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Coronavirus Self-Isolation Projects

no more sport, how will you cope?

  • become raging alkie

    Votes: 4 28.6%
  • become raging drug addict

    Votes: 4 28.6%
  • all of the above

    Votes: 3 21.4%
  • try some DIY around the house and accidentally smash the place to fucken pieces

    Votes: 3 21.4%
  • get hopelessly hooked on the daytime soapies

    Votes: 2 14.3%
  • better myself by learning a sixth language

    Votes: 1 7.1%
  • get fired from my fucken job and go live in the fucken park

    Votes: 5 35.7%
  • become one of the many lost to Soup Rugby altogether

    Votes: 2 14.3%
  • go live at Pfitzy's place

    Votes: 7 50.0%
  • wait for Cyclo to tell me what to do

    Votes: 8 57.1%

  • Total voters
    14

Teh Other Dave

Alan Cameron (40)
Got a couple on the boil now. I tried to clean some old carpet with soapy water (IDIOT!) and am now learning how to properly lift it, dry it and restretch it. Useful but avoidable.

I've cycled the distance of Melbourne to Mildura in the last month, all within 5km of home and in ~1h increments. I also picked up a skipping rope yesterday. All in the name of burning the excess energy that isolation is building.

This sounds like the Sri Chimnoy Transcendental
 

Tex

John Thornett (49)
This sounds like the Sri Chimnoy Transcendental

Not quite that level of focus but there have been times when I've questioned my sanity.

The other fun project (provided you're slightly OCD and a bike geek) has been called "burbing", where you attempt to cycle every named street and lane within a suburb. I'm slowly chipping away at Coburg (fairly large area in the northern suburbs of Melbourne) with a friend. We'll meet up for an hour over lunch and cruise around having a chat. It's a bit repetitive and given the area, involves too many cobblestone lanes, but we're seeing lots of new places and shooting the shit.
 

Braveheart81

Will Genia (78)
Staff member
Not so much a COVID project but given the timing and the fact that it doesn't really fit anywhere, the first waratah from our plant has bloomed after planting it a couple of years ago.

Waratah.jpg


They should get bigger and better formed each year. This one should still improve as it finishes blooming and turns more red.
 

cyclopath

George Smith (75)
Staff member
Not so much a COVID project but given the timing and the fact that it doesn't really fit anywhere, the first waratah from our plant has bloomed after planting it a couple of years ago.

View attachment 11819

They should get bigger and better formed each year. This one should still improve as it finishes blooming and turns more red.

So, a bit like Lukhan Salakaia-Loto?
 

Dismal Pillock

Simon Poidevin (60)
That's not a waratah.

This is a waratah.

https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/f/FF (Folau Fainga'a)/Waratah%2C_New_Zealand.jpg/200px-Waratah%2C_New_Zealand.jpg

"A waratah is a flower".

LOLL!

Like anyone would name a rugby team after a stupid flower.
 

Dctarget

John Eales (66)
I've finally had it with my old man's neglected court yard. I've ordered a pressure washer and have made the yard's rejuvenation my iso-project.

Fielding suggestions for low-maintenance (don't trust him to do upkeep) plants for the flowerbeds that border the courtyard.
 

Tex

John Thornett (49)
I've finally had it with my old man's neglected court yard. I've ordered a pressure washer and have made the yard's rejuvenation my iso-project.

Fielding suggestions for low-maintenance (don't trust him to do upkeep) plants for the flowerbeds that border the courtyard.

Athens concrete mate, no worries!
 

Dismal Pillock

Simon Poidevin (60)
Convinced I have the Rona brainfog. Either that or fullblown early onset Alzheimers. Few months ago I noticed I was buggering up the typing out of words first thing in the morning. Not typos either. Just way off words in the wrong fucking place every now and then.

I heard the Alzi's lose control of their bowel functions towards the end. Better nip out and buy some man nappies. Camp Leader shouldnt be unduly alarmed. She's seen worse.

I try to visit this forum on a daily basis to keep my brain stimulated and ward off the Alzheimers but it doesnt seem to be working.

Whatever could be going wrong?

FFS.

LOL.
 

cyclopath

George Smith (75)
Staff member
Convinced I have the Rona brainfog. Either that or fullblown early onset Alzheimers. Few months ago I noticed I was buggering up the typing out of words first thing in the morning. Not typos either. Just way off words in the wrong fucking place every now and then.

I heard the Alzi's lose control of their bowel functions towards the end. Better nip out and buy some man nappies. Camp Leader shouldnt be unduly alarmed. She's seen worse.

