Is this an NBA team?
The Vic Super 15 team is looking for a name. Well, they’re not, yet, but in the words of John O’Niell:
“I’d prefer something other than the Rebels. I think we need a fresh start, and I think they ought to put it out to the [public and] run a competition.”
Let’s be honest here, recent form in naming of Australian rugby teams has been piss-poor, with an alarming trend towards Americanised corporate wankery. For this reason throwing this out to the public is a good idea, however it’s still reliant on someone with half a clue picking a winner, if we’ve learnt anything from the iSnack 2.0 fiasco.
Here’s a short and by no means definative list of some recent howlers:
The Ballymore Tornadoes – Granted, the Ballymore association was a brilliant start, however what the fark were they thinking with “Tornadoes”? We have cyclones in Australia if I’m not mistaken.
The Western Force – I’m still not sure if they mean that they’re a Force to be reckoned with, or a Star Wars reference. Regardless it doesn’t convey Perth, Rugby or even a team. The Western Quoakkas could have been a good name, at least up until Dick Brown and Scott Fava interfered with the local marsupial.
Melbourne Rebels – This one is so far off the mark it’s not funny. From an area where bushranges used to roam free, if you’re going to pick an anti authoritarian figure then go with Ned Kelly!
Perth Spirit – another intangible concept from the geniuses at RugbyWA, are they trying to say the team is haunted or pissed? Could have been a good match for Bundy Rum to sponsor I guess.
East Coast Aces – Perhaps this Gold Coast team was named after their scrum which folded like a deck of cards?
Sydney Fleet – I was expecting them to bring out the Village People for their season launch.
If you’ve got a good idea for a name stick it in the comments to this post, at least it will be better than the Rebels.
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Well if they play shite they could be called the “Melbourne Muppets”
Certainly need to move away from this cat pumpery of having a name which makes someone feel clever because
As in the previous forum – teams seem to be scared to put a name which truly represents them for fear of segregating part of the community. Also, like naming a child, put a little thought into what the headlines might mean for a struggling team. (It must have been and entire 15 minutes before the Force were known as the Farce). If your surname is Head, don’t name your kid Richard.
Not living in Vic – I have had a bit of a look on Wikipedia to try and find a name appropriate for the state.
The Animal emblem is the Leadbeater’s Possum and the Bird Emblem is the Helmeted Honeyeater. Neither really strike fear into the hearts of opponents but I suppose neither does a Koala unless you are worried about catching chlamydia. The floral emblem is the common heath (what boring horse botherer picked all of these)- again….FAIL.
It then goes on to some settlement…blah blah blah…Eureka Stockade….blah blah blah more rubbish….
Ok, maybe this will help – Major tourist destinations. The Apostles might be a good name – giants bits of rock standing side by side. Probably loses out due to the religious connotations and doesn’t help that they are now falling apart…
Other attractions…. Fairy Penguins…fail…Yarra Valley… yawn yawn yawn..
I have found it! Now this is a stretch… Legendary Aussie Band AC/DC have a Lane named after them somewhere in Melbourne & the most famous Beach is Bells… How About Victoria Hells Bells?!
Moses, you’re not mistaken in that we have cyclones, but we do also have tornadoes. A cyclone is the more general name for the Atlantic storms known as hurricanes. If they had been the Ballymore Hurricanes then it would have really sucked (blown?) but Tornadoes is quite alright meteorologically.
Willy Willy might have been more appropriate though…
How about the Victory Crosses? I feel it has a certain gallant military cachet.
Agh! That should of course read Victoria Crosses.
And now that I think of it, it’s not very clever or funny.
That’s farking brilliant. I like
Gotta say, it might have something…
The Victoria Crosses…sadly the PM and military might object.
The Melbourne Blokes
Diggers?
Weary Dunlop first Victorian to represent the Wallabies and served at Tobruk (amongst others)
i like that, it may annoy some people as isn’t soley vic’s to claim.
Melbourne Bucks, get starbucks onboard and cha ching.
Melbourne Islanders cause lets face it there is going to be a few in the team.
There have been some great moustaches by victorians over the years, Merv comes to mind…
Melbourne Tash (need i say more?)
The Melbourne Lattes?
The Melbourne Macciatos…
Melborne Victors, Victory, Diggers, Triumphs, Fortunes, Power, Dominos, Magnums, Breeze are some of my thoughts made up on the spur of the moment
The Melbourne Kennetts
The Melbourne Metros?
The Weary Victorians?
“I can’t believe it’s not VFL” Victorians
The Vic Bitters
Ultimately – Who cares! – whatever they call them selves will have the piss taken out of it one way or another.
