the condition in others. One of the advantages of being pedantic in educating yourself about wht is going on around you. I will tell you now that there is at least 3 of the current crop of Wallabies that, if they have not been diagnosed, have the potential to have a major depressive episode in their life. That is not going on statistics, that is going on my own observations and talking to them.

I have not proof read this so you will just have to cope with the mistakes in spelling and grammar. As I said happy to answer questions if anyone has any.
 
S

spooony

Guest
After the comments from PaarlBok and Spoony above I thought that I might give some insight from my side of the fence. Cultural differences respected. And this is probably going to be a little wandering and disjointed.

Depression is actually a chemical / hormone imbalance in the brain that is triggered by a lot of things including trauma, illness, and nothing. And I mean nothing. It is one of the least understood diseases of the human body, along with many other mental illnesses. My depressive episodes began when I was about 11. There are at least three 'causes' that I have been able to identify in my case, one which is a genetic hormone related illness that has made me more susceptible to the process and therefore a person who suffers depression. (The others you will have to get me very drunk to tell you.) Research has not yet clearly identified why several people can go through the same incidences and some come out the other side fine and others don't. I am guessing that what Clyde has said here is only a fraction of what happen to result in what he has gone through in his life. I know my mother, (I wasn't diagnosed until after my father died) doesn't know half the story.

After struggling through twenty years it eventually got to the stage that my engagement to a very understanding bloke collapsed. One of the things from this time that I clearly remember is being told that 'perhaps if I needed him more then it [the breakup] wouldn't have happened'. And that is one of the things that we [depressives] are very good at - hiding what is really going on in our head - until it is all to late. Hell, I held down a job as an ambo, and still am known to be extraordinary calm in a crisis. When everything came to a head I could have quite happily taken my own life. Reasons behind this are wide and varied and would take more room then we have here. I can clearly remember it taking me about an hour to drive the 15 mins to work. Why - because every time I had a vehicle coming towards me I had to stop so that I did not drive into them. What stopped me - that fact that I knew there were ambos, firies, coppers, family and friends that just really didn't need me adding to their troubles. The shutting people out is something very real. I have no idea how many friends I have mislaid over the years just because I have shut myself off to the world.

The issues are wide and varied, and I am happy to answer any questions that people might want to ask. There are a few things that I would say... My experiences will / may be very different from many others. You can't just 'snap out of it'. Depression is not just being sad or upset about something, it is a real life threatening condition. A lot of the things above have developed as a defense against the people out there who tell you to 'suck it up and get over it', either actual or implied. We then start to believe that everything that we feel or do is undervalued and not worth mentioning or talking about. The vicious circle then begins.

One good thing that has come out of this is that I can now recognize the condition in others. One of the advantages of being pedantic in educating yourself about what is going on around you. I will tell you now that there is at least 3 of the current crop of Wallabies that, if they have not been diagnosed, have the potential to have a major depressive episode in their life. That is not going on statistics, that is going on my own observations and talking to them.

I have not proof read this so you will just have to cope with the mistakes in spelling and grammar. As I said happy to answer questions if anyone has any.
Nice read mate.
Did I say something bad btw? It think he would have gotten through it if he had close family by.
I worked for 7 years as a detective and I know what stress and depression is all about. Carried 300 dockets bout 30 of them murder cases, new cases coming in court cases then brought forward dates with deadlines where they get inspected where they can give you a bad rep if it ain't up to scratch so I am not talking just out the air its what I went through as well.

Ps. I fixed some of your spelling errors
 

louie

Desmond Connor (43)
So he is acting like a typical spoiled brat. Maybe a good thing he chicken run to Aus. We all have to deal with depression.

This could be one of the ignorant and offensive things I've ever read. PaarlBox it takes more courage to talk about your problems then it does to cut someone down for doing so.

He did not mean it like it sounded or came out. Its just a cultural difference between us and you guys. Things like that is part of everyones life here and we are raised to get a grip grab your balls and toughen up basically. So it was not said with harmful intent.

Australia men are raised in the same way. Hence what makes this an act of courage, not of being a chicken.

I had much respect for Clyde before this, and now i have twice as more. Well down son, thanks for being a man about life's problems.
 
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