PaarlBok
Rod McCall (65)
Saw some wants this. Was developed by us Saffers on TSV, travelled to ProteaSport and then putted on SARugby by myself , so lets take it to Aussie Land.
Think myself and Blue the only real Boere on this forum (Sardyntjie is a bit of a RooiNek, supporting the Guppies, only joking Boet) and with the help of my Boere Ier Thomo we'll be more willing then help you with our Taal (myself living in the holy Afrikaanse Monument town of Paarl).
So dont be afraid and ask anything or any word you hear and we'll be more then pleased to help you.
Afrikaans - the language that dare not speak. Aka Boertaal, Kitchen Dutch, the Taal, One More And You're Banned . The elephant in the bedroom of all other SA languages. Pr. Ah-free-khans [and the crowd says boer-selecta...].
Afrikaner - one of those interesting words that's up for grabs post-1994. Effectively, anyone who speaks Afrikaans or has an Afrikaans surname. And yes, I know that's circular. First use of the word was by a pissed teenager getting stroppy in Stellenbosch. Plus ca change...
Babelaas - hangover. The mourning after the night before. The point when you tell yourself you'll never do that again just before you go down the pub to watch rugby and do it all again...
Ballas - Testicles. Diminutive (it can get cold on the Highveld) is ballatjies, pr. "ballock-ees".
Bakkie - pick-up truck/ute. Preferably an Isuzu. There's a requirement under Free State law that all bakkies must be driven with one arm out the window.
Bittereinder - from the English "bitter-ender" - originally about the guys who fought to the bitter end of the Anglo-Boer War, now also for guys who'll fight right to the bitter end for an obviously hopeless and doomed cause. See also - well, the rest of the Fern, really...
Boer - lit. farmer. With a capital "B", white Afrikaner. Also kiwi-speak for Seffrican. Can be used to distinguish various types of Boer, e.g. Mealieboer - mealiefarmer = Free Stater, Piesangboer - bananafarmer = KZN type (and almost certainly not Afrikaans), Wynboer - winefarmer = Bolander, one of the Cape Boerstocracy in the Winelands, Sandboer - sandfarmer = Namaqualander pretending he's from the Winelands. Pl. Boere. It is not, repeat not, pronounced "bore." Not even when you're talking about the Bulls (cf).
Boeremeisie - lit. Boer girl. A subject very close to T78's heart. Afrikaans girls are, with the few misshapen hounds excepted, hot. Very hot. Stellenbosch is like you've died and gone to heaven, surrounded by nubile college-attending lovelies who're into rugby. I suugest all single male Ferners make the pilgrimage at least once. Alas that it doesn't last.
Boerpolar disorder - not, strictly speaking, a Seffrican term, but useful in understanding this board. The medical condition whereby all SA fans swing wildly from "he/we is/are the greatest and solution to all our problems" to "he/we are crap and must be shown the door right away" and back again, over and over, and frequently in the course of consecutive sentences. Welsh Ferners will recognise the condition. Current medical opinion is that it's progressive, incurable and good for the occasional cheap giggle.
Boet - lit., brother. I think this may have made the jump to Kiwi English as well...
Braai - religious offering to the gods of cardiac overload and cirrhosis masquerading as a barbecue. See www.youtube.com/watch?v=vq2SOmwzjUU
Bra/ Brother - Direct meaning, brother, but can also mean friend.
Bulle/Blou Bulle - lit. (Blue) Bulls. The bad Boers. Comedy stereotypes from the highveld, possessed by the evil spirit of Naas Botha. Between the bellies, mega-taches and horns on hats, wandering into the middle of a crowd of their supporters is like being in an Asterix book, without the giggles or erudition.
Capie/Kaapie - A person from the Cape/Kaap. One who hides the fact that they're piss-poor hippies behind laid-back, stoned arrogance in pretending a nice view is a substitute for a job - not that the dread-locked layabouts are employable anyway.
Dagga - Dope. Pr. "da[cchhh]a". Foundation of what passes for an economy in the Eastern Cape. Cf. "Dagga-dop-en-pomp", the essentials for a good night out in SA.
Doos means box. The translation's as free as in English.
Dop - a drink, basically a shot or a beer.
Dorp/dorpie - village/small town. The essence of small-town-in-the-veld-dom. Can be linked with any other word to describe a place, e.g. Ostrichdorp for Oudtshoorn. If you hear a Matie (cf) referring to The/Die Dorpie, they're talking about Stellenbosch.
Dutchman - like "Paddy" to an Irishman, if you call a Boer this, you're either best mates with him, or looking for a fight. C.f. crunchie, rockspider, hairyback...
