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NFL Football

NFL BoofBall is

  • what the, where's the ball, oh, there it is, ah shit they've stopped again. Another timeout? GAHH!

    Votes: 6 31.6%
  • Rugby, ruined

    Votes: 2 10.5%
  • Vicious and awesome

    Votes: 7 36.8%
  • Embarrassing pants

    Votes: 2 10.5%
  • Stupid

    Votes: 2 10.5%
  • Foreign

    Votes: 3 15.8%
  • Excuse me, did you just call me foreign?

    Votes: 2 10.5%
  • Prefer not to say

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • C

    Votes: 2 10.5%
  • How much for the Monet?

    Votes: 4 21.1%

  • Total voters
    19

The torpedo

Peter Fenwicke (45)
New England lost

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Dismal Pillock

Simon Poidevin (60)
KC Cheifs vs Tennesseseesee Titans. Wild Card Game

TENNESSEE TITANIC TITTIE TASSLES! Epic game, down 3-21 and they run down the dumbarse KC Chiefs 22-21. KC have now cleverly managed to lose 12 of last 13 playoff games? l0ll. Serves them right for taking valuable playoff space away from The RRRAAAAAIIDERS. KC Cheifs = Buffalo Bills of early playoff rounds
 

Dismal Pillock

Simon Poidevin (60)
thanks god I only turned up for the last quarter of Bills vs Jags this morn. 10-3 and it sounds like it was a total cripple fight

following that, N.O Saints vs Panthers was a boomer. Good job, pea-hearted show pony Cam Newton is going home.

weird how so many of these running backs these days are just whippet thin, no guns at all. eg the Saints pair, Kamera and the other bloke. Game has changed, its a speed fest now. Even the safeties and some of the LB's are gunless speed merchants.
 

Dismal Pillock

Simon Poidevin (60)
oops, 1 year later and the boofball is back on the telly again. 7 hours straight today.

The Indianapolis Clots: 13
KC Chiefs: 31. comms having a massive fap over Mahones but I reckon its the steamroller Rams that will go all the way. They dumped the Cowboys out today and just steamrollered them really. I think the Cowboys have now won a total of 3 playoff games this century. Even the dumpshit Auckland Blues have won more than that and the Blues aren't even America's Team.
 

Dismal Pillock

Simon Poidevin (60)
2019 season now and woah, it looks like the Patriots have reupped their crossroads deal. This time in perpetuity.

They made the Pittsburgh Steelers look like the babies of children. Tom Brady is 42 years old and looks like he subsists solely on mammal placenta and condor eggs.
 

Dismal Pillock

Simon Poidevin (60)
So unhappy that the Patriots are going to win again.
It was a bloodless execution. Tom would have to miss a whole monthly shipment of dried Tibetan yeti blood platelets for it to go awry from here. In week 1.

Week 2 and a goddamn thrilling birdie match-up of Falcons vs Eagles. Back and forth it went. The 3 hours and 800 commercial breaks actually flew by.

It just belatedly dawned on me that I enjoy watching the boofball more than some rugby matches.

Viewing pref's ranked:

1 All Black test match rugby football
2 Auckland Blues rugby (idiot)
3 NFL BoofBall
4 NZ soup rugby
5 SH test match rugby football
6 the shifting movements of strato cumulii cloud formations
7 foreigners soup rugby
8 the snot of a small child slowly drying on a wall
9 NH rugby
 

Dismal Pillock

Simon Poidevin (60)
Woah, the hated Patriots had conceded just FOUR td's all season enroute to 8-0 record. Then today Ravens run amok against them and go to town and back leaving smeg skidmarks all up and down their faces. 37 pts. The Lamar Jackson Show

After not seeing any BoofBall for 2 months and going back after watching 87 straight rugby matches it was a bit weird. Dudes casually jogging into touch. Some guy smashes a guy right in the fucking brains and I'm thinking "straight red, 6 month ban" and the ref says "meh, I'll march ya 10 for that."

A cracker of a clanger from Collinsworth in the comm box too: "They just come inside the big tight end."
 

Dismal Pillock

Simon Poidevin (60)
Squeaky bumcrack time for Houston Oilers as the Buffalo Billbo Baggins cough up 3Q wild card 16-0 lead in OT. Great game.

Next up, Darth and his Death Star stormtroopers to get bundled out by Tennesseeessessee
 

Dismal Pillock

Simon Poidevin (60)
tumblr_mk09s7IZQW1qgzqnco5_r2_250.gif
O Henry, his stories are short
but his gains are long, see him
here piloting The Millenium Dunglock
away having JUST DESTROYED THE
DEATH STAR DYNASTY YEAHHHH BAYYBYYY
 

Teh Other Dave

Alan Cameron (40)
Wait but weren't Tennessee originally the Oilers? And the Buffalo Bills haven't been in the playoffs since the Oilers were in Houston. Or is that since Warren Moon left the CFL?
 

Dismal Pillock

Simon Poidevin (60)
Wait but weren't Tennessee originally the Oilers? And the Buffalo Bills haven't been in the playoffs since the Oilers were in Houston. Or is that since Warren Moon left the CFL?