I try to visit this forum on a daily basis to keep my brain stimulated and ward off the Alzheimers but it doesnt seem to be working.

Whatever could be going wrong?

FFS.

LOL.
You're fine. When you log in each day with a different spelling of Dismal Pillock we'll get an MRI.
 

Dismal Pillock

Simon Poidevin (60)
Film Pitch

Working title: "The Corona's Are On Me".

Genre: Action

Premise: The year is 2034 and the USA is unable to get more than 60% of its citizens Rona vaccinated due to false information/nutjobs etc. The subsequent increasingly virulent strains are slowly wiping these dopes out anyway but the US govt, led by President Johnson (Dwayne) loses patience and decides to "finish the job" by bringing in the military to inoculate the final few millions of resistors with pfizer-loaded tranquilizer guns. Let the hunt begin!

Brutally-Honest Meeting Room Pitch to Film Execs: "It can't fail! It's just one 3-hour long video-game safari hunt. Plus both sides can root for their guyz! Anti-vaxxers get their underground resistance types, the rest of us can see anti-vaxxers get hunted down like wild livestock! Are you AIDS-faced cnuts even listening to me? Ching ching motherfuckers!"

Location: The sweep starts along the length of the US/Canadian border and pushes down, door to door, hand to hand, down, down, until it finally gets to the Mexican border where the lasting remaining limping insurgents are pushed into the Rio Grande.

Lead Actor: The Rock.

Lead Military Actor: Rictus Erectus

Trailer Line: "Take your goddamn sweaty disgusting bloody facemasks and try your luck in Mexico, hombres! The Corona's are on me!" (Rictus)
 

Dismal Pillock

Simon Poidevin (60)
Welcome to...

The Gunston Hospital For
The Unvaccinated (GTFO).

https://wilsonvillebroadcastnetwork.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/05/CDC-logo-.jpg

Welcome, shit-for-brains!

Welcome to The Gunston Hospital For The Unvaccinated (GTFO).

Reckon the Rona is a big crock of shit?

Haven't had the vaccine but now suddenly feeling a bit crook with Rona symptoms?

Come on down to The Gunston Hospital For The Unvaccinated (GTFO).

https://hosting.photobucket.com/images/v221/Bent/fune13.gif

The CDC have authorised us to exclusively treat the unvaccinated here in our friendly, family-run hospital so that the mental selfish wankers don't clog up the regular hospitals where vaccinated people go!

Yes, just for dragging us sensible, responsible, vaccinated citizens down to your mental tooth-fairy 5G spacker level, we have been authorised by the CDC to give you the WORST fucken medical treatment imaginable inside possibly the shittiest hospital in the world.

It's what you deserve, you fucken mental conspiracy-theory crackpotted cnuts.

Believe me, you MAGAfuck mouthbreather, you do NOT want to end up in this hospital. We don't give a fuck if you die. You clearly don't care about us vaxxed citizens getting on with life so no more life for you, arsehole. Still dont want the vaccine? Sorry I can't hear you, too late now anyway, this way please you fat wheezing goatbrained fuckherded shartspray.

Let's Meet The Staff* at The Gunston Hospital For The Unvaccinated (GTFO)
*these are last people you will ever see! Gunston Guarantee!

https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/proxy/R-vNHVimicZKkjMl1cOJ_VMHmFm0Inmb49hY1m2WuKHJfWyu33W4qtn0TyS3hfYiaUzw0Zes3UmgmVLkTrkbdJ83xkeMmIq2c-fsZA4=s0-d
Wayne Gunston
(Reception)

"The fuck do you want MAGA wanker?"
"I got the Rona and need urgent medical treatment".
"Take a number fuckface. Gene's busy so the waiting time is about three days".
"What? 3 days?"
"Don't have a fucken cry about it, you'll be dead within two. Waiting room is through there. Next!"


https://static.wixstatic.com/media/f2d9cc_4e536f58b0f44f66b2d2f85baecfc5a9~mv2.jpg/v1/fill/w_734,h_487,al_c,lg_1,q_80/furnace.webp






https://lh6.googleusercontent.com/proxy/4BwhuOzuSUMA-1TfHntKoYxUZUY_BJJ4cA--wKlUKwI-j-hujNTBg9w2H05HA6NEDH_tDmvfyCciKtzAxaDCkZ09QfOkqFBSLsOTxJId=s0-d
Gene Gunston
(Chief Nurse)

