EXCLUSIVE: QWADE Drug News!! - Green and Gold Rugby



Are you DEPRESSED or ANXIOUS at the prospect of another Tri-Nations tournament? WORRIED about how on earth this young and injury ridden Wallaby side can compete with the 800 pound gorillas of world rugby?

Well suffer no more!

Spearheaded by Dr Cyclo Path MD of the Green and Gold Rugby Forum Institute, our research team of the finest scientists Australian rugby has to offer has made a momentous medical breakthrough to bring you QWADE (Qantas Wallabies Anti-Depressant Extract).

Pop one of these beauties at the first sign of Wallaby malaise and you’ll be able to sit back with a doped out grin on your face, blissfully unaware of the ritual humiliation being played out on the TV in front of you. Instead of knock-ons and aimless kicking, you’ll be drooling away with pictures of outrageous side-steps and sweet passes flickering over your glazed eye-balls.

  • Batmann

    I’ll need at least 6 repeats on my script to get me through to August, but i think i should be right by the end of season Norther Hemisphere tour.

  • RedsHappy

    I hope your lawyers have made you aware that this all-too-handy drug was in fact patented by Langthorne and me in early June (2010), under another name mind you.

  • Jnor

    Will it be on the PBS? Otherwise I may have to wait for the generic (possibly RH’s one) to come out. Also, Gold.

  • RedsHappy

    Ooops…I should have mentioned above that Robson is also joint patent holder of the other version…

    • Robson

      Yes, but mine is called alcohol.

      • RedsHappy

        LOL!! Go Robson.

  • fiona

    Any overdose side effects we need to be aware of? Or is that just what blind optimism and dingospeak are?

  • Batmann

    Side effects may include retrograde amnesia, esp if you end up in someone’s backyard with a laptop or two in your backpack.

    Also do not mix with wine or a Ben Cousins episode may be the result.

  • D

    Pleased to say I was a test subject for this drug and it worked on all of last seasons 3N & end of year tour tests. I’ve been trying to ween myself off them this year and I’m pulling my hair out after the shit rugby I’ve seen thus far and the bullshit excuses I’ve read coming out of the wallaby camp. Time to get back on QWADE’s real quick so I can enjoy the up and coming games.

  • Garry

    I’m wary of any drugs that feel toooo god. I’m betting when you wake up to reality the next day(‘s papers) , you start the horrors?

  • Conor

    I fear these drugs will however mask the symptoms, without fixing the core of the problem itself.

  • Bobas

    The Cuper tablets have double action. All the finese of the QWADE tablets, but with added strength and power.

  • chief

    Gimmie about two repeats just for this weekends game. Will be seeking more in a few days

  • Bay35Pablo

    Is the dosage strong enough to cure all symptoms?

  • Batmann

    What about the adverse side affects?

    Will you start saying things like ‘choice bro’ or ‘fush & chups’?

    • Garry

      “some patients make experience loose stool”. With the come down and and the on set of clarity , your may have the sh*ts

  • Robson

    Well what do you think of the drug called the Wallaby team to play the Springboks next Saturday?

  • Thomas

    Good to see such confidence and support to a side this site is suppose to be dedicated to

    • Langthorne

      Support – there is plenty

      Confidence – not even QWADEs can help with that

      • Thomas

        well this joke back fired on you didn’t it you, jeez this site a joke

        • You must be a real bundle of laughs Thomas

  • Ruggo

    My doctor warned me it may impare my front on defense.

  • Davey

    Known ti impair judgement – may wake up with fresh tough stickers and a bad haircut.

  • mudskipper

    Arrrrrrrrrr Doc… I’m worry QWADE is just a placebo… we took ARU recommened medication, JOC last year, it didn’t alter the symptoms…

  • The Rant

    fk my heart jumped when i saw the title for joke. Thought he’d been done for drygs! That would have been all we needed!



Matt started G&GR just before the 2007 Rugby World Cup and has been enslaved ever since. Follow him on twitter: @MattRowley

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