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The Tennis

The Tennis is

  • stupid

    Votes: 3 27.3%
  • boring

    Votes: 5 45.5%
  • you're boring

    Votes: 2 18.2%
  • Auckland Blues don't play tennis

    Votes: 2 18.2%
  • entertaining

    Votes: 2 18.2%
  • the shriekers drive me nuts

    Votes: 5 45.5%
  • The shrieking is the soundtrack to the porn film that plays in my head 24/7

    Votes: 2 18.2%
  • Kyrgios is an embarrassing dickhead

    Votes: 2 18.2%
  • Kyrgios is an entertaining dickhead

    Votes: 6 54.5%
  • Suck my balls, Djokovic

    Votes: 4 36.4%

  • Total voters
    11

Dismal Pillock

Andrew Slack (58)
The Anisimova seppo spunk not only had the ground stroke power to get rid of functioning simpleton Naomi Osaka but she also looks to have a cracking set of bazongas strapped away down there. Osaka looked fat immobile and couldnt do shit about drop shots etc

I'd wager that Italian fella Berrettini doesnt have too many issues attracting the attention of the ladies. (or the fellas if that's his thing). By any metric he is a corrosively handsome man.

Goddamnit I think tennis is my Pringles; once I start I just cannot goddamn stop. Can go for years without seeing a match or knowing anything about the sport but then if I walk past the telly and its on I'm like "Oh. Who's playing here then....." Then its 4 hours glued to the bloody telly.

One things for sure, I would much rather watch the tennis than the idiotic mercenary empty tinpot rec centre shambacle that is Japanese Top League Rugby that's on the other fucken channel.
 

Dismal Pillock

Andrew Slack (58)
Kyrgios vs Medvedev was just outrageously entertaining. Kyrgios went full Ringling ring-a-ding-ding-dong radio rental. Meanwhile at the other end, Medvedev calmly couches himself in the eye of the hurricane, goes about doing his thing for 3 hours, then wins the match and, immediately after, during on-court interview, castigates the bogan dickhhead crowd for being such a bunch of fuckwits. Balls of steel. He might look like a 4th year accounting major who's "too busy" for girls but he's like Chernobyl; he just keeps goddamn hanging around.
 
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Reactions: dru

waiopehu oldboy

George Gregan (70)
Frenchie hanging in there but doesn't seem to quite believe he can actually win this.

Edit: took it to a fourth Set but then lost his last service game to love. Greek God didn't lose a service game. That's the difference.
 

Dismal Pillock

Andrew Slack (58)
Anismova self destructing here.

Barty is not a #1 for the ages. Squat, boring and defensive she just floats it back down the middle for you to fuck up. Her main shot of choice is the sliced defensive backhand. Just wafts that shit down the middle agian and again. If you've got the balls to tonk for the corners she's got nothing. Serena in her pomp would molest her in broad daylight then leave her crying in a ditch on the outskirts of Wollongong as dusk fell.
 

dru

Phil Kearns (64)
Got nothing?

That’s Aussie Ash my friend and don’t you fucking forget it.

Got nothing indeed.

I get what he's saying. Barty basically avoids the net and stands back being safe. It's a tennis version of Saffer rugby. Boring but effective. I can't help thinking though, that she does this because she hasn't had to do more. So far it's been a pretty uneventful progress. She has lost what, one service game so far?
 

Up the Guts

Steve Williams (59)
I get what he's saying. Barty basically avoids the net and stands back being safe. It's a tennis version of Saffer rugby. Boring but effective. I can't help thinking though, that she does this because she hasn't had to do more. So far it's been a pretty uneventful progress. She has lost what, one service game so far?
Oh, I agree 100% with Dismal’s analysis (and yours). I was just taking off a Billy Birmingham 12th man clip, which features Bill Lawry’s blind patriotism:

 

Froggy

Nev Cottrell (35)
What Barty has is a rounded game and tennis smarts. The players she's beating are massive bombers from the base-line who rely entirely on the player at the other end doing the same, if that doesn't happen they have no plan B
Shane Warne didn't bowl as fast as Jason Gillespie, but took a lot more wickets!
 

Dismal Pillock

Andrew Slack (58)
Nadal vs Shapalovov today could be a cracker unfortunately I wont be watching as Nadal's OCD bullshit renders all his matches as unwatchable nonsense for me.

Sorry buddy i aint watching you pick your pants out of your bumcrack every 3 seconds for 3 hours, and taking the piss placing your drinks bottles, and wiping the phantom-limbed contrails of where your hair used to be from around your ears and brow every 3 seconds NOT IN THE MOOD. EVER.
 

waiopehu oldboy

George Gregan (70)
Shapovalov has taken it to a fifth so even if he loses Nadal is likely fucked for the SF: in the second week of a Major the player who played the fewest Sets in the preceding round wins something like 75% of the time, I believe.
 

waiopehu oldboy

George Gregan (70)
Berrettini also through in five so there goes my theory. Haven't seen any of it but looking at the scoreline Monfils didn't just shrug & walk away when down two sets which is unusual for him.
 

Tex

Jim Lenehan (48)
Predicting the Kooyong and South Yarra lawn tennis club members to have an absolute conniption tonight, now that they're going to have to share Rod Laver Area with the great unwashed for the Kygios/Kokkinakis match.

The hand wringing will be audible from Sydney!
 

waiopehu oldboy

George Gregan (70)
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waiopehu oldboy

George Gregan (70)
20 minutes ago Berrettini looked dead & buried & tbf he's pretty much serving to stay in the match every time but he's just broken Rafa & is a point away from taking it to a fourth Set. Loath to say Rafa's showing his age, but, y'know....

Edit: fourth Set required.

Edit: Comms just said that's the first Set Berrettini has ever taken off Rafa. Didn't catch how many times they've played but that's gotta give the young bloke some confidence i.e. Never did it before, now I've done it once, why not twice more?
 
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waiopehu oldboy

George Gregan (70)
Berrettini comes up short, Rafa through to GSF#29.

Gotta say I'm a bit conflicted wrt Rafa. On the one hand you've gotta admire his stamina & ability to just get that ball back over the net come what may but on t'other beyond that he just doesn't play those "How The Fuck Did He Do That?" shots as often as Federer or the Serb. Great player no doubt but GOAT I'm not so sure.

Having said the above, if it's Rafa v Medvedev I'm on Team Rafa (but if Rafa v Tsitsipas I'm on the Greek God bandwagon ).
 
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Dismal Pillock

Andrew Slack (58)
I try to avoid Rafa's matches. Hate being a hostage to his excruciating OCD quirks for 3 hours.

If he's a set down in the final I might tune in but otherwise his matches are a hard pass thanks.

God I hope Tsitsipas can get into his flow but Medvedev looks like he's forgotten how to lose.
 

Dismal Pillock

Andrew Slack (58)
Some sexy, sexy backhands from Tsitsipas. Got me groanin in the boneyard. Small self-touch is ok.

Med is never actually beaten. You have to kill him until he's dead.

And wow, when he loses his rag he really loses it. Reverts to some sort of infantile sook rage from a skullfucked pre-fontanelle cortex.
 
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