Dismal Pillock
Michael Lynagh (62)
Behold the Season Saviour...
Auckland Blues To Infinity and Beyond
- Thread starter cyclopath
- Start date
Dismal Pillock
Michael Lynagh (62)
Dismal Pillock
Michael Lynagh (62)
R.I.P 2025 Season.
Murdered with efficient ease by The Reds in Round 11.
This Blues "performance" was a new nadir for the spanner-brained basket weaving workshop that is the Blues 2025 season. Plumbing the depths of the Tana/JK years in terms of braindead dogshit. The definition of stupidity in getting held up over the line 4 times in the first 18 minutes instead of, I dunno, chucking the fucker to any of the 6 unmarked backs pulling their toggles in acres of unmanned space just out of camera shot for minutes on end.
No Papalii and it all falls to bits.
Again.
Pat T has nothing to do with the realm of captaincy.
Rieko has nothing to do with attacking centre play. He should go back to Sevens just to familiarise himself with the sensation of what it feels like to actually run past an opposing player while holding a rugby football.
And, worst of all, Ranga Christie has nothing whatsoever to do with elite halfback play. GO AWAY YOU ORANGE FUCK.
Murdered with efficient ease by The Reds in Round 11.
This Blues "performance" was a new nadir for the spanner-brained basket weaving workshop that is the Blues 2025 season. Plumbing the depths of the Tana/JK years in terms of braindead dogshit. The definition of stupidity in getting held up over the line 4 times in the first 18 minutes instead of, I dunno, chucking the fucker to any of the 6 unmarked backs pulling their toggles in acres of unmanned space just out of camera shot for minutes on end.
No Papalii and it all falls to bits.
Again.
Pat T has nothing to do with the realm of captaincy.
Rieko has nothing to do with attacking centre play. He should go back to Sevens just to familiarise himself with the sensation of what it feels like to actually run past an opposing player while holding a rugby football.
And, worst of all, Ranga Christie has nothing whatsoever to do with elite halfback play. GO AWAY YOU ORANGE FUCK.
waiopehu oldboy
George Smith (75)
Needed a BP at the very least. Now likely to also need some other results to fall in their favour which is never a good place to be.
Dismal Pillock
Michael Lynagh (62)
Entire Auckland Blues Franchise To Be Launched Into The Heart Of The Sun
--NZ Herald--
Reports are circulating that the Auckland Blues franchise is to be decommissioned and launched into the heart of the sun.
"Yes, it's true, the salvageable parts will be sold off for scrap prior to August then the leftovers will be launched into the heart of the sun" said Auckland Blues Shadow Chairman Dr Z.E.Ro. "We'll know when the pod has impacted on the surface of the sun as a giant solar flare will occur at the moment Ranga Christie's hair makes contact with this extremely hot planet."
The Official Launch Site;
T-Minus GTFO.
"These Blues pricks and their idiotic 'organisation' have caused unimaginable heartache to all mankind over the course of the last 20 years and it's time to do the right thing for the sake of the wellbeing of all humanity" continued the Blues chairman.
"Make sure the bolts on the Ranga Shield are screwed on extra
tight. We don't want the useless little orange prick to explode into
flames before his body actually hits the sun."
--NZ Herald--
Reports are circulating that the Auckland Blues franchise is to be decommissioned and launched into the heart of the sun.
"Yes, it's true, the salvageable parts will be sold off for scrap prior to August then the leftovers will be launched into the heart of the sun" said Auckland Blues Shadow Chairman Dr Z.E.Ro. "We'll know when the pod has impacted on the surface of the sun as a giant solar flare will occur at the moment Ranga Christie's hair makes contact with this extremely hot planet."
The Official Launch Site;
T-Minus GTFO.
"These Blues pricks and their idiotic 'organisation' have caused unimaginable heartache to all mankind over the course of the last 20 years and it's time to do the right thing for the sake of the wellbeing of all humanity" continued the Blues chairman.
"Make sure the bolts on the Ranga Shield are screwed on extra
tight. We don't want the useless little orange prick to explode into
flames before his body actually hits the sun."
waiopehu oldboy
George Smith (75)
Will there be trebuchet? If you're launching something at the Sun I reckon you can't go past a good trebuchet.
Dismal Pillock
Michael Lynagh (62)
Who knew you can buy one of these off aliexpress for only $29.99 with FREE worldwide shipping?
I'm secretly hoping the contraption is faulty and has no warranty and doesnt work properly and the pricks only get halfway to the sun and then their remaining bits fall back to earth..... just so they can be relaunched back into the sun.
Dismal Pillock
Michael Lynagh (62)
Auckland Blues Reschedule Solar Launch Date.
--NZ Herald--
The Auckland Blues Shadow Chairman Dr. Z.E.Ro has today made a slight reschedule of the plan to launch the entire Auckland Blues franchise into the heart of the sun from the scheduled date of "August" to "tonight."
"Yes, tonight. From tomorrow, people need to start picking up the remnants of their shattered lives" continued the Blues chairman. "Lives shattered by the cruel and heartless destruction this corrosive rugby football franchise has wrought upon ordinary people Auckland-wide."
Auckland Blues Shadow Chairman Dr Z.E.Ro seen here already monitoring the launchsite:
"I am ready to push the launch button. To wash away the sins of the perpetrators. Did I say wash? I meant burn. Burn with the power of the sun. The actual sun."
--NZ Herald--
The Auckland Blues Shadow Chairman Dr. Z.E.Ro has today made a slight reschedule of the plan to launch the entire Auckland Blues franchise into the heart of the sun from the scheduled date of "August" to "tonight."
"Yes, tonight. From tomorrow, people need to start picking up the remnants of their shattered lives" continued the Blues chairman. "Lives shattered by the cruel and heartless destruction this corrosive rugby football franchise has wrought upon ordinary people Auckland-wide."
Auckland Blues Shadow Chairman Dr Z.E.Ro seen here already monitoring the launchsite:
"I am ready to push the launch button. To wash away the sins of the perpetrators. Did I say wash? I meant burn. Burn with the power of the sun. The actual sun."
Dismal Pillock
Michael Lynagh (62)
what has changed from last season?
Out:
Darry: mofo must have been doing something right in the engine room
Funaki: the useless dopes have REALLY missed this guy.
Akira: the beating heart of the Killdozer.
In:
BB
First to last.
I place 44% of the blame on losing Akira, 67% on Quiffboy Voldemort and 83% on that useless little red shit at halfback.
Out:
Darry: mofo must have been doing something right in the engine room
Funaki: the useless dopes have REALLY missed this guy.
Akira: the beating heart of the Killdozer.
In:
BB
First to last.
I place 44% of the blame on losing Akira, 67% on Quiffboy Voldemort and 83% on that useless little red shit at halfback.
Wilson
John Eales (66)
Tele'a banned for 3 weeks (reduced from 6):
