So here we are, four years on from that glitch in the order of the universe, and the stage is set for either some serious payback, or some serious egg on face. In rugby, this has got to be the ultimate in North/South grudge matches.
Sure, you’ve got the fact that we’ve both nicked Bill from each other – us in 91, them in 03, Campo, the B teams the gutless turd that is the ERFU keeps sending down and we keep caning, our front row stuffing at Twickers and Austin Healy (the dickhead, not the car).
But it goes deeper than just rugby for both sides; our recent twatting of them in every sport other than running away (athletics) – a notable exception being a certain Ashes series (another glitch in the space-time continuum) – but then also Bodyline, Gallipoli, Singapore, Gough Whitlam and that whole convict/colony thing. I’m not saying these are all necessarily justified or correct, but they all go into a creating a depth of feeling that’s beyond sport, unlike if Australia goes on to play NZ, SA or France.
Which is why it’s unsurprising that the war of words has started to ratchet up a notch or ten on the run up to next Saturday. The aforementioned penisaurus, Austin Healy, has demanded that John O’Neill be fined for bringing the game into disrepute;
“For the chief executive of a rugby union to say that about another nation undoubtedly brings the game into disrepute. Get him in the dock. Fine and sanction him for slagging off the mother country.”
In response, far from de-escalating the war of words, JO’n has made himself that little bit clearer:
“All I’m doing is stating the bleeding obvious.
“No one likes England.
“If they want further proof, how do they think France won the right to host this World Cup?
“It’s simple. No one would vote for England, and they were the only other country in the running.
“The only votes England could be assured of back then were their own.
“Sadly, this is all a by-product of their born-to-rule mentality.
“It’s been there for a long time now and nothing has changed.”
In for a penny, in for a pound eh John? And now LT has got in the act, effectively pasting every England player who’s not Jason Robinson;
“[Robinson] is probably their main attacking weapon and probably – and I don’t like to say it – but probably the only world-class back that they have playing in form at the moment, or was playing in form,”
So from the Aussie side the gloves are off, but is this the right way to go? In cricket, the on-field sledging has worked a treat for Australia in recent years, but that’s while we were indisputably the best in the world. While I like the sentiment and guts to be heard, I’m also failing to see what this gets us, other than to fire up an otherwise dejected England team. Right now the best weapon against England is their own press.
Those of you familiar with Stephen Jones of the Times will realise that outside of Greg Growden (before he found the pastries in France), there’s no stronger critic of Aussie rugby. Well, here’s a typical excerpt from his article today;
“Australia, behind their barricade, are a wonderful team. If they had Tony Woodcock and Carl Hayman, the great All Black props, they would be better than the All Blacks.“They have athleticism throughout the team. They have a flow, with scrum-half George Gregan, diminished as a player but not as a controller, controlling that flow. Above everything, they have a footballing competence behind their scrum that is magnificent.
“Take Chris Latham, now a veteran full-back, but a true great, an era player (and what a capture for Bristol if he does sign on the dotted line). In Britain we seem always to be frustrated by the lack of roundness to our players. Mathew Tait? Lovely runner, shame he’s not bigger and stronger. Ditto Shane Williams. Mike Tindall? Great big bloke, shame he can’t step so well. Josh Lewsey? Great player, shame his kicking game is so short. Gavin Henson? Great talent, shame his temperament is away with the fairies.
Now look at Latham. A strapping athlete, he is quick, he can step, and by the sheer range of different kicks and the length of his boomers, he puts the kicking games of the home nations teams to shame by himself. When you surround Latham with the resurgent captain, Stirling Mortlock, the richly talented Matt Giteau and Lote Tuqiri, flirting occasionally with genius on the wing, you have a range of talent and danger.”
Fµck me Stephen, couldn’t have said it better myself. But it makes me nervous all this pommy mealymouthing. Maybe it’s because deep down I could just about live with a loss against the ABs or the French at home. But not against the poms, under any circumstances.
So, just when I’m about to suggest we cut them that bit of verbal slack I read this whining, nonsensical drivel in the same article above from Jones about the Wallabies’ scrummaging;
“But the Australians have become so adept at offsetting opposition advantage (only the uncouth would call them a bunch of Aussie cheats) and officialdom so adept at letting them get away with it, that England are unlikely to gain any advantage in the tight phases.”
Stuff restraint. LET’S GET IT ON.
Tags: carl hayman, chris latham, cook cup, george gregan, greg growden, john o'neill, lote tuqiri, matt giteau, poms, rivalry, stephen jones, stirling mortlock
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Vamos Los Pumas!!!
Thanks for your comments. And good luck to the Wallabies in your match against England.
