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Fake Twitter Feed.

Discussion in 'Rugby Discussion' started by Salad Fingers, Sep 18, 2011.

  1. Dismal Pillock Peter Sullivan (51)

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  2. Dismal Pillock Peter Sullivan (51)

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    Fuckin love this one. Perfectly dismal & miserable:
    https://twitter.com/NihilistLeBron
    although looks like a fairly finite narrative, might already be running out of puff...
  3. Dismal Pillock Peter Sullivan (51)

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    mst, waiopehu oldboy and Pfitzy like this.
  4. Pfitzy Tim Horan (67)

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    I'm going with the first one.
    Dismal Pillock likes this.
  5. Dismal Pillock Peter Sullivan (51)

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    yeah in hindsight that one was a bit rough, as usual I get all carried away with these things, go a bit too far, scoot straight over the no common sense cattlestop, and before I know it I’ve skated straight out into the open sightlined pastures, rogered all the livestock, blood everywhere, and later as the sun goes down on another foul gambit I’m left lying there in the muck wondering why my right hand smells a bit funny today.
    Tomikin, ChargerWA, mst and 2 others like this.
  6. Dismal Pillock Peter Sullivan (51)

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  7. Dismal Pillock Peter Sullivan (51)

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    currently working on exciting new site:

    [IMG]
    yourmatesam likes this.
  8. Dismal Pillock Peter Sullivan (51)

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    fucking WIX, driving me insane with their clicky clicky fucking drag and vanish software. managed to wade thru to completeion but it was not much rock and roll fun. Need to find a friendlier freebie template.
    ____________________________

    Has some bastard been giving you stick on the internet? Take it up with the ICIC (Independent Internet Citing Commission).

    **ON REPORT**

    https://internetcitingcomm.wixsite.com/onreportyoufluffybunny

    *:eek:ops, word censor, haha fluffybunny
    cyclopath and yourmatesam like this.
  9. cyclopath Phil Waugh (73)

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    Is this the guy?
    17028865.jpg
    yourmatesam and Dismal Pillock like this.
  10. Dismal Pillock Peter Sullivan (51)

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    Good choice!

    [IMG]
    "Sir, is that the absolute raging fuckwit you wish to place On Report? I commend you on your choice, please hold the line for extra free bonus dog-humping website links and complimentary half-licked dog treats."
    yourmatesam, USARugger and cyclopath like this.
  11. cyclopath Phil Waugh (73)

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  12. Dismal Pillock Peter Sullivan (51)

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    A Quick Guide To Using Twitter

    --by Mark Zuckerberg

    [IMG]
    "It's spelled t-w-i-t-t-e-r. One word."

    HI GUYS.

    Here is a brief primer on how to use twitter.

    Fill Out the Sign Up Form on Twitter's Home Page With ALL Of Your Personal Private Information.

    I cannot stress enough how imperative it is that you give us I mean them ALL of your personal and private information. It makes the job of the V2 algo harvest cylons so much easier. Or so I've heard.

    First, go to www.twitter.com and sign up entering your real name, real email address, real phone number and any other real information you can think of. Real blood type, real favourite cereal, real social security number. Everything. The more you tell us, I mean, tell them, the more popular and therefore happier you will be. That's basic twitter 101.

    After filling out your name, email, password, blood type, phone number, dick size, preferred tampon brand, shoe size, 1st alternate dick size, bumhole radius, dog's dick size, dog's girlfriend's bumhole radius and mum's shoe size then you click "Sign Up." We now have all your information. Thanks. I can't believe it was so easy. Again.

    [IMG]
    "Heyyy, thanks for signing up to twitter earlier today. Say, just briefly, you seem to have neglected to enter your dick size in any of the relevant fields? Just an oversight I'm sure. Soooo if we could have that rectified that'd be great. In inches would be fine. Doesn't have to be now. Unless you're not busy right now? Hey, I bet we're in double digits down there, eh, eh? OH COME ON, GIZZA LOOK."

    Choose Your Twitter Username;

    It's crucial you give Twitter your real name because Twitter is all about real people. Like me. I'm a real person. How could I not be? Haha! Ha.

    Real name. Do not deviate from this most basic tenet of twitter. It makes it so much easier for the Daewoo algo G-7 profile protocol generators to binarize your portfolio. Or so I've heard.

