Flippie thinks the Wallabies are soft moffies - Green and Gold Rugby
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Flippie thinks the Wallabies are soft moffies

Flippie thinks the Wallabies are soft moffies

 

Jou bliksem, the Aussie skaapfokkers are kak! That’s the general view of the archetypal van der Merwe, Flippie of Krugersdorp about Saturday’s test in the West.

He’ll be phoning his oom Jannie, who lives in Perthfontein, to see how the Bokke are going at training in the lead-up. Oom Jannie is a motor mechanic in Claremont so he’ll be able to pop down in the Zola Budd to Nedlands footy club to see them in action just now. Maybe a bit of jetlag but nothing some snotklap on the park and a lekker feed won’t put right. Snor will have them right on edge.

Flippie thinks that the Bokke will have home ground advantage in Perthfontein. So many ex-pats it could be a green and gold tsunami, of the Saffa kind.

Flippie reckons the Aussie are just not up to it this year….in fact, not up to it most years, but this year in particular. He’s more concerned about the stats. He says the only reason the All Blacks have got a better statistical record than the Springboks is that they play the moffie Wallabies too often.

As for Al Baxter, he can’t believe that this oke has got 69 test caps. Front rankers have got to be tough, this guy is nooit! Not a tough bone in his body. Just think what they would have done with him at Kamp Staaldraad?

Flippie is a bit wary of the Wallabies sometimes, thinking they have a bit of rat cunning. He’s frightened that they’ll sneak in the old Summit ballas again. Percy and few other kickers have struggled with it in the past and their stats were way below average. He thinks the Aussie could remain in the hunt if Morne has to use this vrat of a ball.

He feels for the Wallabies with the loss of Barnes and Sharpe. He has a lot of time for Barnes, an intelligent player and superb defender. He was praying that the selectors would put in Quade Cooper or Kurtley Beale so that JVD and Jacques would have a funksie!

As for Dingo, Flippie thinks he was made to look a better coach than he is by a Crusaders team that virtually picked itself . But with the lack of quality in Aussie he is starting to look decidedly average and his comments aren’t too far away from Snor’s during the Lion’s series. Thinking that Mumm or Chisholm can confuse Victor and help them win their own lineout ball, let alone compete with the Bokke lineout….Ag, man….he must be on dagga! Flippie says ‘This is not going to be a lekker weekend for the Aussie’.

Flippie reckons the loss of these players will be a perfect excuse for the whinging Aussies and their fokken blatantly biased commentators to use, should they loose on Saturday. He says Kearns and that other dick whacker Greg Martin are the worst he has ever heard. Even worst than gat Mexted!

Flippie believes that the Tri-Nations has exposed Australia’s woeful lack of depth. He’s sure the existing South African and New Zealand franchises are licking their lippe at the thought of another Aussie team in the Super 14. As for the tendering process, Flippie thinks its a joke. ‘Everyone knows that the Kiwis and the Aussies will buddy-up (just like always) to deny South Africa another franchise for another year’.

Flippie believes that the Bokke shouldn’t be hoodwinked into playing ‘entertaining’ rugby. ‘If the Bokke stick to their strengths, they will win the tournament. If this represents boring rugby, I’ll take it every day of the week’. It irks the skaapfokkers that they don’t have a counter to the South African way. It frustrates them that physically they can’t match the Bokke and tactically they don’t have the players to negate their kicking game. ‘The Aussies and Kiwis talk of entertaining their audience, but the only entertainment the audience wants is victory’.

And as for the IRB fining their boys for the Justice 4 campaign…..Flippie say’s he’s bos befok!

 

  • Springbok

    I don’t know if any Australian would understand much of the above. I’m certain it’s a rip off of the average Afrikaans Bok supporter. Either that or an indictment of the Wallaby players. Having said that, not all Bok supporters are Afrikaans and most of us are level headed in our thinking. Which is more than I can say for the Aussie commentary team. Honestly, even if I was a Wallaby supporter, I would say that Kearns and Martin are most biased, crappest rugby commentators I have EVER heard. You may wonder why the rest of the world call Aussies whingers….. look no further!