"Had the vax c**t?"
"No, Donnie told me it was all lies and I
"Hold still you fat fucking wackjob while I intubate you with this big fat filthy fucken garden hose. Right down your throat, c**t. It's to help you breathe. Try not to gag on the fucken thing. Yes, the garden hose is still covered in Rona smeg and blood and lungsnot from the last hare-brained dickhead who had the fucken thing in him 5 minutes ago and just died. We don't even bother to wash it anymore. Fuckit, you're not worth it. Why bother, you're gonna die in a coupla days anyway. Now then, try not to move, this won't hurt a bit hahahaha....

https://static.wixstatic.com/media/f2d9cc_4e536f58b0f44f66b2d2f85baecfc5a9~mv2.jpg/v1/fill/w_734,h_487,al_c,lg_1,q_80/furnace.webp

"Did you bring your sleeping bag? No? Well, how is that my fault genius? Sorry, I can't hear you. You sound really sick. Maybe you should've taken that Corona vaccine. See you in the morning. Don't pull the hose out. Pleasant dreams".





https://hosting.photobucket.com/albums/v221/Bent/mugs/.highres/roggavaskar.jpg
Roger Gavaskar.
(Chief Pilot)

As a medical facility, we don't really have any need for a licensed aeroplane pilot. But Rog is a good bloke so he's on the payroll. The CDC hasn't asked any pesky questions about it yet so mum's the word ffs.








https://lh6.googleusercontent.com/proxy/LhqXF7QJ1bioQY0V0ugDxjVM8SaCbu58ZZaLwRALGXff0-xZIsj2nsxf3yedTh27fnG5ZK3orJGJXyvkJBMq3BvElS-xUsqCfbPT4ddrTk-49IhU-NgRNVI=s0-d
Trevor Gunston
(Corpse Disposal)

gunstonundertakers.wixsite.com/death

https://img.photobucket.com/albums/v221/Bent/pics/gunstonunder_zpscnczzaki.png
https://hosting.photobucket.com/albums/v221/Bent/crime/.highres/creditcards1.gif?width=1920&height=1080&fit=bounds https://hosting.photobucket.com/albums/v221/Bent/crime/.highres/creditcards1.gif?width=1920&height=1080&fit=bounds https://hosting.photobucket.com/albums/v221/Bent/crime/.highres/creditcards1.gif?width=1920&height=1080&fit=bounds







https://lh6.googleusercontent.com/proxy/THMl5FPafPXqizX3SYEv-4F_ML090a8ggijHm_rn6FbYoVT7AZLTQeNkaK7XuvNEOYFhnNa-El0hcw_DHyE9phS4JrLdSU9qxwk=s0-d
Aunty Doris Gunston
(Billing & Taxidermy)

"But I don't understand. My mother died of the Corona virus and now you're billing us $265,998?"
"My Bernina doesn't run on fumes, wanker."
"What does that even mean? Why are you using a sewing machi
"You want an open casket viewing of a human puddle?"
"...................no..."
"Pay up then fuckface".
"Jesus. Hold on, what is this charge, $8,000 for a sleeping bag?"
"Dead dickhead didn't bring their own so we kindly provided one to keep the heartless MAGA fuckwit warm at night. You're welcome now pay up and get the fuck out c**t".


Righto, that's the team, yes, the last people you unvaccinated shartmonkeys will ever see on this planet. Haha, imagine Gene Gunston's face being the last thing you ever see. Sometimes he starts chainsawing the corpses up so they fit in the furnace before the wheezing wankers are even properly dead yet hahaha.

Righto, see ya soon, Magashart.

https://lh6.googleusercontent.com/proxy/4BwhuOzuSUMA-1TfHntKoYxUZUY_BJJ4cA--wKlUKwI-j-hujNTBg9w2H05HA6NEDH_tDmvfyCciKtzAxaDCkZ09QfOkqFBSLsOTxJId=s0-d
The vaccine is not real and this is the last
face you will ever see. Nighty night, shithead.


https://hosting.photobucket.com/images/v221/Bent/fune13.gif
https://wilsonvillebroadcastnetwork.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/05/CDC-logo-.jpg
 

Dismal Pillock

Simon Poidevin (60)
OHFFFS. Camp Leader tests positive now I'm stuck indoors isolating for a whole week with the mad slag.

Just me and the laptop.... I will be online A LOT..... #please_stop_me_b4_I_kill_again

Rona projects; made a start on the Official 2022 Soccer World Cup website:

 
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