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New Zealand Rugby Team Watch

Derpus

Rod McCall (65)
What's the deal with Havili? Doesn't seem to bring much. Not particularly dominant in defense, doesn't seem to break the line or make post contact metres. He didn't even really seem to fire a shot against us, while all his other backline brethren were cutting us to ribbons.
 

Dan54

Michael Lynagh (62)
Have to say Havili seems to struggle a bit against big bodies, he a
What's the deal with Havili? Doesn't seem to bring much. Not particularly dominant in defense, doesn't seem to break the line or make post contact metres. He didn't even really seem to fire a shot against us, while all his other backline brethren were cutting us to ribbons.
Have to say Derps, Havili does struggle a little against big bodies in mid field I think. I really like his play normally, he a proper 2nd 5 rather than inside centre, but needs to adjust against big boys!
 
got my hands on this internal review memo from NZRFU. Not pretty reading.

NZRFU RC 2021 Executive Review

Players are graded from 0-10. Players graded 5 or below are not to be retained.

Hookers

Asafo Aumua: 5. Learn to throw, c**t.
Codie Taylor: 5. No longer seems to be The Guy.
Samisoni T: 8. We've seen the future.

Props

Nepo Laulala: 4. Useless pudding fuck. Look c**t, if you dont WANT to play for the New Zealand Rugby Football All Blacks then we can oblige. Maybe you could look at alternative routes of employment, maybe a bus driver, or a forklift driver? You know, a job where you get paid to SIT ON YOUR FAT FUCKING ARSE ALL DAY.
Tyrel Lomax: 5. almost coming on after lacksadaisical start
Joe Moody: 6. coming back from injury so gets benefit of doubt. Might want to pull finger on EOYTFFS
Angus Ta’avao: 1. bye bye now.
Karl Tu’inukuafe: 3 Seems to enjoy being an All Black. The whole AB culture thing. See the world. Ride on nice buses. Newsflash;- winning 1 scrum penalty a match is not good enouuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuugh Kaaarrrrrllllllll.
Ofa Tuungafasi: 6. See Moody.


tl/dr our props are shit.

Locks

Scott Barrett: 4. Good ol' Scrote Barrett. Another 2 brainfarts last night saw him penalised for 6 pts. In essence, he lost us another test match.
Brodie Retallick: 4. The end is near. Spindly. No longer a colossus
Patrick Tuipulotu: 1. Fucking pathetic. A foodbill. STILL has virtually no spatial instincts on defense. Lead feet. No lateral movement. Subs on for impact and is immediately exhausted. Looks good in the airport lounge though. All Airport XV.
Tupou Vaa’i: 6. Short but he's all we got going forward ffs
Samuel Whitelock: 10. his absence has seen his status elevated to moustachioed saviour at the reins of a winged chariot borne on the tempestuous winds of vigour.
disclaimer: chariot is out of warranty and could fall apart at any second


tl/dr in big fucken trouble here


Loose Forwards

Ethan Blackadder: 7
. The kids a keeper. He's got the Mccaw "no one will try harder than me" thing about him
Akira Ioane: 5. Looked to have it figured out then got bumraped in the showers by a cluster of very large and enthusiastic South African men.
Luke Jacobson: 5. "You see that guy over there named Duane Vermuelen? Now THAT'S a #8."
Dalton Papalii: 8. Another who7s stock rose due to playing less.
Ardie Savea: 7. Yes, he's a 7.
Hoskins Sotutu: 7. Ltd time but with all those above him COMPLETELY FUCKIGN EVERYTHIGN UP he looks like a promising option. Particularly his racey lineout skills
Sam Cane: 10. Stock has risen exponentially in absentia but another who could fall off The Soaialo Cliff at any second


tl/dr bit of promise here but Fozzie has his work cut out finding the right combo


Halfbacks

TJ Perenara: 4. CAN'T FUCKIGN PASS. IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK? THAT YOU LEARN TO PASS? If you put half as much effort into your passing as you did your haka gurning you'd be chucking the c**t halfway to the fucking moon. Official NZRFU Position: wish the cnut had gone to league
Aaron Smith: 10. obviously, in absentia, the AB's best player is the moon on a stick, nay, a galaxy of moons upon sticks.
Brad Weber: 6. did a job as a fill in for the Fakatava contract



First five–eighths

Beauden Barrett: 5. sorry champ, you STILL ain't a 1st 5's arse.
Richie Mo’unga: 8. needs his forwards to set platform though, otherwise his pygmy arse is fuuuuuuucked


Midfielders

Braydon Ennor: 0. WUT? Who the fuck is this?
David Havili: 5. showed some nice skills and promise vs Aus and Arg.... then ran into de allende and Am who took all his lunch money and left him crying in a puddle.
Rieko Ioane: 7. got the sharpness back but for a senior AB still goes missing for too long
Anton Lienert-Brown: 4. Midfielders are supposed to break tackles. I reckon I could take down this fat putz still dining out on his 2018 rep.
Quinn Tupaea: 8. There could be something to work with here going forward.

tl/dr Nonu and Conrad seems like a loooooonnnnng time ago ffs


Outside backs

Jordie Barrett: 9. OMFG cut out the brainfarts and see what happens.
George Bridge: -1. The first ever negative rating for an All Black. Please abandon him at a rural roadside somewhere in Wales. Anywhere in Wales really.
Will Jordan: 8. rough diamond defensively but try scoring machiiiiiiiiiine fffs
Damian McKenzie: 4. LOL bye bye stumpy
Sevu Reece: 6. wifebeater is the bizness


tl/dr
ffs Fozzie could one of you gravy train coach cnuts PLEASE teach these outside backs, aside from Jordie, to field the high ball? Or at least compete for it? Is that too much to ask you foodbill fuckks? THANKS.
 