Gat - hole/arse. The main attraction of Kimberley is the Groot Gat, the biggest man-made hole in the world. Friends of mine who grew up there assure me this is an accurate assessment of Kimberley.
Gatvol - lit. arse-full. Fed-up. Pr. "Cchhhatfol."
Howzit - When you greet someone, basically hello
Janee - Lit. "Yes-no". Can mean pretty much whatever you want it to, depending on inflection. The nearest rough international equivalent used at the start of sentence is the Irish, "Ah,sure.."
Jou ma... - Your ma... Either you're looking for a fight, or you're from Mitchell's Plain. Either way, the chances of the full version of this being tolerated here are slim.
Lekker - lit. sweet. Anything good is lekker, sweet. As he uses this incessantly, is white with a black ancestor, founded an independent republic and called it Petoria, this raises the distinct possibility Peter Griffin from Family Guy is a dyslexic Boer...
Matie - pr. "mah-tee" Graduate of Stellenbosch University (US). Basically, the Boerstocracy. Also the US team, which is a Springbok production line.
Mauser - a type of rifle. That with which one aims at the glint from the monocle and the sound of someone going, "Air, hair-layer, old chap..."
Neef - lit. nephew. Used to a guy who's younger than you. Pr. "nee-ef."
Now - a movable feast of a word, and used to express many different concepts. "Now-now" means "right-now", or "within the week" in Cape Town. "Just now" means "now", or "never" in CPT. "Now" means soon. Eternity is the length of time encompassed in what a Capetonian waitress means when she says, "I'll get it now."
Okes - just add "bl" to the front of it - "blokes". No idea what happened to cause this, I can only assume the word got damaged in transit from the UK and was flogged off cheap to the Seffricans.
Oom - lit. Uncle. Used as an honorific to any guy older than you. Like a slightly more familiar version of "sir". For example, you'd call Mr. Du Randt "Oom Os." Or just "God." Pr. "Oo-um"
Pomp - pump. Also sex. Afrikaans, international language of love, hey?
Potjie - lit. means "little pot". Pronounced poikey. A traditional South African stew cooked in a three legged black pot over open coals. Can have almost any combination of meats and vegetables - depending on the chef's skills and imagination.
Rooinek - lit. redneck. Englishman. That they get called this by guys supporting the Bulls shows Afrikaans has a surprisingly good line in dry irony. Pr. "roo-ee-nek"
Shebeen - from the Irish "sibin". An unlicensed drinking den. Any comments on how the Irish contributed this to SA culture will be smitten good and hard.
Slapgat - lit. loose-arsed. Bit of a shambles. See any team based in Newlands.
Soutie/soutpiel - lit. salt-dick. English-speaking Saffie. One leg in SA, one in England, the rest dangling in the brine in between. See Fulham, Joburg, Durban for prime examples. Pr. "sew - tee"
Spook/Spoek-en-diesel - Klipdrift brandy and coke. Like drinking sump oil dissolved in acetone, only not as posh. Rots the brain beyond hope of recovery. Favourite drink of Dutchmen and Jake White.
tjie/jie - like the Irish "in", a diminutive that can and will be stuck onto any word you can think of. Pr. "key"
Tiete - Breasts. Get someone to translate Koos Kombuis' "AWB Tiete" for you as an example of just how wrong you can be as long as it's funny.
Vaalie - one from the wrong - i.e. northern - side of the River Vaal. Distinguished by being surgically attached to their BMW keyrings, Vaalies are the ones who'd rather live in an oxygen-free smog-drenched crime-fest than reduce their consumption of hair products and fake nails [pr. "naaaay-uhls"]. The annual migration of the Vaaldebeest herds at Christmas to the coast is one of the great sights of Africa. All in all, if they'd just send the money to the Cape and the Capies would just send the pretty pictures to Joburg, they could just blow the passes and stop pretending they stay together for the sake of the Free Staters.
Vrystaat - lit. Free State. Also a random bellow of appreciation of something that'll piss off non-Dutchmen. Cf. Spoek-en-diesel for when this latter use arises.
WeePees - Western Province and its supporters. Those who can, do; those who can't, teach; those who should do, but always find a way to thingy it up, join Province.
