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All-Time Crim 1st XV

wamberal

wamberal

Phil Kearns (64)
Struth, Tim Bristow indeed. He was actually a very talented footballer, apart from his penchant for thuggery. And his pre-match habit of drinking a few schooners. He was also a good goal-kicker!


He and Ken Yanz were two of the filthiest players I have ever seen, and both played for Gordon, the pride of Sydney's leafy North Shore.


Bristow was a bouncer at the Newport Arms for many years, and the highlight of the night was when some young up-and-coming GPS lad who knew a bit about boxing took him on. Timmy made no pretence of being a pugilist, he just sort of stood there, absorbing the pretty boy's best jabs and so on, until, sooner rather than later he let his guard down a bit, and WHAM. Out like a light.

Next please!

In later life he cut a pretty pathetic figure, he had a stroke when he was only 40 or so, and it was all downhill from there.
 
Dismal Pillock

Dismal Pillock

Simon Poidevin (60)
Can Bristow play at hooker? He can now!

1 Keith Murdock (one ill-fated punch in a kitchen in 1662.. tenuous.)
2 Tim Bristow: Banned from rugby for life in 1962 for knocking out 8 opposing players.
3 Bees Roux: cop killer
4 Rudi Virage: shot and killed his 19 yo daughter.
5 R.Brooke (trying to root some kid up in the islands or soemthing?)
6 Sione Luaaki (trashing motel room?)
7 Joseph Ntshongwana: killed 3 with an axe
8 Marc Cecillon: performing the eternal willie-away on own wife
9
10 W.Ripia (looting own team dressing room haha)
11 Zac Guildford (naked pissing and beating up an old bloke in Rarotonga)
12 John Ryan: busted for an attempted armed hold-up.
13 G.Moala: bashing people up on K Rd.
14 Doug Howlett: jumping on cars post world cup exit
15 K.Beale

Bench

D.Pocock (DNP)
 
Dismal Pillock

Dismal Pillock

Simon Poidevin (60)
1 Keith Murdock (one ill-fated punch in a kitchen in 1662.. tenuous.)
2 Tim Bristow: Banned from rugby for life in 1962 for knocking out 8 opposing players.
3 Bees Roux: cop killer
4 Rudi Virage: shot and killed his 19 yo daughter.
5 R.Brooke (trying to root some kid up in the islands or soemthing?)
6 Sione Luaaki (trashing motel room?)
7 Joseph Ntshongwana: killed 3 with an axe
8 Marc Cecillon: performing the eternal willie-away on own wife
9 Matt Henjak: broke Haig Sare's jaw (not too criminal, may struggle to hold his spot......)
10 W.Ripia (looting own team dressing room haha)
11 Zac Guildford (naked pissing and beating up an old bloke in Rarotonga)
12 John Ryan: busted for an attempted armed hold-up.
13 G.Moala: bashing people up on K Rd.
14 Julian Savea: wifebeating
15 K.Beale: being a dick

Bench


Doug Howlett: jumping on cars post world cup exit
Willie Anderson: nicked a flag on tour in Argentina
Cliff Palu: weekend detention for assault.
Mitchell Scott:convicted of assault.
Cameron Shepherd: jumping on parked cars outside the Star Casino
Sivivatu: domestic violence against his girlfriend/wife
D.Pocock: being a tree-hugging hippie

Coach: Dan Crowley (he's watching you you stupid pricks)
 
Braveheart81

Braveheart81

Will Genia (78)
Staff member
John Ryan was a winger (6 tests for the Wallabies).

John Payne was a centre (4 tests for Tonga).

Both should be in the side based on the severity of their crimes.
 
Gillys_ghost

Gillys_ghost

Dave Cowper (27)
Bastereaud got drunk and hurt himself, but didnt want to get in trouble for breaking curfew so he lied to police and said he got attacked.
 
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