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ScoBar returning home
First birth?

Could make some terrible off-colour remark about how it's a miracle that penalty magnate Scrote Barrett managed to impregnate the poor woman without clumsily accidentally clattering into her head and concussing her and getting "yellow carded" to the basement by her but I'll refrain out of respect for the woman's privacy.
 

Dan54

Michael Lynagh (62)
I reckon BB had a bloody good
ScoBar & PatT returning home (Dr W.F.T Blundershart III will be thrilled), Josh Lord called in as replacement which comes as a surprise, I thought PPP was nxt on the depth chart.

Good call on Josh Lord, I actually need to go into another rugby forum where I suggested him last week, and just remind them to listen :p :p ;)
 

waiopehu oldboy

Jason Little (69)
When announcing Josh Lord's callup, "Foster confirmed on Tuesday that last year’s skipper, Sam Cane, would be part of a group including veteran hooker Dane Coles, 127-test lock Sam Whitelock, loose forward Shannon Frizell and young Taranaki lock Josh Lord who would join the All Blacks in Washington DC to supplement their northern tour party. The quintet are scheduled to fly out of New Zealand on Thursday week and would arrive in the US ahead of the All Blacks party who will have a training camp in Australia next week."

Also, ScoBar & PatT are really lucky guys, both managed to score an MIQ place in the most recent ballot when tens of thousands of others missed out which seems an extraordinary coincidence.
 

Dan54

Michael Lynagh (62)
When announcing Josh Lord's callup, "Foster confirmed on Tuesday that last year’s skipper, Sam Cane, would be part of a group including veteran hooker Dane Coles, 127-test lock Sam Whitelock, loose forward Shannon Frizell and young Taranaki lock Josh Lord who would join the All Blacks in Washington DC to supplement their northern tour party. The quintet are scheduled to fly out of New Zealand on Thursday week and would arrive in the US ahead of the All Blacks party who will have a training camp in Australia next week."

Also, ScoBar & PatT are really lucky guys, both managed to score an MIQ place in the most recent ballot when tens of thousands of others missed out which seems an extraordinary coincidence.
I actually wondering if there something we haven't heard about ScoBar and PT, seems a little strange his wife suddenly is going to have first baby after he was taken off at halftime on weekend after another couple of dumb penalties. Maybe with no test this weekend my mind hasn't enough to think on but.............will watch this space!
I not sure why the MIQ space would be too coincidental, as probably sharing room and some people get them some don't!
 

waiopehu oldboy

Jason Little (69)
^ well according to Fozzie it was all pre-planned but subject to them winning the MIQ lottery. Which they both did which is bound to piss off a heap of other athletes not to mention Joe & Jane Averages who've missed out in two or three ballots now :rolleyes:

Edit: in the second MIQ ballot 3718 rooms were available & there were 31,319 applicants resulting in 6231 people securing a place. Not quite Lotto Powerball odds but still causing a few raised eyebrows.
 
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Dan54

Michael Lynagh (62)
^ well according to Fozzie it was all pre-planned but subject to them winning the MIQ lottery. Which they both did which is bound to piss off a heap of other athletes not to mention Joe & Jane Averages who've missed out in two or three ballots now :rolleyes:

Edit: in the second MIQ ballot 3718 rooms were available & there were 31,319 applicants resulting in 6231 people securing a place. Not quite Lotto Powerball odds but still causing a few raised eyebrows.
Hell I was reading of someone from around here who was saying it great, he got in on first attempt at ever booking one, and mates who been trying for months (like my son) missed out. I just shrug and go c'est la vie!
Actuall read they had a few more players that were set to return , SB and PT were it seems on top of list, and as they only got a couple of spots they got em!
 
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Dan54

Michael Lynagh (62)
Was also interesting to hear Foster say, if they had their way,it would of been a whole knew squad named for NH tour, but couldn't because of MIQ etc. You would imagine there would of been a prop or 2 etc not going.
 

waiopehu oldboy

Jason Little (69)
So even though Folau Fakatawa came to NZ at 16 his residency qualification didn't start until he turned 18 therefore he's not eligible until he turns 23 on 16/12/22. NZR are "working on it" with WR.

 

Dan54

Michael Lynagh (62)
So even though Folau Fakatawa came to NZ at 16 his residency qualification didn't start until he turned 18 therefore he's not eligible until he turns 23 on 16/12/22. NZR are "working on it" with WR.

Apparently he qualified this year, but as he wasn't picked because of injury, it pushes it back 2 years.
 

waiopehu oldboy

Jason Little (69)
^ fell into the gap between the old & new residency requirements which I presume is the grounds on which NZR are asking WR to take another look. Just a thought but where does it say you can't name a player who can't actually play?
 

Derpus

Rod McCall (65)
^ fell into the gap between the old & new residency requirements which I presume is the grounds on which NZR are asking WR to take another look. Just a thought but where does it say you can't name a player who can't actually play?
Can understand why they are keen. TJP is shite these days.
 

Dan54

Michael Lynagh (62)
^ fell into the gap between the old & new residency requirements which I presume is the grounds on which NZR are asking WR to take another look. Just a thought but where does it say you can't name a player who can't actually play?
The rules change from 16 to 18 if you not capped this year (which he would of been without injury), but you can only be a capped player by taking the field, you can't be named and not play.
 
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