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Coronavirus Self-Isolation Projects

no more sport, how will you cope?

  • become raging alkie

    Votes: 4 28.6%
  • become raging drug addict

    Votes: 4 28.6%
  • all of the above

    Votes: 3 21.4%
  • try some DIY around the house and accidentally smash the place to fucken pieces

    Votes: 3 21.4%
  • get hopelessly hooked on the daytime soapies

    Votes: 2 14.3%
  • better myself by learning a sixth language

    Votes: 1 7.1%
  • get fired from my fucken job and go live in the fucken park

    Votes: 5 35.7%
  • become one of the many lost to Soup Rugby altogether

    Votes: 2 14.3%
  • go live at Pfitzy's place

    Votes: 7 50.0%
  • wait for Cyclo to tell me what to do

    Votes: 8 57.1%

  • Total voters
    14

tragic

Arch Winning (36)
Is that you dismal?

5DB12CA9-9663-4D1D-8587-28311984377C.jpeg
 
Welcome to Gunston
Coronavirus CDC Unit.
fune13.gif
We are here to answer all your FAQ questions.
We are here to save your fucken life.
$10 a question.
creditcards1.gif
Payment in advance.
Still waiting wanker...
Righto, funds transferred, you may now read the FAQ below to save your fucken life.
Frequently Asked Questions
What is a novel coronavirus?
Probably some book or shit. Fucked if I know.
Why is the disease being called coronavirus disease 2019, COVID-19?
Well, what do you want to call it you fussy dickhead? Fucken Operation Certain Death? Disney Tits On Ice? Fucken Ballsack Batcock 666?
Why might someone blame or avoid individuals and groups because of COVID-19?
Cos some Chinese wankers still stuck in the fucken medieval Dong Dynasty days thought pangolin semen soup might give them a bit of a fucken stiffy for 8 seconds. That's fucken why.
How can people help stop stigma related to COVID-19?
Buy ALL their pangolin bumfucking a bat t-shirts from China. Good for their economy!
What is the source of the virus?
I'm no Michelin chef but putting sauce on pangolin semen soup seems a bit fucken redundant to me.
How does the virus spread?
Fuck knows. Maybe like vegemite?
Can someone who has had COVID-19 spread the illness to others?
Why, you fucken got it? You bat-fucking nutjob. Stay the fuck away from me.
Can someone who has been quarantined for COVID-19 spread the illness to others?
What the fuck is "COVID-19"? Is that the new Corona virus? Great. Just fucken great. Now there's two of the fucken things.
Can the virus that causes COVID-19 be spread through food, including refrigerated or frozen food?
You got any pies in there? Fuck I'm hungry.
What is community spread?
It's wehn you share your vegemite with other bastards
Am I at risk for COVID-19 in the United States?
Oh, fuck no. Hollywood = happy ending.
Has anyone in the United States gotten infected?
Infected with what?
Am I at risk for COVID-19 from a package or products shipping from China?
You got any of that pangolin semen soup? I heard its good for erectile dysfunction. It's for my friend.
Should I be tested for COVID-19?
Shit no. You're a lost cause.
Can a person test negative and later test positive for COVID-19?
Why, did you fucken cheat the first time? Lives are at stake here you cheating fucken lunatic.
Am I at risk if I go to a funeral or visitation service for someone who died of COVID-19?
Make sure you don't cum inside the corpse or you'll get Corona AIDS.
Am I at risk if I touch someone who died of COVID-19 after they have passed away?
If by "touch" you mean "root" then the answer is no. I mean, yes.
What do Funeral Home Workers need to know about handling decedents who had COVID-19?
Don't cum inside their arses. Finish up on the chest.
My family member died from COVID-19 while overseas. What are the requirements for returning the body to the United States?
What is CDC doing about COVID-19?
What's it to you? Nosey fucker.
Can I travel to the United States with dogs or import dogs into the United States during the COVID-19 outbreak?
Why, you making some dog-rooting vids? I want in.
Righto, that's all the FAQ you need.
Good luck you wheezing, sneezing, gasping deathbags.
We'll be seeing you soon.


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Tex

Jim Lenehan (48)
My contract ends in May so my COVID-19 project is going to involve packing my worldly belongings into a bag, hanging it off a long pole and tramping around the country with the other unemployed, singing for meals and sleeping under bridges.
 
wft is a "Rebels jersey". l0l. no such thing.

start a commune in the outback Tex. Land must be cheap out there. I'll join. Like Mad Max but a bit more peaceful. put me in charge of sunscreen operations #semen_and_mayonnaise
 
Pissed off I am all caught up with "The Handmaid's Tale". It would have been the perfectly morbid accompaniment to quarantined pandemia. Fuck yeah Aunt Lydia, ratchet up the impenetrable bleakness to disorienting and giddying levels of pitch black, Blessed Be The Bat Cock, let's double down on these inescapable end times, I want you to hurt me, you evil mad slag.
 
Latest brilliant project idea is making a I mean The Definitive Top 500 Alltime LP's list.
Guys, incredible news.

The list is finished.

Call it The Definitive Top 500 400 Best Alltime LP's

Before i post it, time for a spot quiz; there are 16 aussie albums in the list. Whoever can guess the nearest to all 16 wins a mystery prize.

There are also 17 NZ albums for the Real Experts but that7s probably more of a..... Shelbyville thing.....
 

cyclopath

Stirling Mortlock (74)
Staff member
Guys, incredible news.

The list is finished.

Call it The Definitive Top 500 400 Best Alltime LP's

Before i post it, time for a spot quiz; there are 16 aussie albums in the list. Whoever can guess the nearest to all 16 wins a mystery prize.

There are also 17 NZ albums for the Real Experts but that7s probably more of a... Shelbyville thing...
Playing for a mystery prize from Dismal? I cannot even begin to imagine what could go wrong.
 
Call it The Definitive Top 500 400 430 Best Alltime LP's
57 Nick Cave - No More Shall We Part
72 Nick Cave - The Boatman's Call
94 Nick Cave - Murder Ballads
118 Midnight Oil - 10, 9, 8
130 Midnight Oil - Red Sails In The Sunset
132 feedtime - s/t
144 Nick Cave - Dig, Lazarus, Dig
177 Eddy Current Suppression Ring - s/t
210 AC/DC - Let There Be Rock
217 Nick Cave - Abattoir Blues
252 Ed Kuepper - Honey's Steel Gold
259 Eddy Current Suppression Ring - Primary Colours
342 Ed Kuepper - Electrical Storm
352 AC/DC-Back in Black
364 Ed Kuepper - Everybody's Got To
387 King Snake Roost - Things That Play Themselves
391 UV Race - Homo
423 The Saints -Eternally Yours
424 The Saints - I'm Stranded
427 The Birthday party - Junkyard
 

Tex

Jim Lenehan (48)
My project is noble. It's not gardening or home improvement, nor learning a language or mastering yoga or meditation.

It's finishing Zelda: Breath of the Wild, which I'd argue is as big a feat as learning Finnish.
 
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