    • Hambone

      dunno if you sarfies have got much to brag about with your commentators. the bloke (forgotten his name) who does the video analysis on the saffa sports channel does little more than describe what everyone can see. riveting stuff.

      and then there’s the saffa editors/producers who decide that the viewer is better off not seeing possible saffa indiscretions in replays. they also choose camera angles in replays that minimise or hide evidence of saffa offenses. and what’s with the score box overlay that takes up most of the bottom half of the screen?

      and who’s the commentator with afrikaans monotone who calls the game as if a springbok try is some kind of historical inevitability? fucked if the volume don’t get muted when he’s on roster.

      kearnsy and marto are as biased as any of them, but I’ll take their analysis and Fox sports’ production any day.

    • kiwi007

      I thought the biggest whingers were the ones wearing arm bands bru, and then they whinge again because they were made to pay peanuts for showing arrogant disrespect towards the IRB and to cap it off they whinge about being victims. Fantastic bru

  • Springbok

    I presume Kearns and Martin will be the commentary team on Saturday. I am cringing already.

    All Wallaby supporters, please listen to the South African commentators and compare it to the drivel we have to listen to from these two clowns.

    I have heard brilliant commentary from Aussie commentators before, what on earth are these two doing in their current positions – you have so much better, replace them!

    • CanadianRugby

      Seriously? A Bok fan ripping on the Australian announcers? Listening to whoever the clown is who uses phrases like “And then….that happens” because he’s too out of it to process what’s actually happening is far more painful. I can’t find his name right now but he is terrible. I would rather listen to Mex than that moron. I think they have a new play-by-play guy now, who is much better, but really, the old guy was useless.

    • CanadianRugby

      apparently I’m talking about Kobus Wiese. Or I may not be. Either way, he still sucks.

      • PaarlBok

        Jerre Boet if it was Kobus, you’ll know it will be him, he stands 2 TVs full.

        Maybe its Stinkstert or Stransky, they’r kak in my books.

        Myself love listening to the Aus commentators ,specially when they start losing then they start praising the opposition. Love that part.

        • Hambone

          Skinstad has some good things to say sometimes, but he drops the ‘jeepers’ bomb way too often. He sounds like a scoutmaster. Or Flanders.

    • wannabprop

      They are employed by Fox, and Fox encourages bias, controversy, drama etc to get their perceived best ratings. They don’t care about rugby or real quality (or any sport for that matter) apart from camera work. No rugby fan wants to listen the drivel espoused by ‘Marto’ and ‘Kearnsey’. If the commentary team creates controversy and makes the fans angry, they actually see that as a positive (for the god of ratings).

  • kiwi007

    WTF, Is this crap article intended for Saffas only.
    Flippie thinks, flippie believes, flippie thinks, flippie says blah blah blah. Kiwi007 says Ruck off. Pathetic article, speak english. Your accents are hard to stomach and bad enough let alone your crap Taal.

    • Piet

      Go away with a jerking motion!

    • Who Needs Melon

      Hands off Flippie!

      Don’t. Touch. Flippie.

  • Oxford Flippie

    Bleeding hilarious article. Firmly tongue in cheek.

    Kiwi007…lighten up mate, are you feeling hard done by having to speak the queen’s language?

    • kiwi007

      I guess your right mate, I just don’t understand a bloody word of that kak. I thought this was an Ozzy site.

      I don’t mean to insult who eva flippie is but I thought Ozzies spoke english, well sort of anyway.

      • Oxford Flippie

        No problem. At least you know a few choice aAfrikaans words like “kak” and “taal” Here’s a few more choice Afrikaans words to use: ” Donder”, “Moer” and “Gatvol”

        To be used as follows: Bakkies Botha will donder (or you can use moer) anyone that claims he cleared out that ruck in the Lions game illegally. He is gatvol of being portrayed a villain.

        • PaarlBok

          Only a soutie will say donder, we say donner.

  • Lance, is Flippe one of your Dolphins at one of your Aquatic centers there in ozy land. I wish I could understand Dolphin sounds… lol mate

    Awesum stuff, as always….. Go Flippe…. you KAK…. SPLASH! …. there you go…. good boy…..lol

  • Robson

    And this is supposed to be a rugby site.

  • kiwi007

    Instead of the saffas wearing arm bands in protest, why didn’t they wear head bands instead to hide their circumcision marks because let’s face it, the Bokkes are dickheads.