    Look at me, I signed up with my real name!

    [IMG]

    Except for the "finkd" part, which is uhh, my pseudonym.


    Fill Out Your Profile

    Your next step should be to fill out your personal profile in great detail, in great, great, GREAT detail, so we, I mean they, can tailor your internet experience to best meet your needs.

    All the shit you buy, toothpaste brands, cereal brands, tampons, shoe brands, tampons for your fucken dog, all that fascinatiing stuff that advertisers, I mean, twitter followers, love to read about, yeah, fill all that shit in, only a dumb fuck wouldn't. Also specify your country, your city, and, oh what the hell, your mailing address. We I mean twitter PROMISE they won't use any of this information for anything involving 3rd party sales to advertisers, Russians, or any combination thereof.

    Next, upload a full-face picture of yourself, preferably front-on as this aids the biometric analytica scanners in compiling an accurate file on oh shit never mind.

    Send Your First Tweet!

    This is what a tweet looks like.

    [IMG]

    It's all so fascinating and exciting.

    Thanks for your details I mean I hope these details assist you in your tweeting adventure.



    Your pal,

    -Zuck.

    [IMG]
    "No, there's two t's in the middle of 'twitter', you fat dickheads."
  13. Dismal Pillock Peter Sullivan (51)

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  14. waiopehu oldboy Tim Horan (67)

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    ^ practicing my radical intersectionalist poetry in the (history would suggest unlikely) event I should lose an avatar/ signature bet with your good self....
    Dismal Pillock likes this.
  15. Dismal Pillock Peter Sullivan (51)

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    One of these days I will win and you'll be lumped with;

    "On One Side of Foolscap Please Explain The Cantabs 1-Bro Backline Quota In The Voice of A Vegan BiCisGender Pansexual Otherkin."
  16. Dismal Pillock Peter Sullivan (51)

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    dumped all 7 of my twitter accounts.

    Face first in the wood chipper. the whole lot.

    Never could get get a handle on the twatsphere. The "threads" arent actually threads to me. They're there one minute then wft where did the c**t go, oh well, it's gone, fuckit, scroll on. On twitter it all seems so fleeting. You hammer out some shit then the next day you start again, your previous endeavors having been washed out with the tide. Conversely, the basic forii has threads that you can come back to fucken YEARS later and pick up right where some shrieking nutjob left off. So great.

    Plus, if you have a look around the twatsphere there is so much seppo-centric sanctimony. Sanctimony? On twitter? The fuck is wrong with you? That's like shrieking to the rafters about someone's smelly farts as you stroll through the local goddamn abattoir. Before hitching their little remonstration cabooses to the Sanctimony Express, departing from all points of interest here, here, here and here, those PC woke SJW sorts better have their closets in order. You can see half of fucken Narnia from the back of my closet so no fucken judgment from this end.

    In Executive Summary, twitter reads like such a miserable spermbank of funless whinging tryhards. "Oh fuck, look at me, pleaaaesse, i'm so depressed look at me. Insert passive aggressive tweetbait, wahhh, pleassse click 'like' on my pithy one-sentence whinge of wisdom-wank or I'll fucken top myself, wah, wah."

    Plus, in Secondary Executive Summary, to state the stark-raving bleeding obvious, twitter has utterly killed the foriisphere. The rapacious hordes are now enamoured and captivated with twitters potential to interact with celebs. That po-tential stardust is not happening at the millions and millions of sad little circled-wagon forus fiefdoms.
    People that enjoy twitter would rightfully think "why bother going back to some saddo 20-person message board when I can go right up to Beyonce's keyboard and yell shit at her? Plus, why prostrate myself at the mercy of some gestapo forum mods again, circa 00-10? How many power-trippin little weiner milk monitors goose-stepping up and down the halls of twitter? FUCK-ALL."

    I still prefer the forii though. Twitter is like the hallmark cards of needy self-obsessed sooks. "Oh shit, I didn't get a 'like' for my post, I am garbage, everybody hates me, I am worthless." It's reducing its denizens into paranoid 12-year old girls. Just one big morass of desperate keelhauling to dredge up some self-validation while vaingloriously hoping some semblance of the feelgood fuzz wends its way up to your salty barren maidenhead.
    yourmatesam, Silverado and jimmydubs like this.
  17. Mr Wobbly Colin Windon (37)

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