(Thomo please fine tune the rest, this lot was added later)
Rugby Postions:
Prop - Stut
Hooker - Haker
Flanker - Flank
Lock - Slot
Eighthman - Agtsteman
Scrum-half - Skrumskakel
Fly-half - Losskakel
Centre - Senter
Wing - Vleuel
Full-back - Heelagter
warm klap- a decent back hand
dronk vir driet- drink too much and get highly emotional
wil jy naai(refer to pomp- PB version)
eter- a very sick word!
donder- break,smash,pulverise,turn into handbag
neek- see donder
bliksem se deksels!- an irrate customer asking nicely for assistance at home affairs
Poes Klap - very hard slap to the ear.
jags- very horny
lus- im keen
jou poepall- you idiot
when your wife says what are you doing?
best answer is
"ek trek draad"
very nice way of saying "we're married now"
tekkies: shoes/trainers
Moer - lit. nut as in bolt-and-nut. Alt use - see donder. Pr. moo-r
Spanner - Lit. as English. alt use - person from the wrong side of the tracks.
Spanner valley - any town/suburb where spanners live. Mostly applied to towns in the Vaal Triangle (Vereeniging - Vanderbijlpark - Sasolburg)
Bakleiwyn - Lit. fight wine. See spoek/spook. Pr. bu-clay-vein.
Brandewyn - Lit. fire wine. See spoek/spook. Pr. brun-nuh-vein
Zol - see dagga. Pr. zorl.
Spyker - lit. nail. Alt use - see pomp. Pr. speycker
Brandewyn het ook nie brieke nie.
ek shmaak om boom te rook, dit maak my voel baie hard!
wich means , i am a gentleman...women enjoy my charm
Soutie(salty as in the salt of the seawater) comes from soutpiel which means saltdick.
This actually goes back to the time just after the wars when a lot of english moved to South Africa, but still clinged on to the stiff upperlip english uses, and rituals.
So they were being named Soutpiele or Soutiesbecause they have their one feet in South Africa and the other in England with their dicks hanging in the salty atlantic.
fyndraai - Lit. fine turn. That moment just before a man "shoots his load" i o w too late to stop. Pr. feign dry.
Afrikaans bly maar die beste taal ooit!!!!!! (Thomo please translate this broer)
Sy het so baie plooie, sy skroef haar hoed op!
Ek is nou so lui my hol hang oop!
Hy is so maer, hy lyk soos 'n potlood met 'n handbriek.
Ek is nou so opgewonde soos ?n budgie op steroids !
Ek is so lui soos 'n by - ek wil nie steek nie - ek wil net so aan die koek hang!
Jy's so skeel jy kyk jouself diep in die o?!
Hy ?s so kort hy weet nie of dit keelseer of aambeie is nie.
Hy ?s so kort hy slaan tot sy onderbroek se pype om.
Hy is so maer, as hy langs 'n wit muur loop lyk dit soos n kraak wat beweeg!
Hy is so skelm, hy bid onder ' n skuilnaam
Ek gaan jou klap dat jy lus kry vir niks
Ek sit nou so lekker ek staan sommer op en sit weer.
"Lang gesig soos 'n bok wat afdraand vreet."
"Drank los nie probleme op nie, maar so ook nie melk of water nie."
"Ek voel nou so goed, ek vul sommer die lottonommers verkeerd in."
"Ek is nou so lui ek trou sommer 'n pregnant vrou."
"Ondervinding is iets wat jy eers kry nadat jy dit nodig het."
"Almal kry die voorreg om onnosel te wees, net jammer party maak misbruik daarvan."
"Ek is so de bl*ksem in, ek soen sommer 'n pofadder oopbek"
"My vrou is so lelik, as sy op die sand sit wil die katte haar toekrap.."
"Arende vlieg dalk hoog, maar ons muishonde word nooit deur 'n vliegtuigmotor ingesuig nie."
"Die mens is op aarde geplaas om ?n sekere hoeveelheid werk te doen. Op die oomblik is ek so ver agter ek sal nooit dood gaan nie."
"Ons kannie almal helde wees nie, iemand moet langs die pad staan en hande klap."
"Ek glo dat as iets die moeite werd was om te doen, dan sou iemand anders dit lankal gedoen het."
"Jy mag nooit meer as jou yskas weeg nie!"
"As jy vir jouself kan lag dan het jy altyd iets om oor te lag."
"As jy lyk soos jou paspoort-foto, dan het jy 'n reis nodig."
"So weg soos 'n kraai drol"
Nog Afrikaanse segoeg
Blond huil vreeslik tydens die geboorte van haar tweeling.
Dr vra verbaas "hoekom huil jy so vreeslik, jy het dan nounet 'n tweeling ryker geraak?" "Ja", s? sy, "maar ek weet nie wie die pa van die tweede een is nie "
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Seuntjie blaai deur sy Ouma se Bybel en kom op 'n gedroogde vyeblaar af.
