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RANK: Most punchable current rugby players

Off White Card July 9, 2012 52

No GravatarIt’s a compliment to them that they get under people’s skins so much, but how would you rank the following players in terms of who most deserves a slap? (Assuming for one second you had the ability, balls or insanity to do so.)

This exercise is a tribute to Jimmy Cowan, on the occasion of his retirement from meaningful rugby (i.e. he’s moving to the UK).

Most Punchable Current Rugby Players


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Discussion

  • http://www.andrewmosey.com Moses

    Brett Sheehan will be pissed to not rate a mention

    • Wolfie

      Josh Valentine surely rates a mention. Why do you think he keeps moving clubs??

  • Even less poorly thought through

    I want to punch James O’Connor every time I see a dietary supplement commercial.

  • Colin

    No Saia Faingaa? Dean Mumm? Mitch Inman? Cummins?

    • Timbo

      I think this is for general douche-baggery rather than brain-farts on the pitch

  • murph

    No Rob Horne? A fist magnet if ever there was one?

    • Mr Porthull

      At least Rob Horne is an excellent ball runner, he has that as a positive.

      • murph

        Well, he needs to have one aspect to his game

  • Josh123

    Glad to see people agree with me and Manu Tuilangi. Chris Ashton HAS to be no. 1

  • tigerland12

    Why would anyone want to punch SBW? Have you seen him throw a punch back!?

    • James

      I’m considerably more scared of Bismark.

      • mark conley

        Bismarck definitely the one not to hit!

    • http://www.greenandgoldrugby.com Moses

      I’ve seen him throw a punch at a 43 year old unemployed fat Tongan gospel singer, then get warned by the ref to stop turning his back on his opponent after every missed punch.

    • Ian

      I reckon 70% of international rugby players would pummel Money Bro Williams if it ever came to blows, have you seen the opponents he picks to fight? Laughable!

  • Skip

    after watching PTT during RWC, conrad smith has to rate a mention.

    • Coodabeenawesome

      Have to agree there Skip. After being a big Conrad fan early on he seems to have developed into the classic well balanced Kiwi. You would think being an AB and regarded as one of the best in the world in his position would ease those chips off his shoulders…

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  • Brumby Jack

    If Duncan McRae sees this page, Ronan O’Gara’s ranking will go up as many places as punches landed on him by McRae back in 2001.

    Also, it appears Adam Byrnes is also a fan with Tom Carter ranking so highly.

  • RJ

    How did bakkies Botha evade this list. I know he’s retired, but boy I woukd still love to headbutt him a few times (obviously whilst he was tied up).

    • Dogman

      And squatting down to my level.

  • jay-c

    ive seen bismark on the rugby club and it totally changed my opinion of him> i thought he spoke calm and collected and was a gentleman> have a lot of respect for the guy
    plus without sheehan this list is void

  • jrw

    I don’t know what it is, but something about Adam Thomson’s face just makes me want to unleash the fists of fury on him.

  • bob

    skulk i’ll dig your eyes out and richie mccheat surely make it?

  • Mart

    Butch James?

    • http://www.greenandgoldrugby.com/ Matt Rowley

      Ooh yes – definitely a miss

    • Ted

      Besides from a few… *ahem* controversial tackles, he seems like a fairly classy character off field. Am I missing something?

  • Lauren

    David Pocock.

    I cannot stand him. He calls himself the best in the world. Know more people who are better than him and less likely to start a fight at the breakdown.

    • RJ

      Lauren you are a troll in both meanings of the word. The amount of thumbs up you have is in direct correlation to your knowledge of the game and players. Absolutely none

      • Lauren

        That’s what you think, everyone is entitled to their opinion last time I checked.

        Also, my knowledge for the game in varying people’s opinion’s in far advanced than the average joe. I’ve only come up with that accusation after watching every super rugby game this season, almost.

        Plus I’m a 7 myself, I don’t punch out people just because I couldn’t milk a penalty.