    • Oxford Flippie

      Seriously Kiwi007 your attempt at humour is seriously below par. I have a lot of Kiwi and Aussie friends who respect the Boks and their achievements the same way I respect their rugby teams… but your post just reeks of sour grapes. What’s the matter, are you jealous of the Boks, winning 2 World Cups while your choking Kiwis could not win a WC since 1987?

      • kiwi007

        How many tri-nations have SA won bru, actually, how many times have we beaten you throughout history. Havn’t you just gained IRB no1 RECENTLY bru.How arrogant lol
        You guys don’t even say thanks for the ’95 ‘charity’ cup.

        • Cough… Cough cough COUGH… cough cough cough cough… Cough COUGH!!!! thats the sound of the All Blacks choking for over 20 years of world cups! Whether or not the Springboks gained the #1 ranking recently or not, they are the current number 1 team. They are the Current World Cup Champions. They are the Current Super 14 champions. They won the series against the B&I Lions and they are currently leading the Tri Nations standings. Also remember that they hold more world cup titles than the All Blacks. Oh, and the only All Black World Cup win came during a tournament that the Springboks werent allowed to play in.

          Not taking anything away from the All Blacks, they are a superb team. But Kiwi supporters like you shouldn’t take anything away from the Springboks either, they are currently the best!

        • Steyn

          LMFAO…

          Thanks for the 95 “charity” cup, we really appreciated it!

          Steyn

  • Lance Free

    Taal in Paarl! Paarlbok would be able to tell you all about that.

    When the next All Black test comes around I’ll be posting some comment from my old mate in the Taranaki, Bill Whatanui from Whangamomona. Some of you Kiwis may cope with that a bit better……

    • kiwi007

      Ha ha, where is Whangamomona, at least get your spelling right, in maori, tell me what Whangamomona means?
      Whatanui? Fantastic bru, is the head band getting a bit too tight for you?
      Priceless

    • PaarlBok

      Nice article Lance. Will, wont, cant, mustnt react to Kiwi 007.

  • Scarfman

    Shit some of you blokes have no sense of humour. Rugby is not all chalkboards. There’s room for a bit of bullshit. Especially when the target is arrogant fans of the team that keeps winning.

    They’re very annoying.

  • beeza

    Lekka article Lance. Would love to see PDV face when they roll out the summit balls!

  • JJJ

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v439zTOJVho

    Can’t stand what they’re doing to the prawns.

    • Lance Free

      Absolutely brilliant. Haven’t seen that one before. That Spitting Image crowd were baie lekker!

  • Carlos

    Classic

  • NEWSHIELDS

    As soon as fans of a country start getting arrogant you know the end is near.

    I am a saffa and I am worried.

  • Springbok

    kiwi007
    Your comments are noted, but you sound a bit like Kearns yourself. You cannot come to terms with the FACT that the best side in the world does not wear black.
    I think you are shitting in your pants for the world cup in your own country – psychologists better start getting ready to deal with the choke now…

    • Oxford Flippie

      100% correct boet (see my reply to kiwi007’s bitter post above)

  • PaarlBok

    Lance the REAL Flippie van der Merwe boer somewhere close to Kimberley these days and his two boys played provincial for the Brutes and for the Stormers and WP, both locks.

    Here is his test record
    Flippie van der Merwe
    Full names: Phillip Rudolph
    Date of birth: 8 Jul 1957
    Place of birth: Dibeng, South Africa
    School: Diamantveld
    Debut test province: South Western Districts
    Physical: 1.96m, 133kg
    Current age: 52

    Test summary: Tests: 6 Tries: 0
    First Test: 29 Aug 1981 Age:24 Tight-head Prop against New Zealand at Athletic Park, Wellington
    Last Test: 26 Aug 1989 Age:32 Tight-head Prop against World Invitation at Newlands, Cape Town

    Test history:
    Date Age Position Opponent Result Score Venue Prov
    29 Aug 1981 24 Tight-head Prop New Zealand Win: 24-12 Athletic Park, Wellington SWD
    12 Sep 1981 24 Tight-head Prop New Zealand Lose: 22-25 Eden Park, Auckland SWD
    20 Sep 1981 24 Tight-head Prop USA Win: 38-7 Owl Creek Polo ground, Glenville, NY SWD
    10 May 1986 28 Tight-head Prop NZ Cavaliers Win: 21-15 Newlands, Cape Town W-Tvl
    17 May 1986 28 Tight-head Prop NZ Cavaliers Lose: 18-19 Kingspark, Durban W-Tvl
    26 Aug 1989 32 Tight-head Prop World Invitation Win: 20-19 Newlands, Cape Town Griquas

    A big mountain of a man fatty on his days.