Opgewonde hardloop hy die gang af en skreeu, "Ouma, Ouma, Eva het haar "pantie" in jou Bybel vergeet.
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Juffrou in die biologieklas aan klas:"Wie kan vir my se wat is 'n parasiet?" Jannie antwoord:"Juffrou dit is 'n meisiesfiets se saal.."
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Vir die pionierswerk wat prof Barnard gedoen het, is daar besluit om 'n groot hart op sy graf te sit. Sy familie is baie dankbaar dat hy nie 'n ginekoloog was nie......
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Gatiep le in die hospitaal na 'n moerse ongeluk.
Hy vra vir die dokter:"Sal ek darem kan kitaar speel?"
"Ja" se die dokter.
"Dis fantasties" se Gatiep, "want ek kon nog nooit nie!"
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Vrou wat rondkuier se man vermoed dit en se vir haar:"Dit lyk my ek speel nou 2de viool. Vrou se:"met 'n fluitjie soos joune kan jy nog bly wees jy is in die donnerse orkes!"
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Ou Oom:" Ek het my ID verloor en moes my grys borshare wys om my old age pension te kon trek" Ou Vrou:"As jy jou broek afgetrek het kon jy disability pension ook gekry het!.."
Monitor
Keeping an eye on the braai
Download
Get the firewood off the bakkie
Hard drive
Trip back home without any cold beer
Keyboard
Where you hang the bakkie and bike keys
Window
What you shut when it's cold
Screen
What you shut in the mosquito season
Byte
What mosquitoes do
Bit
What mosquitoes did
Mega Byte
What mosquitoes at the lake do
Chip
A bar snack
Micro Chip
What's left in the bag after you have eaten the chips
Modem
What you did to the lawns
Dot Matrix
Oom Jan Matrix's wife
Laptop
Where the cat sleeps
Software
Plastic knives and forks you get at KFC
Hardware
Real stainless steel knives and forks from Checkers
Mouse
What eats the grain in the shed
Mainframe
What holds the shed up
Web
What spiders make
Web Site
The shed (or under the verandah)
Cursor
The old bloke what swears a lot
Search Engine
What you do when the bakkie won't go
Yahoo
What you say when the bakkie does go
Upgrade
A steep hill
Server
The person at the pub what brings out the lunch
Mail Server
The bloke at the pub what brings out the lunch
User
The neighbour what keeps borrowing things
Network
When you have to repair your fishing net
Internet
Complicated fish net repair method
Netscape
When fish manoeuvres out of reach of net
Online
When you get the laundry hung out
Off Line
When the pegs don't hold the washing up
Afrikaans bly maar die beste taal ooit!!!!!!
Sy het so baie plooie, sy skroef haar hoed op!
Ek is nou so lui my hol hang oop!
Ek is nou so opgewonde soos ?n budgie op steroids!
Jy's so skeel jy kyk jouself diep in die o?!
Hy ?s so kort hy weet nie of dit keelseer of aambeie is nie.
Hy ?s so kort hy slaan tot sy onderbroek se pype om.
Hy is so maer, as hy langs 'n wit muur loop lyk dit soos n kraak wat beweeg!
Hy is so skelm, hy bid onder ' n skuilnaam
Ek gaan jou klap dat jy lus kry vir niks
Ek sit nou so lekker ek staan sommer op en sit weer.
"Lang gesig soos ?n bok wat afdraand vreet."
"Drank los nie probleme op nie, maar so ook nie melk of water nie."
"Ek voel nou so goed, ek vul sommer die lottonommers verkeerd in."
"Ek is nou so lui ek trou sommer 'n pregnant vrou."
"Ondervinding is iets wat jy eers kry nadat jy dit nodig het."
"Almal kry die voorreg om onnosel te wees, net jammer party maak misbruik daarvan."
"Ek is so de bl*ksem in, ek soen sommer 'n pofadder oopbek"
"My vrou is so lelik, as sy op die sand sit wil die katte haar toekrap.."
"Arende vlieg dalk hoog, maar ons muishonde word nooit deur 'n
vliegtuigmotor ingesuig nie."
"Die mens is op aarde geplaas om ?n sekere hoeveelheid werk te doen. Op die oomblik is ek so ver agter ek sal nooit dood gaan nie."
"Ons kannie almal helde wees nie, iemand moet langs die pad staan en hande klap."
"Ek glo dat as iets die moeite werd was om te doen, dan sou iemand anders dit lankal gedoen het."
"Jy mag nooit meer as jou yskas weeg nie!"
"As jy vir jouself kan lag dan het jy altyd iets om oor te lag."
