waiopehu oldboy
Stirling Mortlock (74)
TDH is definately Top-5 material but do yourself a favour & watch FMJ next then advise whether you're Pvt Joker, Pvt Cowboy or Pvt Animal Mother........... just please don't be Pvt Joker's CO
TDH is definately Top-5 material but do yourself a favour & watch FMJ next then advise whether you're Pvt Joker, Pvt Cowboy or Pvt Animal Mother........... just please don't be Pvt Joker's CO
Dismal Pillock
Simon Poidevin (60)
Not much on all them miserable blood and gore war films but I will say this: "Tropic Thunder" is the single greatest war film ever made. It has everything. Blood, death, mud, jungle, bushes, death, ammunition, bullets, soaring string moments and bad guys.
In summary, everything required of the modern day war film.
In summary, everything required of the modern day war film.
waiopehu oldboy
Stirling Mortlock (74)
I've had three or four goes at Interstellar & currently watching Inception. Both make my head hurt but I'm convinced that Nolan is the guy who should not so much remake 2001:ASO as use the last 10min of it as a jumping-off point.
@Dismal I'm not that into parodies but, yeah, Thunder is one've the best, esp like Tom Cruise's Les Grossman character, it's like his Olivier's Hamlet role.
@Dismal I'm not that into parodies but, yeah, Thunder is one've the best, esp like Tom Cruise's Les Grossman character, it's like his Olivier's Hamlet role.
For those folk with people at home that like Vampire/Warewolf/Zombie genre movies like "Twilight", and "vampire diaries", you should have a go at watching "What We Do in the Shadows" which is on Foxtel at the moment.
Dismal Pillock
Simon Poidevin (60)
Watched all 4 Bourne films over 2 nights.
Being the anti-auteur thicky I am, it wasn’t til halfway thru the newest one that I realized all 4 films have an identical template. From start to finish. They just plug in the new car chase/CIA office chick who is a bit of a baddie and at the same time a bit of a goodie/ Bourne using earpiece to talk latest plugged-in fall guy thru crowded thoroughfare/arse-covering boss who’s really an uber baddie.
New one is a bit shit really. Despite all the insanely hectic thrilling action you get a bit inured to it, ooh, the camera is all shakey, shakey again. This is the action part! Was half waiting for it to end. 56% at rotten tomatoes. Some bloke near the end says to James Bourned “you’ve killed 32 people” presumably over his whole career as an assassin, in all 4 films. Well guess what, that CIA asset on Bourne’s arse casually popped off half that number of good guys with his silencered gun in the span of about 10 fucking minutes. He did not give a single shit. Hates Bourne for “compromising” precious CIA agents in the field…… then casually kills all the CIA guys en route to escaping casino and just prior to driving a SWAT truck thru some old ladies face as she sits at the pokey machine.
Who writes this shit?
And the mega car chase with CIA man’s commandeered SWAT truck? Must’ve killed at least a hundred innocent commuters there. Just bowled right the fuck through those Sunday driving motherfuckers. “Out of my way, I must avenge the man who compromised precious CIA agents in the field….. uhh, yes, I confess after I killed his fucking father. Um, hold on, why am I doing this again? Anyway, you are blocking my justice rampage to nowhere for no one and for this you shall die as my very recently commandeered SWAT truck crushes you for no discernible reason other than oohh, big movie car chase major motion picture action.”
Being the anti-auteur thicky I am, it wasn’t til halfway thru the newest one that I realized all 4 films have an identical template. From start to finish. They just plug in the new car chase/CIA office chick who is a bit of a baddie and at the same time a bit of a goodie/ Bourne using earpiece to talk latest plugged-in fall guy thru crowded thoroughfare/arse-covering boss who’s really an uber baddie.
New one is a bit shit really. Despite all the insanely hectic thrilling action you get a bit inured to it, ooh, the camera is all shakey, shakey again. This is the action part! Was half waiting for it to end. 56% at rotten tomatoes. Some bloke near the end says to James Bourned “you’ve killed 32 people” presumably over his whole career as an assassin, in all 4 films. Well guess what, that CIA asset on Bourne’s arse casually popped off half that number of good guys with his silencered gun in the span of about 10 fucking minutes. He did not give a single shit. Hates Bourne for “compromising” precious CIA agents in the field…… then casually kills all the CIA guys en route to escaping casino and just prior to driving a SWAT truck thru some old ladies face as she sits at the pokey machine.
Who writes this shit?