I’m sure it’s going to be a cracker.
By the way what a celebration it would be in down under should you guys win the Rugby World cup, just a few months after winning the ICC Cricket World Cup
Thanks JOhn, nice of you to mention that other world cup in the cabinet. Hope to be playing Los Pumas in the final!
If Straya get rooted by the English they can look back at their comments this week and regret the ammo they have provided.
Tuquri, the Fijian, should be the first to bow. He has been talking the talk but so far has sweet FA to back it up. Sackey anyday.
Then you have O’Neil, a half pint piece of piss if ever i’ve seen one. An attempt to boost his resume by drawing extra media attention backfires as the 2003 RUNNERS UP are knocked out.
Last but not least David Cuntpeasy … what a laugh of a man. One time rugby great and all time twat. Get ready for your bill board old son.
HAHA, you Aussies crack me up… Talk up your game against england, its fine, because after that the Kiwis are going to clean the floor with you. Its just a pity the Springboks won’t get a crack at you overrated buggers… Go SpringBoks!!!
That’s funny, I don’t remember placing a Google ad for fuckwits.
Idiot Kiwi
Won’t argue with you on Tuqiri, or maybe even O’Neill. But now that YOU mention it, remind me of where NZ came in the 2003 world cup? And who was it that knocked you out? RUNNERS UP is not a happy place but it’s a damn site better than what you jokers achieved. Moron.
Jaapie
You seem to have Alzheimer’s to go with your sub-normal IQ. Only two months ago the Wallabies beat the ABs whereas you lot: a) got smashed at home by them and then b) didn’t have the nuts to send your ‘A’ team to either Australia or NZ, where you then got butt-fucked.
So my chicken-shit Anonymous arse-clowns, if you can find someone else to help you, feel free to come back with something intelligent to write.
Matt, Im not a Kiwi, im an Englishman.
I do not expect England to win this Weekend … but boy oh boy will you hear about it if we do. LOL.
Just another point. Australia have had no decent competition in the WC so far … so it will be interesting to see if they can step up to the plate against a more competitve side. In particular, Berrick Barnes.
Olaf the weedling,
England are taking on “the brightest team in world rugby”. Did you hear your seond row say that?
What do you think the little kiwis, our poor Pacific cousins huddled in the rain with their meagre personalities all making compensations, will think of that?
Our reputation as the bright and golden worldly warriors is not in question.
What is, is a game of rugby that of course, we will win by at least the number of racist Saffers there are.
Olaf – I sure expect to cop it if your boys do the biz on sat, but I was here through the last RWC and that Ashes series so I’ll get over it.
You’re right on the level of comp Australia has had, but with our thin level of backup it was probably our best shot. And we may have got a little carried away about Barnes, this will be his 3rd test! Unfortunately I think it might be closer than I’d wish, and we don’t have a true top level goal kicker.
Nicolas – wish I could be so confident!
Well, the Aussie team lost with some dignity. the trouble with Aussies is they… actually I can’t be bothered to comment…
Hello fellas … well fuck me we won.
Must hurt to get knocked the hell out by England again … and the knocked the hell out is the appropriate word.
When you guys gonna start playing real rugby? Remember … the rugby that involves the forwards too ?
Oh well ….
I am the happiest Englishman in the world and looking forward to hearing the ‘Wingeing Wallabies’ talk their way out of this one. BTW, your boys scrum like a bunch of five year old girls. LMAO.
..and if I missed the ‘h’ out of whingeing, it must be ‘cos we were the only one’s on the pitch playing with ‘h’eart. Still LMAO.
How sweet that you big headed,loud mouthed, low life bastards from a land founded on the rubbish we sent there 200 year ago; have been soundly thrashed once more by your mother country.
Perhaps you can share the plane with the all blacks and drop them off on the way.
You can make all the excuses you want, bottom line is you are crap at Rugby and now the whole world knows and is laughing at you…..get on home boys with your tails between your legs…. we’ll see you in four years and teach you another lesson.
Admiral Lord Nelson
Oh well this arrogant trash was exposed for what it was. You lost to the world champs, just live with it. They out played you Aussies in every sector.
Guess you can start complaining about the ref now.
Whoopee! roll on the next one.
I really cant believe you aussies whats your problem with england? history is history, but the fact is you would not be here today if it was not for england! so dont hate appreciate.by the way bad luck on the rubgy…whahahahaha..
Hello i would like to make a quick comment after reading the remarks,well done england unlucky australia.
my grandfather was aussie he had the mentality that england and australia was just cousins and should respect each other, but it seems the younger assies have a alot of hate for england its quite disturbing…