Please refrain from attempting to confuse me with random foreign place names. Whether there are rabbit warrens on the moon or not is still up for debate. Jim Kelly was clearly on inactive reserve yesterday.

I wonder how "ineligible man downfield" is adjudicated? Some poor fat bugger got pinged yesterday and it just looked like a wandering rando mess. Holy shit they have a LOT of refs. Laughable that rugby has ONE. Amazed to see that BoofBall even has 3 alternate refs roaming the sideline to pitch in, just in case the regular crew of 18 missed anything
 

Teh Other Dave

Alan Cameron (40)
I only saw the highlights, but he was wearing a number 50-69 wasn't he? Ineligible receiver. Sometimes teams will put a fat bugger into a receiver jersey, declare another receiver as eligible and only put 4 in the scrimmage and a fifth on the neutral zone, but make sure they don't charge forward. Eligible fat bugger runs forward unhindered, takes the pass for a first down, comes off for a well-earned sandwich. Think it happens more in college football, but I watch fuckall NFL let alone any college ball these days.
 

Dismal Pillock

Simon Poidevin (60)
declare another receiver as eligible

I do like the idea of them wheeling out a wood-panelled lecturn amidst the frenzied caroming-about of the helmeted behemoths and some old coachy bloke pipes up to announce "um, we would like to declare number 66 eligible as a re....." just as some giant boofheads arse accidentally smashes into the fucken thing sending planks and bits of wood and old bloke flying everywhere
 

AngrySeahorse

Peter Sullivan (51)
NFL is only second to Rugby in our house. Grew up with the old "they wear pads and helmets whatever" biz, gave it a chance and never looked back. Love it. Thankfully due to my irregular shift work hours of late ive been able to watch the games live!

Im a Seahawk fan. Gritty, makes green and blue look good together, next to the ocean, russell wilson, and finally its the birth place of grunge - i was a teen in the 90s so following the hawks feels mandatory for that reason alone. Other teams i tend to root for outside of seattle would be detroit lions, bills, raiders.

I picked every winner last week except the Saints. That team is just cursed. Ive made a note never to pick them in the finals again.

This week is harder to pick. History says the wild card team hasnt done well but i think those stats may be skewed due to the Pats not being a wild card for most of their dominant years.

Not making picks as its too hard but heres the arguement for either team to win.

Ravens v Titans (Tits): Im torn. Ive enjoyed watching the Lamar Jackson show but ive also enjoyed the titans revival with tannehill at qb - what a come back story. Also its hard to go against the team that knocked the pats out. My mother and i danced when it happened, theyve been in the sb enough already. Time for someone else!!! Both teams running games cancel each other out - Lamar can run and so can ingram but the tits have derrick henry who absolutely brains opponents. This could mean it comes down to the passing game, tannehill might have a slight advantage. Im considering putting a small wager on tennesses line bet cause they could keep it close.

49ers v Viks: 49ers have been rocky at home. Viks confidence would be sky high after knocking the saints off at the dome. Jimmy G is a rookie qb and historically they dont do well in these games. On the flip side 49ers needed the bye to prepare and sort out some injuries so they'll be ready to go. Viks have the team to do it and cousins now has that monday night footy hoodoo off his back its a question of recovery from a short turn around. 49ers rightful favs, viks very capable of an upset.

Chiefs v Texans: Texans looked terrible in the first 2 quarters vs the bills and since i backed them to win it was a painfully stressful game to watch. Bills great D all year but their lack of ability to put on points hurt them in the end. Texans beat chiefs earlier in the year but mahomes was not playing. Andy reid is something like 23 wins and 2 losses off a bye week. Add in pat mahomes. Im saying chiefs.

Green bay v Seahawks: This game should be called "the ugly bowl" both teams have got this far through a lot of uninspiring games. Logic says back rodgers at home and seattle has a poor record at green bay. Seattle after knocking out philly is now officially the most banged up team left now getting back beast mode and on their 4th RB. Seattle have a good record of keeping games tight when they have no business being in the game. Everybody is on gb it seems but i hope russell can pull off a big play and win it for the hawks.

What do you reckon dismal?
 

Braveheart81

Will Genia (78)
Staff member
I only saw the highlights, but he was wearing a number 50-69 wasn't he? Ineligible receiver. Sometimes teams will put a fat bugger into a receiver jersey, declare another receiver as eligible and only put 4 in the scrimmage and a fifth on the neutral zone, but make sure they don't charge forward. Eligible fat bugger runs forward unhindered, takes the pass for a first down, comes off for a well-earned sandwich. Think it happens more in college football, but I watch fuckall NFL let alone any college ball these days.


It doesn't just matter about the jersey number. Players who aren't eligible receivers can be if they are in the right position (at the end of the O Line on the line of scrimmage) or in the backfield. They have to nominate as eligible before the snap.

In the Bills vs Pats game a few weeks ago, Dion Dawkins caught a "fat boy" TD after nominating as eligible
and being in the right position to do that.
 
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