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Richie McCaw's Web Blog


Tony Shaw (54)
Well Dismal fixed the 'web log' circus so what else was MB to do?

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
Richie McCaw's Web Blog
Hi fellas.
Richie here again.
Just back from a photography expedition. Took some pics for my old mate Roger. Over to you, Rog.
Good evening. Roger Gavaskar here. You can call me "Roger." All of my friends do. I had never been in an aeroplane before but my good friend Javed recently talked me into it.​
Our trip would take us from Darwin, Australia around Sumatra up through the islands then up to the barren snowy alps of Hokkaido in Japan. We would land for refueling twice. And yes, Javed does have experience landing as well as taking off, if you please. We were accompanied by an escort craft flown by a seasoned and sober pilot, my friend named Richard from Christchurch, New Zealand. We remain indebted to him for taking so many fine, fine photographs.​
We set off from Darwin International airport at 0800 hours. Crisp clear weather, we would surely make good time on this day!​
Taxiing out to our runway here. "Clean up on aisle 7."​
"Breaker, breaker, Roger, copy that."​
It's funny because my name is Roger.​
I needed to use the restroom quite badly at this juncture.​
At this point, to my slight distress, Javed began smoking a marijuana cigarette.​
Hope we're not running low on benzine.​
Old picture in my camera, either Darwin or the river Euphrates. Probably Darwin.​
Gave Javed a pretty stern talking to after this completely unnecessary show-off bank turn.​
Last thing we need are shattered flaggons of loquat wine sherry in the back.​
Headed North by North-West, Javed said. What with all​
the smoke in the cabin, I couldn't see a dashed thing.​
Over Darwin now, to the top right you can just make out Tanzania.​
Where eagles dare.​
That's our plane in the centre.​
To the right you can make out the horizon.​
Was so moved by this scenery that I had to nip back to the cargo hold​
to practise my five-fingered Hindu shuffle (I am an amateaur magician.)​
Whao! The contrails of a big old jet airliner. I think it's also​
traveling in the same airspace as we are, but at a higher altitude.​
"Special agent Jack Bauer, do you copy??"​
Passing over Dr Evils lair now.​
These are the Ganges rivers near Palembang, Sumatra.​
"Just another loquat sherrrrrry sunriiise."​


Up in the islands now. Hairy landing this one, we were both stewed to the gills on loquat sherry at the time.


Javed SAID he learned Landing at flight school.


Take-off the next day. It looks like we're going to hit that little tower but really we're not.


It's a holiday in Cambodia! No need to pack a wife!


Quite a heated discussion between Javed and I as to whether this island resembled the boot of Italy.

Or course it does, Javed, you marijuana addict.


On "Auto Pilot" now. AP that, Roger.


Nose up, Javed, nose up! No time to be playing palm pilot now.


So beautiful. It almost doesn't look real.


At this stage I was remarking that I felt like James Boned.

Richie McCaw's Web Blog

Hi fellas.

Richie here again.


In the U.S.A with the AB's now.

Not playing on the weekend and was having a bit of a browse through a US Civil Defence brochure (in case they have a terrorists attack while we're here) but the thing has no captions and I can't really work out what's going on.

Anyway, had a burl at trying to make sense of it by myself:

United States of America Civil Defence Brochure


Dial L for Switzerland?


Verse 5:12 in the Bible?

What is it?

Oops, too slow, radiation, oh shi


ALWAYS wash your hands thoroughly before dialing "L" for Switzerland.


A car aerial this large will alert terrorists as to your whereabouts within seconds.

Daft bogan.

A coat hangar will suffice.


In the event of biological agents stripping your face of it's features and causing your body to grow to grotesque proportions:

1. Proceed indoors in a calm, orderly fashion (mind your head.)

2. Stay there, out of public view.

3. Await further instructions please, Elephant Man.


"Yeahhh, might get that as a tattoo..."

Meanwhile, all the fish are dying from radiation poisoning.


In the event of a terrorist attack, quickly throttle yourself.
Ignore the colors and move briskly towards the light.


This is an " interactive" diagram.

1. Turn on your computer speakers.

2. Press your nose close to the diagram.

3. Smell anything?

Back up, Beaker.

In the time you have wasted reading this, a lethal nerve gas has infiltrated your computer whilst Agent Orange (above, centre) has incapacitated your family and loved ones in the other room.


As the biological agents take effect and you grow to monstrous size, remember to duck and roll, concealing your face as your appearance becomes increasingly hideous.


Keep your head out of the clouds.
Terrorists exploit overconfidence.


Ignore exits with oversized red arrows partially jammed in the door.



To thwart the terrorist, one must think like the terrorist.

Memorise elaborate escape routes.


2 days after exposure to radiation your body is longer than two entire city blocks.

Forget "Elephant Man", head straight to Roswell.


Give my regards to Broadway.

Start spreading the news.


Argument with the spouse?

Let it go.

File it away.

