Rugby Australia rises in Least Embarrassing Sporting Codes power rankings - Green and Gold Rugby
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Rugby Australia rises in Least Embarrassing Sporting Codes power rankings

Rugby Australia rises in Least Embarrassing Sporting Codes power rankings

The Least Embarrassing Sporting Code in Australia power rankings have been updated overnight, after the Australian cricket team cheated in South Africa last night.

The biggest news is the fall of Cricket Australia, who have fallen 3 places from 995th to 998th, meaning that the NRL, Rugby Australia and the FFA have all risen one place in the rankings.

The reinvigorated NBL is on the top of the rankings, with the basketball league being pretty well run and having no outside dramas about it, backed up by Crab Racing, one of the fastest growing pub novelty sports in the country.

The organiser of the rankings, Toby, a local of the Dapto Hotel, says he’s carefully calculated the placings of all sports in the power rankings.

“Strewth tell you what those arseholes in their ivory towers ain’t doing too fucking good hey. I’m talking about the loigue, those silver spooned dickheads (Rugby Australia), and those wogball fairies.

“But now I reckon Smithy has really fucked it. The bloke is great at hitting a ball with a stick, but he’s a bit of a donut aye. So I reckon cricket is the most embarassing sport in the country now hey.

“Except the AFL of course. And believe you me it’s not only the most embarassing sport because of the pom poms, short shorts and Broadway songs.”

The fall of Cricket Australia in the power rankings is likely to keep the Melbourne sport press’s lips drooling for at least 4 years.

“The doping story about Essendon was so fucking exciting we didn’t shut up about it for 2 years,” said Sports Capital of the Universe Sports Network News reporter Jim Whitenoisodopolous. “And I can already tell that this is going to go off for at least twice as long.”

On hearing the news of the ball-tampering incident, Raelene Castle was reported to have said, “thank fuck for that.”

Power Rankings (in brief)

1. Basketball

2. Crab racing

..

995. Soccer

996. Rugby

997. League

998. Cricket

999. AFL

  • Brisneyland Local

    CLose off White. But Rugby is definitely competeing with cricket! I mean dont get me wrong, they really screwed the pooch with a Ocean going variety of fuck up. But ARU / RA has just consistently been dolling out fuck up after fuck up for decades!

    • Ad-O

      They would have to appoint Richard Graham as Head Coach to catch up.

      • Brisneyland Local

        Gee and I thought I was giving Cheika hard time. The Ad-O brings out the big guns!

  • ForceFan

    Cameron Clyne to James Sutherland:
    “No problems Jim – just change the name to Australia Cricket and dump Tasmania!”

  • Alister Smith

    I think we are less embarrassing than Soccer on some levels – we don’t have flares and large segments of our supporters banned from games (we have large segments of our supporters no longer bothered to turn up for games but that is a different thing all together). We are, however, the only one of the major codes (well major code might be stretching it…) to cut a team in order to improve our competitiveness and financial position and are yet to develop a coherent plan for developing our player and supporter base at all levels but otherwise sailing along pretty well

    • Christopher

      although super league did cut the Western Reds and the Adelaide Rams… and the SEQ Crushers. How Brisbane can only support one team and Sydney 10 is a stitch up.

    • Ad-O

      At least the soccer team can beat Scotland

  • Missing Link

    Easy marketing strategy for the ARU errr RA – when was the last time the Wallabies cheated, took a dive/faked an injury, sexually assaulted a female, were caught with drugs …..

    OK damn you Karmichael Hunt!

    • Alister Smith

      If we are cheating we are the Parramatta Eels of the rugby world – cheating and still managing to finish last

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