"As jy lyk soos jou paspoort-foto, dan het jy 'n reis nodig."
Think myself and Blue the only real Boere on this forum (Sardyntjie is a bit of a RooiNek, supporting the Guppies, only joking Boet) and with the help of my Boere Ier Thomo we'll be more willing then help you with our Taal (myself living in the holy Afrikaanse Monument town of Paarl).
So dont be afraid and ask anything or any word you hear and we'll be more then pleased to help you.
Afrikaans - the language that dare not speak. Aka Boertaal, Kitchen Dutch, the Taal, One More And You're Banned . The elephant in the bedroom of all other SA languages. Pr. Ah-free-khans [and the crowd says boer-selecta...].
Afrikaner - one of those interesting words that's up for grabs post-1994. Effectively, anyone who speaks Afrikaans or has an Afrikaans surname. And yes, I know that's circular. First use of the word was by a pissed teenager getting stroppy in Stellenbosch. Plus ca change...
Babelaas - hangover. The mourning after the night before. The point when you tell yourself you'll never do that again just before you go down the pub to watch rugby and do it all again...
Ballas - Testicles. Diminutive (it can get cold on the Highveld) is ballatjies, pr. "ballock-ees".
Bakkie - pick-up truck/ute. Preferably an Isuzu. There's a requirement under Free State law that all bakkies must be driven with one arm out the window.
Bittereinder - from the English "bitter-ender" - originally about the guys who fought to the bitter end of the Anglo-Boer War, now also for guys who'll fight right to the bitter end for an obviously hopeless and doomed cause. See also - well, the rest of the Fern, really...
Boer - lit. farmer. With a capital "B", white Afrikaner. Also kiwi-speak for Seffrican. Can be used to distinguish various types of Boer, e.g. Mealieboer - mealiefarmer = Free Stater, Piesangboer - bananafarmer = KZN type (and almost certainly not Afrikaans), Wynboer - winefarmer = Bolander, one of the Cape Boerstocracy in the Winelands, Sandboer - sandfarmer = Namaqualander pretending he's from the Winelands. Pl. Boere. It is not, repeat not, pronounced "bore." Not even when you're talking about the Bulls (cf).
Boeremeisie - lit. Boer girl. A subject very close to T78's heart. Afrikaans girls are, with the few misshapen hounds excepted, hot. Very hot. Stellenbosch is like you've died and gone to heaven, surrounded by nubile college-attending lovelies who're into rugby. I suugest all single male Ferners make the pilgrimage at least once. Alas that it doesn't last.
Boerpolar disorder - not, strictly speaking, a Seffrican term, but useful in understanding this board. The medical condition whereby all SA fans swing wildly from "he/we is/are the greatest and solution to all our problems" to "he/we are crap and must be shown the door right away" and back again, over and over, and frequently in the course of consecutive sentences. Welsh Ferners will recognise the condition. Current medical opinion is that it's progressive, incurable and good for the occasional cheap giggle.
Boet - lit., brother. I think this may have made the jump to Kiwi English as well...
Braai - religious offering to the gods of cardiac overload and cirrhosis masquerading as a barbecue. See www.youtube.com/watch?v=vq2SOmwzjUU
Bra/ Brother - Direct meaning, brother, but can also mean friend.
Bulle/Blou Bulle - lit. (Blue) Bulls. The bad Boers. Comedy stereotypes from the highveld, possessed by the evil spirit of Naas Botha. Between the bellies, mega-taches and horns on hats, wandering into the middle of a crowd of their supporters is like being in an Asterix book, without the giggles or erudition.
Capie/Kaapie - A person from the Cape/Kaap. One who hides the fact that they're piss-poor hippies behind laid-back, stoned arrogance in pretending a nice view is a substitute for a job - not that the dread-locked layabouts are employable anyway.
Dagga - Dope. Pr. "da[cchhh]a". Foundation of what passes for an economy in the Eastern Cape. Cf. "Dagga-dop-en-pomp", the essentials for a good night out in SA.
Doos means box. The translation's as free as in English.
Dop - a drink, basically a shot or a beer.
Dorp/dorpie - village/small town. The essence of small-town-in-the-veld-dom. Can be linked with any other word to describe a place, e.g. Ostrichdorp for Oudtshoorn. If you hear a Matie (cf) referring to The/Die Dorpie, they're talking about Stellenbosch.
Dutchman - like "Paddy" to an Irishman, if you call a Boer this, you're either best mates with him, or looking for a fight. C.f. crunchie, rockspider, hairyback...