    Maybe we can send Kiwi007 to Flippie in Warrenton and hear all about whining after he finished him with gum boots in his skaap kraal.

    • kiwi007

      HA HA, the cavaliers probably had about 4 All Blacks and they were about to retire, you do realize that when they returned back to NZ they weren’t allowed to ever play as an All Black again. They should of had a whinge and wore arm bands lol. It’s a bit arrogant speaking afrikaans on an Ozzy site bru, but people are used to arrogant saffas by now lol

      • PaarlBok

        Boet I just could not resist replying and maybe I mustnt but nevermind. I’d like to know which level of rugby you played and what position because I love to chat about the game we all love called rugby but dont wanna waiste this place space on stupid one liners or trolling. You sound like the old seven single records that were scratch , the same Saffer whining one about the Bakkies incident. Maybe you want the IRB to ban our lot but they dont have balls because banning us may give your belove All Blacks a better change of winning a WC like in 1987 when your B team won it after your A team lost against the Springbokke called Cavaliers. I know Rob Louw quite well and he played on that 1981 tour and know his game quite well and thats his words I am using. The Bokke maybe nr1 now for a few weeks but you forgot that they are also the current World Cup Champions , something your lot just aspire now for a few years. So spare us our arrogance a bit and to top this we also now nr1 in cricket, poach your 7 title , so maybe just just sound like a bitter loser at the moment.

        Like I said if you want to talk rugby, you welcome but if you want to talk kak and want a bitch fight, hit the PR or Keo Urls, they love this kak.

        • @PaarlBok, I totally agree.

        • kiwi007

          Touchy touchy, I played lock for Marlborough Red Devils 2nd XV, not that great I admit but don’t you agree boet that speaking in afro is pretty arrogant to say the least and carrying on as if SA have been the best in rugby since the year dot is even more arrogant BOET

        • Lance Free

          Alan Sutherland…..now there’s a player?

  • Oxford Flippie

    PaarlBok says:
    August 27, 2009 at 11:22 amOnly a soutie will say donder, we say donner.

    Jirre my maat, noem jy my nou n’ soutie?

    Ek sal jou sommer donder (of donner) as ek weer in die Paarl kom. Ek bly dalk al 10 jaar in Soutie land maar ek was, is en sal altyd n’ Afrikaner wees.
    Ek dink dis net julle ouens in die Kaap wat donner se.

    • PaarlBok

      Nee man Oxford, donder is vir soos donderweer. Donner = Bliksem. Kyk daar in die Oxford woordeboek, jy is mos nou daar by die slim lotte.

      Kom maak gerus ‘n draai in die Paarl. Ons het nie net lekker wyn nie, maar ons lewe in die skaduwee van die Taal Monument en om Paarl sal enige dag vir jou ‘n koue skink!

      Nice om ‘n slag afrikaans te tik hier!

      • Oxford Flippie

        Jy is gelukig om daar te bly boet- hemel op aarde. Ek kom so een keer per jaar daar in die Kaap en my gunsteling ding om te doen is om die wyn plase daar in die Paarl, Stellenbosh en Franschoek te besoek. Ek sal weer in Desember daar wees. Ek neem jou dalk nog op vir daai offer van n’ koue – wyn of biertjie…maak nie saak nie.
        Geniet die rugby Saterdag. Ek dink die Bokke gaan die Wablies lekker moer(of is dit mhoer?)

        • PaarlBok

          Hahaha, MOER verseker, ek sal ‘n 1 punt wen vat.

          Des is ek gewoonlik by Struisbaai, maar ons gesels weer en ja die Paarl is hemel op aarde, geen wonder ons maak Bok rugbyspelers groot soos wynstokke nie. Dit moet die suurstof wees wat ons inasem hier.

