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Worthwhile quotes

Discussion in 'Everything Else' started by Cutter, Dec 11, 2011.

  1. Inside Shoulder Nathan Sharpe (72)

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    Casey Stengel: “The secret of managing is to keep the guys who hate you away from the guys who are undecided.”

    Blanton Collier: “You can accomplish anything you want as long as you don’t care who gets the credit for it.”
  2. spooony Ron Walden (29)

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    WTF was that? Mayor of Horisjima
    Where did all this fucking water come from? Captain of Titanic
    Is that a real fucking gun? John Lennon

    "The speed of sound is defined by the distance from door to computer divided by the time interval needed to close the media player and pull up your pants when your mom shouts 'OH MY GOD WHAT ARE YOU DOING'."

    "Did you ever notice that everyone in favour of birth control has already been born ?" — Benny Hill.
    "1f y0u c4n r34d 7h15, y0u r34||y n33d 70 637 |41d."
    "I rigged my cellular to send a message to my PDA, which is online with my PC, to get it to activate the voicemail, which sends the message to the inbox of my email, which routes it to the PDA, which beams it back to the cellular. Then I realized my gadgets have a better social life than I do !" — Tom Ostad.

    "Remember when.? A computer was something on TV from a science fiction show. A window was something you hated to clean and RAM was the cousin of a goat. Meg was the name of my girlfriend and gig was your middle finger upright. Now they all mean different things and that really mega bytes. An application was for employment. A program was a TV show. A cursor used profanity. A keyboard was a piano. Memory was something that you lost with age. A CD was a bank account. And if you had a 3 1/2" floppy you hoped that nobody found out. Compress was something you did to the garbage not something you did to a file. And if you unzipped anything in public you'd be in jail for awhile. Log on was adding wood to the fire. Hard drive was a long trip on the road. A mouse pad was where a mouse lived and a backup happened to your commode. Cut you did with a pocket knife. Paste you did with glue. A web was a spider's home and a virus was the flu. I guess I'll stick to my pad and paper and the memory in my head. I hear nobody's been killed in a computer crash but when it happens they wish they were dead !"

    "These security related updates may disable your ability to copy and/or play Secure Content and use other software on your computer." — From the EULA of a 'security update' to Windows Media Player.

    "DOS computers manufactured by companies such as IBM, Compaq, Tandy, and millions of others are by far the most popular, with about 70 million machines in use worldwide. Macintosh fans, on the other hand, may note that cockroaches are far more numerous than humans, and that numbers alone do not denote a higher life form." — New York Times, November 26, 1991.

    "I've discovered that people on IRC don't get offended or riled up by racism, nor politically incorrect jokes, nor feminism, nazism, nor goatse, or even tubgirl, not even jokes about 9/11 get a rise out of anybody but as soon as I tell somebody that macs are better than PCs, things get ugly." — Ich

    Found this

  3. Bruwheresmycar Nicholas Shehadie (39)

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    "If a human disagrees with you, let him live. In a hundred billion galaxies, you will not find another." - Carl Sagan
    Cutter likes this.
  4. Guy Frank Nicholson (4)

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    For the global warming debate.
    (only serves to fuel the fire for both parties!)
    In science, 'fact' can only mean 'confirmed to such a degree that it would be perverse to withhold provisional assent.' I suppose that apples might start to rise tomorrow, but the possibility does not merit equal time in physics classrooms.
    - Stephen Jay Gould

    Whether you think you can or whether you think you can't, you're right!
    - Henry Ford

    Have the courage to be ignorant of a great number of things, in order to avoid the calamity of being ignorant of everything.
    - Sydney Smith

    "Trust your hunches. They're usually based on facts filed away just below the conscious level."

    – Dr. Joyce Brothers

    There is no stigma attached to recognizing a bad decision in time to install a better one.
    - Laurence J. Peter

    Try not to become a man of success, but rather try to become a man of value.
    - Einstein

    The great enemy of clear language is insincerity. When there is a gap between one's real and one's declared aims, one turns as it were instinctively to long words and exhausted idioms, like a cuttlefish spurting out ink.
    - George Orwell

    Man is the only animal that laughs and weeps, for he is the only animal that is struck with the difference between what things are and what they ought to be.
    - William Hazlitt

    If you can do a half-assed job of anything, you're a one-eyed man in a kingdom of the blind.
    - Kurt Vonnegut

    and most importantly, humour

    Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.
    - Groucho Marx

    Cricket is quite simple.
    You have two sides, ours and theirs,
    one out in the field and one in.
    Each man in the side that’s in goes out, and when he is out, he comes in,
    and the next man goes out.
    Then when they have all been in and are all out,
    the side that’s been in the field comes in
    and the side that’s been in goes out,
    and tries to get those out coming in.
    Sometimes you get men still in and not out.
    Then when both sides have been in and out,
    including not outs,
    that’s the end of the game.
    Its really very simple.
    - uncertain

    "There are 10 types of people in the world. those who understand binary and those who don't."
    - unknown

    "I heard about this guy who broke into a lion's den at the zoo and got mauled and people were talking about how there should have been better defences put up to prevent people getting into the cage. A friend of mine suggested setting up some kind of deterrent, for example, putting some sort of fierce animal in the cage, which would attack anybody who climbed in"
  5. suckerforred Chilla Wilson (44)

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    "Out wide, keep an eye on Fijian winger and marquee import Napolioni Nalaga. He is a former French player of the year built like a tank and moves like a Porsche." Iain Payten

    Just found this a nice description.
  6. spooony Ron Walden (29)

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    Approximately 80% of our air pollution stems from hydrocarbons released by vegetation, so let's not go overboard in setting and enforcing tough emissions standards from man-made sources." — Ronald Reagan (1988—2004)
    "Global Warming, Agrarian Society, Nuclear Energy. Pick One."
    "Environmentalists are a socialist group of individuals that are the tool of the Democrat Party. I'm proud to say that they are my enemy. They are not Americans, never have been Americans, never will be Americans." — Don Young.
    "We don't have to protect the environment — the Second Coming is at hand." — James Watt.
    "God gave us the earth. We have dominion over the plants, the animals, the trees. God said, 'Earth is yours. Take it. Rape it. It's yours.'" — Ann Coulter.
    Growth for the sake of growth is the ideology of the cancer cell."
    "If I have my way, I'm going to dissolve the Forest Service. They're in the business of harvesting trees and they're not harvesting trees, so why have them anymore ?" — Don Young.

    "SUPERCOMPUTER: what it sounded like before you bought it."
    "Computers are useless. They can only give you answers." — Pablo Picasso.
    dropped my computer on my foot ! That Megahurtz !"
    "The computer allows you to make mistakes faster than any other invention, with the possible exception of handguns and tequila." — Mitch Ratcliffe
    "Software gets slower faster than hardware gets faster." — Wirth's law.
    "The only thing more dangerous than a hardware guy with a code patch is a programmer with a soldering iron."
    "Reading computer manuals without the hardware is as frustrating as reading sex manuals without the software."
    "Sluts are like my webserver — they spend all their time going down."

    "Penis size is not really important. Like they say, it's not the size of the boat, it's the length of the mast divided by the surface area of the mainsail and subtracted from the circumference of the bilge pump. Or something like that." — Donna Untrael.
  7. Cutter Nicholas Shehadie (39)

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    It is impossible to defeat an ignorant man in argument. -William G. McAdoo, lawyer and politician (1863-1941)
    cyclopath likes this.

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