Six Nations England vs Italy and Ireland vs France reviews
England

Six Nations – the good and the ugly so far

Six Nations – the good and the ugly so far
Makes me feel thin - Goode

Makes me feel thin - Goode

England 36 – Italy 11

First off there was a match where Italy conspired to make sure that England couldn’t lose, no matter how shit they played. Despite there being 6 tries in this turdfest, this was up there with some of the crappest rugby I’d seen for a while. Well, since England played last year at least.

Plenty of people are pointing at the Poms, but in truth is was Mallet who truly fucked this encounter by sticking Bergamasco in at 9.

What the fuck was he thinking?

Mauro is one of the better 7’s in Europe, we’ve now found out he cant hit a barn door at 5 yards with his pass. Even worse was watching him barrel into rucks, leaving the ball behind for the scrum half, who was er, him.

This all meant the Poms didn’t need to do anything but wait for the frizzy headed Itie (or the hooker) to stuff up. Which he did regularly through the first half, going into the break 22-6 down. What made this totally FUBAR was that the Ities bossed the possession and territory stats while still managing to sink like a stone. Bizzare.

Aussie interests peaked by the replacement Itie 10 – Luke McLean who looked pretty damn good. I’m sure the Queensland contingent of Juan Cote, Lance and El Dommo can tell us more about him.

 

Heaslip  - had a feckin belter

Heaslip - had a feckn belter

Ireland 30 – France 21

In the pre-match and then during the England-Italy abortion, we had to listen to the venerable ambassadors of the game tell us how fucked modern rugby is because of the ELVs and lack of space left on the field.

What a load of arse.

These two teams showed us all what rugby was about. Fast ball hitting men at speed who knew how to make and take advantage of space. There’s a very simple skill that everyone else has forgotten other than the frogs – passing the ball in front of the man. Amazing. All of a sudden you can run at speed past defenders. Someone really oughta telelgraph this to the poms.

Unfortunately someone had to lose this match. It seemed to be that the Irish just had too much in the tank, and were too good at the breakdown. Their no. 8 Heaslip had a belter.

But before some pommy dinosaur writes this match off as a game of touch – not true. We also saw some sublime field kicking from the likes of O’Gara and Bauxis. There’s space for everything in the modern game, you just have to know your arse from your elbow.

England
@MattRowley

Matt started G&GR just before the 2007 Rugby World Cup and has been enslaved ever since. Follow him on twitter: @MattRowley

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