Gat - hole/arse. The main attraction of Kimberley is the Groot Gat, the biggest man-made hole in the world. Friends of mine who grew up there assure me this is an accurate assessment of Kimberley.
Gatvol - lit. arse-full. Fed-up. Pr. "Cchhhatfol."
Howzit - When you greet someone, basically hello
Janee - Lit. "Yes-no". Can mean pretty much whatever you want it to, depending on inflection. The nearest rough international equivalent used at the start of sentence is the Irish, "Ah,sure.."
Jou ma... - Your ma... Either you're looking for a fight, or you're from Mitchell's Plain. Either way, the chances of the full version of this being tolerated here are slim.
Lekker - lit. sweet. Anything good is lekker, sweet. As he uses this incessantly, is white with a black ancestor, founded an independent republic and called it Petoria, this raises the distinct possibility Peter Griffin from Family Guy is a dyslexic Boer...
Matie - pr. "mah-tee" Graduate of Stellenbosch University (US). Basically, the Boerstocracy. Also the US team, which is a Springbok production line.
Mauser - a type of rifle. That with which one aims at the glint from the monocle and the sound of someone going, "Air, hair-layer, old chap..."
Neef - lit. nephew. Used to a guy who's younger than you. Pr. "nee-ef."
Now - a movable feast of a word, and used to express many different concepts. "Now-now" means "right-now", or "within the week" in Cape Town. "Just now" means "now", or "never" in CPT. "Now" means soon. Eternity is the length of time encompassed in what a Capetonian waitress means when she says, "I'll get it now."
Okes - just add "bl" to the front of it - "blokes". No idea what happened to cause this, I can only assume the word got damaged in transit from the UK and was flogged off cheap to the Seffricans.
Oom - lit. Uncle. Used as an honorific to any guy older than you. Like a slightly more familiar version of "sir". For example, you'd call Mr. Du Randt "Oom Os." Or just "God." Pr. "Oo-um"
Pomp - pump. Also sex. Afrikaans, international language of love, hey?
Potjie - lit. means "little pot". Pronounced poikey. A traditional South African stew cooked in a three legged black pot over open coals. Can have almost any combination of meats and vegetables - depending on the chef's skills and imagination.
Rooinek - lit. redneck. Englishman. That they get called this by guys supporting the Bulls shows Afrikaans has a surprisingly good line in dry irony. Pr. "roo-ee-nek"
Shebeen - from the Irish "sibin". An unlicensed drinking den. Any comments on how the Irish contributed this to SA culture will be smitten good and hard.
Slapgat - lit. loose-arsed. Bit of a shambles. See any team based in Newlands.
Soutie/soutpiel - lit. salt-dick. English-speaking Saffie. One leg in SA, one in England, the rest dangling in the brine in between. See Fulham, Joburg, Durban for prime examples. Pr. "sew - tee"
Spook/Spoek-en-diesel - Klipdrift brandy and coke. Like drinking sump oil dissolved in acetone, only not as posh. Rots the brain beyond hope of recovery. Favourite drink of Dutchmen and Jake White.
tjie/jie - like the Irish "in", a diminutive that can and will be stuck onto any word you can think of. Pr. "key"
Tiete - Breasts. Get someone to translate Koos Kombuis' "AWB Tiete" for you as an example of just how wrong you can be as long as it's funny.
Vaalie - one from the wrong - i.e. northern - side of the River Vaal. Distinguished by being surgically attached to their BMW keyrings, Vaalies are the ones who'd rather live in an oxygen-free smog-drenched crime-fest than reduce their consumption of hair products and fake nails [pr. "naaaay-uhls"]. The annual migration of the Vaaldebeest herds at Christmas to the coast is one of the great sights of Africa. All in all, if they'd just send the money to the Cape and the Capies would just send the pretty pictures to Joburg, they could just blow the passes and stop pretending they stay together for the sake of the Free Staters.
Vrystaat - lit. Free State. Also a random bellow of appreciation of something that'll piss off non-Dutchmen. Cf. Spoek-en-diesel for when this latter use arises.
WeePees - Western Province and its supporters. Those who can, do; those who can't, teach; those who should do, but always find a way to thingy it up, join Province.