And the mega car chase with CIA man’s commandeered SWAT truck? Must’ve killed at least a hundred innocent commuters there. Just bowled right the fuck through those Sunday driving motherfuckers. “Out of my way, I must avenge the man who compromised precious CIA agents in the field….. uhh, yes, I confess after I killed his fucking father. Um, hold on, why am I doing this again? Anyway, you are blocking my justice rampage to nowhere for no one and for this you shall die as my very recently commandeered SWAT truck crushes you for no discernible reason other than oohh, big movie car chase major motion picture action.”
Dismal Pillock
Simon Poidevin (60)
X-Men Apocalypse (2016)
10/10
Not much of a movie guy. Don't know shit from shinola. The worst cross-eyed bogshit sentence ever arrythmically wedged into the worst book ever written is still better than the greatest film ever made. In fact the word "a" flukily scrawled by a dyslexic dog's tail in a trail of its own piss at night in the rain is still greater than the "greatest" film ever made. Films are little more than moving postcards being thrown in your face for 2 hours. An insulting medium spoonfeeding nothing to where there could be something.
That said, I give this film 10/10 even though it’s only at 48% on Rotten Tomatoes. Fussy spoilt bastards. What do they want, the moon on a stick? It’s got fancy special FX and shooting fire and flashing lights and shit! If I was an 11-year old boy I would drizzle my load watching this. As it is, I am 14 and still consider myself Very Impressed. Really though, as an old git who has only been to the Lido twice this century, I just sit there and marvel at the flashing lights and flying contraptions. Hugh Jackman was shoehorned in for about two violent speechless minutes. WFT. I thought it was his franchise? Contractual obligation? The all action 5-minute intro was probably the greatest thing I’ve ever seen and must’ve cost NZ’s GDP. They built a whole pyramid and then knocked it down! Sad! And expensive! Story? Dialogue? Whatever. Don’t need it. Some dude just used eye-powered laser fire to burn a motherfucking tree in half. Do you know how much that must’ve cost? Trees don’t grow on tr oh shit
10/10
Not much of a movie guy. Don't know shit from shinola. The worst cross-eyed bogshit sentence ever arrythmically wedged into the worst book ever written is still better than the greatest film ever made. In fact the word "a" flukily scrawled by a dyslexic dog's tail in a trail of its own piss at night in the rain is still greater than the "greatest" film ever made. Films are little more than moving postcards being thrown in your face for 2 hours. An insulting medium spoonfeeding nothing to where there could be something.
That said, I give this film 10/10 even though it’s only at 48% on Rotten Tomatoes. Fussy spoilt bastards. What do they want, the moon on a stick? It’s got fancy special FX and shooting fire and flashing lights and shit! If I was an 11-year old boy I would drizzle my load watching this. As it is, I am 14 and still consider myself Very Impressed. Really though, as an old git who has only been to the Lido twice this century, I just sit there and marvel at the flashing lights and flying contraptions. Hugh Jackman was shoehorned in for about two violent speechless minutes. WFT. I thought it was his franchise? Contractual obligation? The all action 5-minute intro was probably the greatest thing I’ve ever seen and must’ve cost NZ’s GDP. They built a whole pyramid and then knocked it down! Sad! And expensive! Story? Dialogue? Whatever. Don’t need it. Some dude just used eye-powered laser fire to burn a motherfucking tree in half. Do you know how much that must’ve cost? Trees don’t grow on tr oh shit
Dismal Pillock
Simon Poidevin (60)
Suicide Squad.
12%
Channel surfed across this one, hey wasn’t this famous, so gave it a burl. First thing I notice is that the dialogue seems to have been written by a disgruntled & gimpy 12-year old girl with no friends. Except that one “cool” girl who she thinks is her friend but she’s actually really fucking not.
The pacing of the film and “scene placement” (technical term) makes it almost imaginable where the director said “cut, that’s a wrap!, holy shit this cartoon shithole of a film is so goddamn awesome, I luv u all!” It just chops around from battle to battle then it ends. RT gives this film 25% but I give it 12%. And all 12 of those points are for the blue spangly hot pants. Like a filthy old lech I just followed that tiny band of cloth around for the entire film. Marveled at it. Sought it out in my hour of need, my sequined solace as this shithole of a film lurched to and fro from embarrassingly juvenile talky talk bit to flashy flashy lighty lighty shooty shooty bit before ending with the obligatory set-up for the sequel.
12%
Channel surfed across this one, hey wasn’t this famous, so gave it a burl. First thing I notice is that the dialogue seems to have been written by a disgruntled & gimpy 12-year old girl with no friends. Except that one “cool” girl who she thinks is her friend but she’s actually really fucking not.
