NZ's Pregnant Prime Minister Finds Work Sub --NZ Herald--With New Zealand's pregnant Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern set for maternity leave the question is, who will run the country while she is incapacitated with her birth-hatch shits and struggles and fart bubbles? In something of a break from political protocol, Ardern's boyfriend Clarke Gayford has said he will "fill in for her at work.""No, for the 10th time, his name is Gayford but he is not fucking gay. You deaf c**ts. For fucks sake he just rooted me up the shitter this morning. Twice. Hang on... maybe that means he is gay. Fuck. No further comment. Um, Clarke, a word..."Mr Gayford seemed fairly nonplussed over the responsibility of taking over a nation. "Yeah it'll get me out of the bloody house. Away from all that shrieking nappie-faced ruckus. The idea of babies sounds a bit demonic to me, all that screaming and shitting and wailing and 'me-bloody-first' theatrics. Plus it'd get me some precious time away from Princess Goebbels Mussolini there, barking her post natally depressed nuts off at me. It'll be easier running the fucken country. I mean what is there to do? We've got the world's 805th biggest economy. Fuck-all happens. Just make sure there's enough pies at the petrol stations and the rugby telecasts pop up on time. Righto."