        Don’t see McCaw, Robinson, Gill, Alcock etc do what he does.

        • Wolfie

          Sorry Lauren, this seems necessary.

          What the f**k are you talking about?

        • Lauren

          Wolfie – im female, im always judgemental.

          Wait even thats too much info.

  • Lauren

    David Pocock.

    I cannot stand him.
    He calls himself the best in the world – I know more people who are better than him and less likely to start a brawl at every breakdown.

  • http://BigFella Big Fella

    Sam Norton Knight is a special now he’s back.
    Even his own team mates wanted a piece of him.

  • Lex

    Sorry to be dense, but does the blue “thumbs up” mean “Yes I want to punch him”, and the red “thumbs down” mean “No he doesn’t deserve a punch”, or vice versa?

    Either seems possible.

    • Cantab

      Haha..yer I didnt know either until I saw Tom Carters thumbs up/down ratio.

  • Justtacklehim

    Tom Carter has to be #1 if Peter Hewatt isn’t available to vote for.

  • Tyrone

    Can’t stand Piri “Wee’s&poo’s”, also can’t stand James Horwill

  • Alan

    surprised that Jamie Cudmore didn’t make the list.. though you’d probably have to look far and wide to find someone with the balls to take a shot at him

  • Tipsy

    Can we throw a coach into the mix? After watching 30 seconds of the Eddie Jones video re Japan I was hoping for a snap kick to the head from the captain.

  • Lauren

    I also vote Quade Cooper for trying to big note himself by starting a punch up with Richie McCaw.

    Least black seven had more sense before he know kneed in the head….

  • Lauren

    I also vote Quade Cooper for trying to big note himself by starting a punch up with Richie McCaw.

    And he still wonders why the whole of NZ hates him…

    Least black seven had more sense before he got kneed in the head….

    • bill

      Is that the whole of NZ, as estimable as they are, hate him, or ENVY him? If it’s hate him, how do they feel about Richard Loe. How do they feel about the ref in in the last world cup when the french got robbed of a chance at winning the title in the last 20 minutes.

  • bill

    Tom Carter for mine, didn]t mind him him until the Adam Byrnes thing happened then the scales fell from eyes. Bakkies Botha otherwise.

    How is SIR Richie not featuring? Is he really that good?

  • Garry

    Can we tack Big Jon O’neil.s name on the end of this list please. Although he’d be a late starter, I’m interested to see how quickly he closes in on first place.

  • NTA

    Ali Williams surely needs entry in two categories: within-haka and without.

  • Fatflanker

    Wouldn’t mind sneaking up on Jonny Wilkinson OBE and laying one on him for 2003. Have to watch out he didn’t get in a reprisal kick to the cods though – that would have to hurt.

  • http://BigFella Big Fella

    Can we please add Bradley Wiggins.
    I’m almost positive he played rugby at some stage, he’s English and he’s definitely got a face that deserves a punch.

  • Dave

    My vote would be for Brian O’Driscoll. A fantastic player but such a sulky muppet which makes his talent seem like an injustice. Probably doesn’t deserve a punch, but a slap is just not enough – perhaps a couple of backhanders and and elbow to the solar plexus. But then you’d have to put up with his look of disbelief that you just hit who he thinks is the best player on earth. After which he’ll need a punch.

  • StraighthrutheMiddle

    how bout the whole of New Zealand ..any takers ?

  • http://www.dumptackle.blogspot.com Philip Bailey

    Chris Ashton certainly deserves a slap or two….

    Gavin Henson deserves to be mauled by an american on bathsalts though. Maybe that would get that horrible fake mahogony tan off him.

    http://www.dumptackle.blogspot.co.uk/2012/07/not-so-serious-super-rugby-2012-awards.html

  • mikey

    How about Matt Henjak, just look at the results on google images. I’ve heard he’s stirred a lot trouble at the clubs he’s been at as well.

  • FedEx

    I’d like to poke Wendall Sailors eye out with a fork for playing test rugby on the wing and having his team mates kick the ball for him

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