(Thomo please fine tune the rest, this lot was added later)
Rugby Postions:
Prop - Stut
Hooker - Haker
Flanker - Flank
Lock - Slot
Eighthman - Agtsteman
Scrum-half - Skrumskakel
Fly-half - Losskakel
Centre - Senter
Wing - Vleuel
Full-back - Heelagter
warm klap- a decent back hand
dronk vir driet- drink too much and get highly emotional
wil jy naai(refer to pomp- PB version)
eter- a very sick word!
donder- break,smash,pulverise,turn into handbag
neek- see donder
bliksem se deksels!- an irrate customer asking nicely for assistance at home affairs
Poes Klap - very hard slap to the ear.
jags- very horny
lus- im keen
jou poepall- you idiot
when your wife says what are you doing?
best answer is
"ek trek draad"
very nice way of saying "we're married now"
tekkies: shoes/trainers
Moer - lit. nut as in bolt-and-nut. Alt use - see donder. Pr. moo-r
Spanner - Lit. as English. alt use - person from the wrong side of the tracks.
Spanner valley - any town/suburb where spanners live. Mostly applied to towns in the Vaal Triangle (Vereeniging - Vanderbijlpark - Sasolburg)
Bakleiwyn - Lit. fight wine. See spoek/spook. Pr. bu-clay-vein.
Brandewyn - Lit. fire wine. See spoek/spook. Pr. brun-nuh-vein
Zol - see dagga. Pr. zorl.
Spyker - lit. nail. Alt use - see pomp. Pr. speycker
Brandewyn het ook nie brieke nie.
ek shmaak om boom te rook, dit maak my voel baie hard!
wich means , i am a gentleman...women enjoy my charm
Soutie(salty as in the salt of the seawater) comes from soutpiel which means saltdick.
This actually goes back to the time just after the wars when a lot of english moved to South Africa, but still clinged on to the stiff upperlip english uses, and rituals.
So they were being named Soutpiele or Soutiesbecause they have their one feet in South Africa and the other in England with their dicks hanging in the salty atlantic.
fyndraai - Lit. fine turn. That moment just before a man "shoots his load" i o w too late to stop. Pr. feign dry.
Afrikaans bly maar die beste taal ooit!!!!!! (Thomo please translate this broer)
Sy het so baie plooie, sy skroef haar hoed op!
Ek is nou so lui my hol hang oop!
Hy is so maer, hy lyk soos 'n potlood met 'n handbriek.
Ek is nou so opgewonde soos ?n budgie op steroids !
Ek is so lui soos 'n by - ek wil nie steek nie - ek wil net so aan die koek hang!
Jy's so skeel jy kyk jouself diep in die o?!
Hy ?s so kort hy weet nie of dit keelseer of aambeie is nie.
Hy ?s so kort hy slaan tot sy onderbroek se pype om.
Hy is so maer, as hy langs 'n wit muur loop lyk dit soos n kraak wat beweeg!
Hy is so skelm, hy bid onder ' n skuilnaam
Ek gaan jou klap dat jy lus kry vir niks
Ek sit nou so lekker ek staan sommer op en sit weer.
"Lang gesig soos 'n bok wat afdraand vreet."
"Drank los nie probleme op nie, maar so ook nie melk of water nie."
"Ek voel nou so goed, ek vul sommer die lottonommers verkeerd in."
"Ek is nou so lui ek trou sommer 'n pregnant vrou."
"Ondervinding is iets wat jy eers kry nadat jy dit nodig het."
"Almal kry die voorreg om onnosel te wees, net jammer party maak misbruik daarvan."
"Ek is so de bl*ksem in, ek soen sommer 'n pofadder oopbek"
"My vrou is so lelik, as sy op die sand sit wil die katte haar toekrap.."
"Arende vlieg dalk hoog, maar ons muishonde word nooit deur 'n vliegtuigmotor ingesuig nie."
"Die mens is op aarde geplaas om ?n sekere hoeveelheid werk te doen. Op die oomblik is ek so ver agter ek sal nooit dood gaan nie."
"Ons kannie almal helde wees nie, iemand moet langs die pad staan en hande klap."
"Ek glo dat as iets die moeite werd was om te doen, dan sou iemand anders dit lankal gedoen het."
"Jy mag nooit meer as jou yskas weeg nie!"
"As jy vir jouself kan lag dan het jy altyd iets om oor te lag."
"As jy lyk soos jou paspoort-foto, dan het jy 'n reis nodig."
"So weg soos 'n kraai drol"
Nog Afrikaanse segoeg
Blond huil vreeslik tydens die geboorte van haar tweeling.
Dr vra verbaas "hoekom huil jy so vreeslik, jy het dan nounet 'n tweeling ryker geraak?" "Ja", s? sy, "maar ek weet nie wie die pa van die tweede een is nie "
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Seuntjie blaai deur sy Ouma se Bybel en kom op 'n gedroogde vyeblaar af.
Opgewonde hardloop hy die gang af en skreeu, "Ouma, Ouma, Eva het haar "pantie" in jou Bybel vergeet.