How about the Melbourne Lightning, or the Melbourne Thunder…
Melbourne Mob
The Melbourne Misogynists
Firstly it has to be Victoria, we have New South Wales, Queensland and Western Australia so Victoria not Melbourne
Personally Fark the Rebels stuff and just go for it with Bush Rangers
Have Ned Kelly on Horse back as a mascot and hot cheerleaders called the Kelly Gang (better yet have them wear the drysbone so they can flash like SA cheerleader and have them wearing the helmets so we only have to pick them o n body and not face as well)
Bushrangers is already taken by cricketers.
I like Rebels…. would mean I haven’t totally wasted $1,500 spent on my foundation membership!
Its certainly an interesting one. Most of the sentiment seems to tend towards the way Australians currently see themselves, which is often shaped around our ANZAC war history, ie Vic Crosses/Diggers. Sadly I dont know that they would be accepted.
Pefect example of how to choose a name is in Rod Macqueen’s Biography which came up with the notion for ACT. From memory it harped on the criteria (please correct me – its been a long time since I read it)of a. The local Australian Wildlife b. The area personified c. Something the locals would feel proud of…all of the above are a loose interpretation – HOWEVER, the result was the “Brumbies”, which hitherto, was an unknown aussie name…
From memory, he also put it to ballot amongst people (but, quite cheekily, put a mark next to “Brumbies”, and, low and behold, the selectors chose….”Brumbies”).
I encourage something bold, Australian, Victorian and unique. Put it to the people as JON suggests. For my 2c worth – Melbourne “Lighthorse” (again Anzan connotations) Bushrangers is taken by the cricket team sadly but
“Rangers” could work or “Settlers”, “Oceaners”, “Miners”…..but my favourite….Melbourne “Stockmen”.
Take any of the above and run with it.
Now, reading a bit about Vic, “Rebels” doesn’t sound so bad given the rum rebellion and so on…but I think JON is right in saying something new is req’d.
I don’t understand why JON thinks a new name is required – other than to piss Gary Grey off???
There was a lot wrong with the Rebels – small crowds and so on, they need a fresh approach and want to avoid any negative legacies
As far as a “brand” goes (and yep, it is important) the Rebels name is tarnished.
JON is right to say a new moniker is needed.
I think something acknowledging Melbourne’s standing as a port city would be good. It manly, tough has some history and still applies today. Unfortunately dockers is already taken by the AFL team. Longshoremen doesn’t really roll that nicely, but might work. Stevedores? probably not.
Also a big fan of some of the Ned Kelly stuff. Too bad Bushrangers is taken. Bandits? I vote for Bandits.
Tough history as a port city? Not quite
Isn’t all dock workers do is drink and fight? Based entirely on movies and TV I believe that’s what they do. Perfect for a rugby team.
im betting the go with a name that is more to do with Victoria. there state emblem has the emperial crown above it.
Vic. Royals (with crown as there sponsor, beer or casino”
Vic. Jesters
Vic. Kings (my favourate and a great way to tell south africa we care.
The Southern Dukes
other than that, there state emblem is a possum and the flower Pink Heath whatever that is, plus they have a honeyeater as a bird emblem.
I like the Royals…there is an IPL team of the same name though?
Southern Kings…..
Just to really annoy the Saffers!
Go for a flower like the NSW WARATAHS.
Victorian Pansies?
The soccer team got it right – dark blue and silver, classic name like Victory. As for Melbourne, how about something to do with our gold heritage? Miners?
Nice, like the Melbourne Nuggets or Victorian Bullion
Don’t think they’ll go for it – WA had the state rep team tagged Gold a few years back
South Miners
Southern Bandits
Southern Stockmen*
Victorian Royals
Southern Frontier
Southern Rangers
Victoria Rebels
Southern Stevedores (Chris Corrigan wouldn’t back them…)
Southern Emu’s
Can we setup a vote on this page for the next votable question?
*my personal choice
Victorian Rangers
i can see the puns already… they get a penalty within kicking distance “well this is certianly in the Victorians RANGE HAHAHAHA OH, SO WITTY”
I actually like the Southern Rangers, but its still too close to the cricket team. Bandits isn’t bad either. But I think Southern Stevedores wins for me.
iTeam 2.0?
Melbourne Bitter sponsored by errr.. VB !
Victorian Lighthorse sounds good but I hope it wouldn’t be seen as a crass commercialisation of Australia’s ANZAC history.
I’d like something reflective of the area, not something bland and commercial.
Gold rush is good though. The Welcome Strangers?
J’ON reckons they need to have a competition to decide the new name? They already had a competition, that’s how they got the the useless name like the Rebels in the first place.
For “the Rebels” to have won, they really must have had some shithouse names in the hat.
I’m sure the 6 year old kid that came up with the name, now being 9 years old, is old enough to know that he made a mistake, so I suppose we can forgive him. But I’ll never forgive the idiots in VR that approved it.
As you can tell, I feel very passionate about this.