The pacing of the film and “scene placement” (technical term) makes it almost imaginable where the director said “cut, that’s a wrap!, holy shit this cartoon shithole of a film is so goddamn awesome, I luv u all!” It just chops around from battle to battle then it ends. RT gives this film 25% but I give it 12%. And all 12 of those points are for the blue spangly hot pants. Like a filthy old lech I just followed that tiny band of cloth around for the entire film. Marveled at it. Sought it out in my hour of need, my sequined solace as this shithole of a film lurched to and fro from embarrassingly juvenile talky talk bit to flashy flashy lighty lighty shooty shooty bit before ending with the obligatory set-up for the sequel.
The Honey Badger
Jim Lenehan (48)
Sweet Country
Great Oz movie. Make the effort while it's still on the big screen.
It stays with you for days.
Sent from my MHA-L09 using Tapatalk
Great Oz movie. Make the effort while it's still on the big screen.
It stays with you for days.
Sent from my MHA-L09 using Tapatalk
Dismal Pillock
Simon Poidevin (60)
Reviewe Of A Filme I Only Watched 30 Minutes Of:
The Hours (2003)
Star studded cast, Meryl Streep, some other famous women, Ed Harris, Nicole Kidman winning an Oscar, and yet I only lasted 30 minutes as this film is to entertainment what Amazon fires are to sunbathing near mixed metaphors; the opposite of entertaining.
The target market for this filme would have to be 58-year old women. Me willingly watching Meryl Streep giddily browsing a flower store may have been the peak mega-cuck moment of my entire life. I think I need to watch Fast and Furious 7 or some nonsense to redumb my brain into the mega major motion picture goodies and baddies paradigme.
The Hours (2003)
Star studded cast, Meryl Streep, some other famous women, Ed Harris, Nicole Kidman winning an Oscar, and yet I only lasted 30 minutes as this film is to entertainment what Amazon fires are to sunbathing near mixed metaphors; the opposite of entertaining.
The target market for this filme would have to be 58-year old women. Me willingly watching Meryl Streep giddily browsing a flower store may have been the peak mega-cuck moment of my entire life. I think I need to watch Fast and Furious 7 or some nonsense to redumb my brain into the mega major motion picture goodies and baddies paradigme.
Dismal Pillock
Simon Poidevin (60)
Revenant. (SPOIOLER)
42%
Took me 3 goes of channel surfing to finally knuckle down and watch this miserable wilderness porn through to its gnarled conclusionne. FFS, DiCaprio gets the Oscar for this? He barely even said anything for the whole 8-hour film! Just groaning as he dragged himself through the snow towards fuck knows where!
The first hour of this filme was just depressing as hell. Nope, not watching this depressing, cold, wet, dirty, unitelligible shit. Change channel. If I wanted that experience I'd just go outside and fall over. The "survival" types would have a massive tug but grisly Nat Geo pioneer porn don't entertain me.
On the positive side, the scenery looked nice and the camera work was ace. Plus something did make me channel surf back to the fucker to see the 7th and 8th hours.
Did Lenny make a deal with the Oscar committee? Wouldnt surprise me. "Ok arseholes, I am going to roll around in the wet snow and do grotty shit and get dirty but you MUST reward my personal physical sacrifice with a motherfucking Oscar. It's my turn you dickheads."
42%
Took me 3 goes of channel surfing to finally knuckle down and watch this miserable wilderness porn through to its gnarled conclusionne. FFS, DiCaprio gets the Oscar for this? He barely even said anything for the whole 8-hour film! Just groaning as he dragged himself through the snow towards fuck knows where!
The first hour of this filme was just depressing as hell. Nope, not watching this depressing, cold, wet, dirty, unitelligible shit. Change channel. If I wanted that experience I'd just go outside and fall over. The "survival" types would have a massive tug but grisly Nat Geo pioneer porn don't entertain me.
On the positive side, the scenery looked nice and the camera work was ace. Plus something did make me channel surf back to the fucker to see the 7th and 8th hours.
Did Lenny make a deal with the Oscar committee? Wouldnt surprise me. "Ok arseholes, I am going to roll around in the wet snow and do grotty shit and get dirty but you MUST reward my personal physical sacrifice with a motherfucking Oscar. It's my turn you dickheads."
Tex
Greg Davis (50)
Hereditary
Fucked. Unsettling. Scary. I live with a horror movie buff and have a few others in the same friendship circle and this is the one film that has got under their skin. Toni Colette is fantastic, as always. You know the film is going to pull no punches when you see a young girl dismembered in the first 30 minutes. Pretty traumatic viewing, but a top-tier horror/psych thriller if that's your thing.