Then cometh the hour, calmly proceed to your basement fallout shelter and lock that noisy b**ch out.



Which one DAMNIT, which ONE????

There are no wires.

In your haste you have misinterpreted the diagram.



In the event of a terrorist attack you have roughly 10 minutes to sell all of your contraptions before heading straight to Switzerland (see following diagram)



Stirling Mortlock (74)
Staff member
Dear Web Log

Richie here again.


You may remmeber my post from last month and my attempts to train one of the local infants that I had kidnapped as to the correct techniques of kicking a rugby football.


Well, him and I gave up on that nonsense and we had a rummage through the closet and found my old Meccano set and I let him have a burl on that.

This is what he made:

Robot has mastered the nuance of the soccer dive. Cyberdyne systems T-666
Dear Web Log


Gidday fellas. Yeah, that was me. Was just popping in to get some more absinthe to rub on the niggly foot (who knew!).

The GOAT plate was a present from George Smith. Haha, just kidding. It was really from Dave Pocock. Dave confided in me last week that he would secretly like to be the Crusaders marquee player next season. Purely because he likes the name. "The Crusaders". Him and his crusades! Anyway, Toddy and I had the paperwork drawn up in seconds. "Sign right here, fatty!"

In more Nikon camera news, my Nikon mentor in Japan Mr Yoneta just sent me his latest Web Blog entry. So jealous! Wish I was there fellas!


Mr Yoneta & Mr Takahashi Nikon Photo Essay
We search for petrochemical haze.​
But, ironically, it is all around.​
Mr Takahashi has moved from rear to front. He is Young Man.​
Petrochemical haze partially eclipsed by tree and stupid buildings.​
On right is snot soup. Lorcal delicacy.​
Mr Yoneta (red jacket) has eye on middle-age fox (MILF) in distance.​
Shop sign says "Snot soup in your throat".​
Lorcal delicacy. Condor shit on Condor​
egg. On right is distilled snot soup.​
Nikon XP2000 is in foreground.​
In background, chopsticks encroach upon condor shit.​
Mr Yoneta (red jacket) is dress like tool.​
"Haha, Pentax?! Baka ja nai?"​
Nikon camera. Not Pentax. LOLL.​
Nikon XP2000 with lens protector cap off. NAKED GLORY.​
Nikon XP2000 in quiet supine repose.​
Nikon XP2000 glass lens has reflective qualities.​
As does distilled snot soup in top left corner.​
Serial Number 6484098378.​
Tora-san look 20 feet tall but it is optical illusion. He is standing in foreground. Standing fairly still.​

waiopehu oldboy

Jason Little (69)
I assume he was in hunting himself a case of Waikato Draught

......... to pour down the nearest stormwater drain lest some poor bastard inadvertently drink the stuff! Born in Oamaru, raised in Kurow (both North Otago), educated at Otago Boys High (I'll let you guess where that is province-wise :)) & achieved his GOATness whilst based North of the Waitaki: gotta be a Speights man every day of the week. Or a Canterbury Draught man with a convincing Speights stubbie cooler & no sense of taste whatsoever...................


Mark Loane (55)
I actually typed Speights first, but then edited it to Waikato Draught because it's not good enough as a punchline.

waiopehu oldboy

Jason Little (69)
^^^^^^^^^^ our first instincts are usually correct :)

"Whadda we gonna do? There's no more piss! And the bottleshops are all shut!"

"It's all good, Wayne brung a box of Waikato"

Now THAT''S a punch line.

waiopehu oldboy

Jason Little (69)
Holy crap, I thought they'd stopped making that shite years ago..........

At my work we have "6-pack Saturday". One of the guys has kinda cheated on his turns by bringing XXXX Summer Lager & Great Northern (both OKish), another with boring old Corona. My latest contribution was Pilsner Urquell which claims to be the Original Pilsner, prior to that we've had Viking from Iceland & Kingfisher from India among others. Thinking of staying Central European next time it's my turn, any recommendations most welcome.


Mark Loane (55)
I'm always mad for the German wheat beers.

Try the Weihenstephaner Heffe Weissbier. It currently sits on a 98% rating on Beer Advocate to give you some idea of how good it is.

Only problem is it only comes in 500ml Stubbies. But my local regularly has them as 3 for $18.


Stirling Mortlock (74)
Staff member
I'm always mad for the German wheat beers.

Try the Weihenstephaner Heffe Weissbier. It currently sits on a 98% rating on Beer Advocate to give you some idea of how good it is.

Only problem is it only comes in 500ml Stubbies. But my local regularly has them as 3 for $18.
This, to me, seems not to be a problem. :D


Tony Shaw (54)
Bored, so I've been Googling. Found some good pics of the great one in action and they seemed to good not to share. Hope you don't mind me posting them on your web blog Richie!


Richie coming in from the side.

goat-fail to release 3.jpg

Richie failing to release


Richie attempting to enter through the gate. Not real sure how this fucker works.