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Golf

boyo

Mark Ella (57)
Fro the "only in America" files:-

I give you "Bubba Watson".

What was he thinking with that nickname?
 

cyclopath

George Smith (75)
Staff member
You mean what was his father thinking - he nicknamed him after an NFL player. Good Southern lad.
 

Braveheart81

Will Genia (78)
Staff member
I like that he celebrated his Masters win by going to eat at Waffle House.

bubba-watson-left-a-148-tip-at-waffle-house-after-winning-the-masters.jpg
 

Dismal Pillock

Simon Poidevin (60)
the virus charity thing on CNN, Tiger and Manning vs Tom Brady and Mickelson, was it just me or did Tiger have his mic switched off for the whole thing? It was supposed to be a fun televised frolic for charity you aloof dickhead. The other 3 were all yapping non-stop, Mickelsen talking Brady through most of his upcoming shots, and there you were this grim reaper bolting around in your cart just trying to get it over with. What a soulless cockhead.

holy shit though, is that Medalist golf course hard. You stray off the fairway and instantly you are in goddamn Borneo.
 

Up the Guts

Steve Williams (59)
the virus charity thing on CNN, Tiger and Manning vs Tom Brady and Mickelson, was it just me or did Tiger have his mic switched off for the whole thing? It was supposed to be a fun televised frolic for charity you aloof dickhead. The other 3 were all yapping non-stop, Mickelsen talking Brady through most of his upcoming shots, and there you were this grim reaper bolting around in your cart just trying to get it over with. What a soulless cockhead.

holy shit though, is that Medalist golf course hard. You stray off the fairway and instantly you are in goddamn Borneo.
Yep, Tiger is pretty awful in these public access events. He either says nothing or if he's hosting a clinic he spends most of the time recreating some impossible shot he made which is of no value to any amateur.

Lucky Phil always turns it on for the cameras or it would have been pretty miserable. Particularly, with Brady being completely abysmal.
 

Dismal Pillock

Simon Poidevin (60)
Like how the fairway will have a wide open bulging area where the top players can softly land their majestic 300 yard drives in different areas, in order to choose their angle of approach to the green..... yet from the tee there is 200 yards of tussock to just get to the fairway. Absolutely ZERO concession given to an average golfer. They may as well put a sign up "LOL, if you can't hit a ball 150 yards off the tee, and in the air, you may as well try throwing the fucking thing. You useless prick."

Lucky Phil always turns it on for the cameras or it would have been pretty miserable.
had no idea about Mickelsen but he seems a real fun hustler type of dude. Hope he's trash talked Tiger in the past, "you sure you're black? Cos you seem more uptight than any white man I've ever met on a goddamn golf course."
 

cyclopath

George Smith (75)
Staff member
Like how the fairway will have a wide open bulging area where the top players can softly land their majestic 300 yard drives in different areas, in order to choose their angle of approach to the green... yet from the tee there is 200 yards of tussock to just get to the fairway. Absolutely ZERO concession given to an average golfer. They may as well put a sign up "LOL, if you can't hit a ball 150 yards off the tee, and in the air, you may as well try throwing the fucking thing. You useless prick."


had no idea about Mickelsen but he seems a real fun hustler type of dude. Hope he's trash talked Tiger in the past, "you sure you're black? Cos you seem more uptight than any white man I've ever met on a goddamn golf course."
My home course has a gazillion bunkers, and when the pros play there, they can't understand why they've made it so hard for an average golfer. Most of the hazards for them are just aiming points to fly over. One told me he'd never seen a course so set up to fuck the members!
 

Braveheart81

Will Genia (78)
Staff member
My home course has a gazillion bunkers, and when the pros play there, they can't understand why they've made it so hard for an average golfer. Most of the hazards for them are just aiming points to fly over. One told me he'd never seen a course so set up to fuck the members!


You're forgetting that a significant element of golf is that it's meant to be frustrating and fuel self-loathing.

That's what keeps people playing week after week, year after year.

If it wasn't difficult and you didn't lose your touch pretty quickly after a break of playing then people would play far less frequently!
 

cyclopath

George Smith (75)
Staff member
You're forgetting that a significant element of golf is that it's meant to be frustrating and fuel self-loathing.

That's what keeps people playing week after week, year after year.

If it wasn't difficult and you didn't lose your touch pretty quickly after a break of playing then people would play far less frequently!
NO, I'm well aware of its siren call.
200w.gif
 

Dismal Pillock

Simon Poidevin (60)
My home course has a gazillion bunkers, and when the pros play there, they can't understand why they've made it so hard for an average golfer.