Fucked. Unsettling. Scary. I live with a horror movie buff and have a few others in the same friendship circle and this is the one film that has got under their skin. Toni Colette is fantastic, as always. You know the film is going to pull no punches when you see a young girl dismembered in the first 30 minutes. Pretty traumatic viewing, but a top-tier horror/psych thriller if that's your thing.
Tex
Greg Davis (50)
Joker was pretty grim imo. I wasn't in the best of moods going into the cinema, so perhaps that's clouded my perception, but the origin story of a character beset by mental illness was never going to be rosy.
Joaquin Phoenix is fantastic.
The violence is more graphic than earlier franchise examples, and the film lacked any of the camp superhero plotlines or characters that leaven the Nolan movies. Joker is all nihilism and misery.
Joaquin Phoenix is fantastic.
The violence is more graphic than earlier franchise examples, and the film lacked any of the camp superhero plotlines or characters that leaven the Nolan movies. Joker is all nihilism and misery.
Dismal Pillock
Simon Poidevin (60)
The Great Wall (2017)
Awww. So Cute. Matt Damon got his very own Waterworld.
This epic, sprawling kiln-glazed dungfelch of a major motion picture took 7 YEARS to make. Not 7 weeks. Not 7 months. 7 FUCKING YEARS. Poor old Matty had to go back and forth to China for 7 fucken years. And live there for 6 months solid at one stage. And for what? 36% on RT and gaijin and chinese alike saying "this film is a fucken embarrassing piece of shit." $150 million up in smoke.
Like everyone I could tell this film would be bullshit after all of about 2 minutes. Was it targeting the chinamens market by taking itself so fucken seriously? I know the average chinaman gets so much state-maximed patriotic fervour pounded down his one-eye he pisses 180 proof solipsism but ffs. They must like SOME moments of fun and levity amidst the self-congratulatory back-patting. Yes, yes, we get it, your history is #1 and oh-so-fucking awesome and legendary and mythical but all the colour-coordinated battle armor in Satan's black universe couldnt make me sit through 3 hours of that "fuck we are awesome" dogma tarted up as "entertainment". I lasted 20 minutes. Matt Damon may as well have been the Madame Tussauds version of himself.
Fuck China.
Awww. So Cute. Matt Damon got his very own Waterworld.
This epic, sprawling kiln-glazed dungfelch of a major motion picture took 7 YEARS to make. Not 7 weeks. Not 7 months. 7 FUCKING YEARS. Poor old Matty had to go back and forth to China for 7 fucken years. And live there for 6 months solid at one stage. And for what? 36% on RT and gaijin and chinese alike saying "this film is a fucken embarrassing piece of shit." $150 million up in smoke.
Like everyone I could tell this film would be bullshit after all of about 2 minutes. Was it targeting the chinamens market by taking itself so fucken seriously? I know the average chinaman gets so much state-maximed patriotic fervour pounded down his one-eye he pisses 180 proof solipsism but ffs. They must like SOME moments of fun and levity amidst the self-congratulatory back-patting. Yes, yes, we get it, your history is #1 and oh-so-fucking awesome and legendary and mythical but all the colour-coordinated battle armor in Satan's black universe couldnt make me sit through 3 hours of that "fuck we are awesome" dogma tarted up as "entertainment". I lasted 20 minutes. Matt Damon may as well have been the Madame Tussauds version of himself.
Fuck China.
Teh Other Dave
Alan Cameron (40)
I hope Shinzo is allowing NZ consular access to DP,and providing him with two buckets and a mop.
DP if you can read this, blink twice. We're sending our finest crew of piano removalists. We don't have the budget to get you to Beirut, but hopefully Punchbowl's ok.
Teh Other Dave
Alan Cameron (40)
Rochelle, Rochelle (1992)
I was shoehorned into seeing this, worst $98 I ever spent. The movie moves back and forth between Italy and newly independent Ukraine, and the plot and dialogue jump around like the locations. The Broadway musical was meant to be ok though. Should have seen checkmate instead.
2/10.
I was shoehorned into seeing this, worst $98 I ever spent. The movie moves back and forth between Italy and newly independent Ukraine, and the plot and dialogue jump around like the locations. The Broadway musical was meant to be ok though. Should have seen checkmate instead.
2/10.
Dismal Pillock
Simon Poidevin (60)
Bugger me, did you buy the original reels or something?