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Juffrou in die biologieklas aan klas:"Wie kan vir my se wat is 'n parasiet?" Jannie antwoord:"Juffrou dit is 'n meisiesfiets se saal.."
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Vir die pionierswerk wat prof Barnard gedoen het, is daar besluit om 'n groot hart op sy graf te sit. Sy familie is baie dankbaar dat hy nie 'n ginekoloog was nie......
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Gatiep le in die hospitaal na 'n moerse ongeluk.
Hy vra vir die dokter:"Sal ek darem kan kitaar speel?"
"Ja" se die dokter.
"Dis fantasties" se Gatiep, "want ek kon nog nooit nie!"
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Vrou wat rondkuier se man vermoed dit en se vir haar:"Dit lyk my ek speel nou 2de viool. Vrou se:"met 'n fluitjie soos joune kan jy nog bly wees jy is in die donnerse orkes!"
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Ou Oom:" Ek het my ID verloor en moes my grys borshare wys om my old age pension te kon trek" Ou Vrou:"As jy jou broek afgetrek het kon jy disability pension ook gekry het!.."
Monitor
Keeping an eye on the braai
Download
Get the firewood off the bakkie
Hard drive
Trip back home without any cold beer
Keyboard
Where you hang the bakkie and bike keys
Window
What you shut when it's cold
Screen
What you shut in the mosquito season
Byte
What mosquitoes do
Bit
What mosquitoes did
Mega Byte
What mosquitoes at the lake do
Chip
A bar snack
Micro Chip
What's left in the bag after you have eaten the chips
Modem
What you did to the lawns
Dot Matrix
Oom Jan Matrix's wife
Laptop
Where the cat sleeps
Software
Plastic knives and forks you get at KFC
Hardware
Real stainless steel knives and forks from Checkers
Mouse
What eats the grain in the shed
Mainframe
What holds the shed up
Web
What spiders make
Web Site
The shed (or under the verandah)
Cursor
The old bloke what swears a lot
Search Engine
What you do when the bakkie won't go
Yahoo
What you say when the bakkie does go
Upgrade
A steep hill
Server
The person at the pub what brings out the lunch
Mail Server
The bloke at the pub what brings out the lunch
User
The neighbour what keeps borrowing things
Network
When you have to repair your fishing net
Internet
Complicated fish net repair method
Netscape
When fish manoeuvres out of reach of net
Online
When you get the laundry hung out
Off Line
When the pegs don't hold the washing up
Afrikaans bly maar die beste taal ooit!!!!!!
Sy het so baie plooie, sy skroef haar hoed op!
Ek is nou so lui my hol hang oop!
Ek is nou so opgewonde soos ?n budgie op steroids!
Jy's so skeel jy kyk jouself diep in die o?!
Hy ?s so kort hy weet nie of dit keelseer of aambeie is nie.
Hy ?s so kort hy slaan tot sy onderbroek se pype om.
Hy is so maer, as hy langs 'n wit muur loop lyk dit soos n kraak wat beweeg!
Hy is so skelm, hy bid onder ' n skuilnaam
Ek gaan jou klap dat jy lus kry vir niks
Ek sit nou so lekker ek staan sommer op en sit weer.
"Lang gesig soos ?n bok wat afdraand vreet."
"Drank los nie probleme op nie, maar so ook nie melk of water nie."
"Ek voel nou so goed, ek vul sommer die lottonommers verkeerd in."
"Ek is nou so lui ek trou sommer 'n pregnant vrou."
"Ondervinding is iets wat jy eers kry nadat jy dit nodig het."
"Almal kry die voorreg om onnosel te wees, net jammer party maak misbruik daarvan."
"Ek is so de bl*ksem in, ek soen sommer 'n pofadder oopbek"
"My vrou is so lelik, as sy op die sand sit wil die katte haar toekrap.."
"Arende vlieg dalk hoog, maar ons muishonde word nooit deur 'n
vliegtuigmotor ingesuig nie."
"Die mens is op aarde geplaas om ?n sekere hoeveelheid werk te doen. Op die oomblik is ek so ver agter ek sal nooit dood gaan nie."
"Ons kannie almal helde wees nie, iemand moet langs die pad staan en hande klap."
"Ek glo dat as iets die moeite werd was om te doen, dan sou iemand anders dit lankal gedoen het."
"Jy mag nooit meer as jou yskas weeg nie!"
"As jy vir jouself kan lag dan het jy altyd iets om oor te lag."
"As jy lyk soos jou paspoort-foto, dan het jy 'n reis nodig."
