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All-Time Crim 1st XV

Dismal Pillock

Steve Williams (59)
breaking a TV screen and swearing
To be fair to the lad, some of those headphone jacks on the sides of the armrests can be quite difficult to find.

Statement issued by the selectors:

Mr Jantjes, we thank you for taking your first steps towards representing The Alltime Crim 1st XV.

However, you do have a LOT of work-ons if you are going to foot it with the rapists and murderers in the 1st XV. A bit of f-ing and blinding in business class isnt exactly murdering the whole cabin crew with an axe is it Elton?

DO BETTER.

BY BETTER, WE MEAN WORSE.

SHOW SOME COMMITTMENT.

COMMIT MURDER.

KILL THEM ALL.


Regards,

--Aunty Doris Gunston.
 

Drew

Colin Windon (37)
Same path as JOC (James O'Connor), acted a goose on a flight, then he started on his work ons, but weather his heart wasn’t in it or he lacked ability, he never kicked on. Maybe Jantjes will be made of sterner stuff
 

Beer Baron

Phil Hardcastle (33)
Same path as JOC (James O'Connor) (James O'Connor), acted a goose on a flight, then he started on his work ons, but weather his heart wasn’t in it or he lacked ability, he never kicked on. Maybe Jantjes will be made of sterner stuff
Well he needs at least 2 rapes or a murder to usurp the incumbent.
 

Drew

Colin Windon (37)
I am so confused right now I might have to recuse myself from the rest of the day.
I’m sure it’ll all boil over, how hard is it to pick a rugby team from the guards and inmates of a Fijian jail?. The selectors for the Wardens team might have class at their fingertips, but I reckon you’ve got a better eye for talent. Actually, the Wardens team could be the Crim XV’s opponents! Kind of like the Longest Yard
 
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Drew

Colin Windon (37)
Matt Lodge the rugby league player, famous for drunkenly menacing and assaulting couple in their apartment with a child present in NYC played a game of seconds rugby in Brisbane last week. I know one game of lower grade rugby isn’t a career, but if he keeps playing rugby he could be worth a look.
 

Tex

John Thornett (49)

A bit of a rip off of this thread on the front page, imo.

This squad would absolutely murder that motley crew of dictators, pests and miscreants.
 

Drew

Colin Windon (37)

A bit of a rip off of this thread on the front page, imo.

This squad would absolutely murder that motley crew of dictators, pests and miscreants.
This team has rugby experience and evilness. You pick Trump in the front row, but would he hold his side of the scrum up? And if he didn’t, whose fault would it be? And as an aside, are the selectors monitoring the Beale situation for if he’s eligible?
 

Tex

John Thornett (49)
Crim XV selection panel (Dismal Pillock) is watching the Beale situation closely, but noting that the selection process usually requires convictions rather than allegations.
 

Drew

Colin Windon (37)
Crim XV selection panel (Dismal Pillock) is watching the Beale situation closely, but noting that the selection process usually requires convictions rather than allegations.
Kind of like waiting for Charlie Gamble to be eligible for the Wallabies, I guess
 

zer0

Ken Catchpole (46)
Yeah that selection is pretty weal sauce. I mean, who do you want laying the foundation up front? A pack with six bona fide convicted murders getting stuck into the dirty work, or a collection of flouncy politicians used to having others to do the actual hard work? Nothing but seagullers all the way down.

EDIT: tbf, at least old Adolf was involved in literal trench warfare. Uncle Josef also got stuck into the revolution dirty work too. The rest? Jog the fk on, son.
 

Tex

John Thornett (49)
Fellas we're here to build an actual competitive rugby team from a talent puddle of convicted spivs, creeps, crooks and crims with a history of playing the glorious game.

Just throwing together a hodgepodge collection of murderers, convicts and tyrants is fine, but let's be honest they'd get reamed by your average U16 team without their various henchmen, armies and gears of merciless bureaucracy to do the dirty work for them.
 
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