        • Patrick

          putain que vous êtes de cons!

      • NEWSHIELDS

        c’MON lads this is an Ozzie site least you can do is talk the lingo. I know you were just having a banter but its bad form.

        • Oxford Flippie

          Apologies mate. Yes we did have a bit of a banter…that’s all. No harm intended. It was nice nice posting a bit in the old mothertongue though.

  • Lance Free

    We’ve gone multi-lingual! Our international visitors are more than welcome, even the ‘Skaapfokkers Mk 2′ from over the ditch (who are difficult to understand at the best of times).

    Paarbok: I know about that Flippie, he was some big oke. He propped against Manawatu’s Gary Knight in the tests against the All Blacks in 1981. Knight was a world class front ranker and was the player hit by the flower bomb dropped by protesters from an aircraft in the Auckland test.

    Flippie was a very large unit for those times. Not sure that he’d survive in today’s more mobile game.

    • PaarlBok

      Lance I differ a bit, wish John Smit could scrum like Groot Flippe. We have quite a few Fattie Flippie running around in Paarl playing U7 rugby and thats what make rugby such a lovely sport, give every shape and size a position to play.

      Gary Knight, wont forget the way Gert Small floor him in the Cavalier test.

      • Lance Free

        PaarlBok: That’s always been the underlying strength of SA rugby. Big strong forwards like Flippie vdM who were great at the set piece at a time when mobility wasn’t such a big factor – fellas like Mof Myburgh, Moaner van Heerden, Theuns Stofberg and latterly Kobus Wiese etc when generally players were a bit smaller than now.

        It took SA a while to move away from the ‘huge forward’ mentality, slowly adapting to the new situation after they returned from isolation in the 90’s.

        FvdM would be an asset now, although in the professional era he would be faster, fitter and have less of a belly.

        Haven’t times changed, Frans Steyn is apparently bigger than Frik du Preez was?

        PS Doesn’t worry me what language you post in – seems there’s plenty of people on these pages who understand.

        • PaarlBok

          Yep you right and it havent change if I look at our kiddies. They play full contact from age 7, half a field with 10 (5 forwards, 5 backs) with lineouts & scrums from age 8 and full field 15 men from age 9. Thats where we attrack our fattie kids to the game and once they hit u11 they already hit scrums with touch, pause & engage. U13 and they already coached into full rugby players playing the way the big men do.

          Edit: The kiddies play a lot of touchie but not that rag rugby they play in other countries, they play that in PT periods in schooltime with their full school uniform.

  • PaarlBok

    Hey and me and Oxford Flippie havent bite any Aussie or Kiwi, we was more reacting to me calling him a Soutie and he is a Boer like myself. Thanks for the oppertunity to post in Boer, hell its great and we’ll never use it to discriminate against the Convicts or Kiwis, that we’ll do in PomTaal if we want to.

    • Oxford Flippie

      Yes indeed. The insults where all directed at me :-)
      Us boere are quite direct and if we want to insult someone we will make sure they understand 100% that they have been insulted. (Not that we go around just randomly insulting people)

      • Lance Free

        Paarlbok/Oxford Flippie

        I think I’ll insult you both then (in Kiwi this time – I’ll call myself sheepshaggermktwo008):

        Hey bro’, you are both tutae. Next time, you’ve got to bring a plate. You’re such a hard case and I’ll be wearing my jandals. The Speight’s is grouse and I’ll put it in the chilly bin. It’s choice hey, you’re such a boy racer. The All Blacks are munted and have turned to custard.

        I hope you feel insulted by that.

        • PaarlBok

          Goed so. Flippie you must join us on the forum Boet, only me and Blue there and we need some more Boere.

          Are you a WP man?

        • Lance Free

          Flippie says: ‘from Krugersdorp but for Currie Cup, ya nee man WP no problem’.

        • kiwi007

          Insulted? absolutely loved it, at least I understood you. Choice Bro

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@@LanceFree

Roscoe Tims (aka @LanceFree): A nasty, opinionated little man whose views are indeed narrow with a capital 'N'. Favourite Sport: mungo bashing. Does he ever have anything positive to say?

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