Some of those tiny bunkers today were just randomly vicious. Narrow little green then some huge off-green area with short grass then hello, some idiotic 2 metre wide shallow bunker halfway off to the next tee. I reckon the wildlife claw shit up overnight and staff think fuckit, just cover it up with some sand, we'll call it our art.

The rough though, holy shit, so wild how one metre off strolling a perfect baize fairway you are suddenly fighting for your life in a Sumatran jungle.
 

Up the Guts

Steve Williams (59)
They moved some of the tees back for Phil and Tiger so that its unofficial slope rating put it as the second hardest course in the world.

The most frustrating thing as an amateur is seeing a reasonable shot being punished. Hitting the green in regulation on some of the sand belt courses in Melbourne only for your ball to trickle into some hell hole bunker just gets tiresome.
 

cyclopath

George Smith (75)
Staff member
They moved some of the tees back for Phil and Tiger so that its unofficial slope rating put it as the second hardest course in the world.

The most frustrating thing as an amateur is seeing a reasonable shot being punished. Hitting the green in regulation on some of the sand belt courses in Melbourne only for your ball to trickle into some hell hole bunker just gets tiresome.
Late last year I played Ko'olau on Oahu. Its unofficial slope rating is 158, and it was rated at one time the hardest course in the world, I believe. We weren't off the tips but it's mostly fairway, very little rough then Jurassic Park jungle (yes, they did film some of the jungle footage around there, apparently). Stunning but bloody hard.
 

Up the Guts

Steve Williams (59)
Late last year I played Ko'olau on Oahu. Its unofficial slope rating is 158, and it was rated at one time the hardest course in the world, I believe. We weren't off the tips but it's mostly fairway, very little rough then Jurassic Park jungle (yes, they did film some of the jungle footage around there, apparently). Stunning but bloody hard.
I was completely emancipated by the wind at Barnbougle in Tassie pre 'Rona. I'm convinced the ~100m par 3 7th on the Dunes would have been unplayable for any golfer in the world given the gale.

The worst about thing about playing in the wind with a few groups is that there's inevitably one bloke in another group who manages to make hay on the downwind holes and scrape his way through the rest of the holes. Then you get back to the clubhouse and have to hear the heroics of how he "just kept it low" and "took his medicine".
 

cyclopath

George Smith (75)
Staff member
I was completely emancipated by the wind at Barnbougle in Tassie pre 'Rona. I'm convinced the ~100m par 3 7th on the Dunes would have been unplayable for any golfer in the world given the gale.

The worst about thing about playing in the wind with a few groups is that there's inevitably one bloke in another group who manages to make hay on the downwind holes and scrape his way through the rest of the holes. Then you get back to the clubhouse and have to hear the heroics of how he "just kept it low" and "took his medicine".

I aint that guy. Played in 70kmh + at times yesterday. Yes, downwind was good for the ego - couple of 280m + drives. Only one I kept low all day was driver off the deck into the wind (desperation stakes at that point). It was a weird round. Barnbougle and Lost Farm are great, but the wind is challenging.
 

cyclopath

George Smith (75)
Staff member
Jesus, my stupid computer settings, my formal invite must've gone straight to my spam folder.

This reads as kind of racist but I'll give you the benefit of the doubt just this once.
Weird. This Trevor guy turned up claiming he was invited. We got the guys who entertained Allenby to escort him away. Might want to check your Gunston-Tech Firewall.
 

Dismal Pillock

Simon Poidevin (60)
Somehow ended up on the golf channel in time to watch Lydia Ko's final round en route to a resounding victory after a winless 3 years.

J-sports channels show a LOT of golf. But never men's golf. Only women's golf. Why is that? Women do not watch women's golf on TV. Who watches? Men. And it's not for the golf.

I think you know where I am going with this by now.

Men like watching women. They don't give a fuck what they're doing. And women's golf is all tight white trousers and bending over in pastel mini skirts. See the camera focus on the woman from behind as she focusses on her putt. The ball and the hole are but a secondary concern to the male viewers gaze. Is she under par? Over par? Peripheral concerns as we follow her shape slowly bending and contorting here and there around the golf course. It's a free licence to perv and there is nowhere for the woman to go. In fact, she has willingly put herself in this position. See her bend righhhhhht over to pluck her ball out of the stupid hole, in turn almost exposing her undergarments as her miniskirt rides up. This is a highlight of women's golf.

tl/dr women's golf is softcore porn for the male gaze of the Japanese cable subscriber.
 
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