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Super Rugby 2023 QF: Crusaders v Fijian Drua

waiopehu oldboy

waiopehu oldboy

Stirling Mortlock (74)
17:05 AEST Saturday 10 June - Orange Theory Stadium, Christchurch

Marketing ain't my thang but "Razor's Revenge" has a nice ring to it...
 
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Dismal Pillock

Dismal Pillock

Simon Poidevin (60)
Fears of Imminent War Crimes and Crimes against Humanity.

--Reuters--

In a statement released today in Geneva Switzerland, Human Rights Solidarity (HRS), warned of the possibility that the rugby football stormtrooper militias loyal to the Death Star general Commander "Razor" Robertson will next Saturday commit grave violations to International Humanitarian Law (WFT) and International Human Rights Law (FFS) upon an innocent band of harmless Fijian tourists who will reportedly be visiting town for a spot of shopping.

An unnamed ex-Auckland Blues assistant coach said “last night we held an emergency Zoom meeting with lawmakers at the European Parliament in Brussels, and expressed our concerns of the looming threats of atrocities and carnage about to be perpetrated by the renegade Cantabs."

The following individuals are being sought by a Hague judiciary to answer for their conspiring to commit atrocious War Crimes on a medieval level:

- Razor
- Codie Taylor
- Sam Whitelock
- Shiggins
- W.Oldboy

The unnamed ex-Auckland Blues assistant coach went on to say "it goes without saying that I have recommended the militant organisation charged with these crimes by removed from the Super Rugby Football organisation for the remainder of the year no more questions thank you."
 
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waiopehu oldboy

waiopehu oldboy

Stirling Mortlock (74)
- Razor
- Codie Taylor
- Sam Whitelock
- Shiggins
- W.Oldboy

One of those names belongs on an entirely different indictment: Crimes Against The English Language for starters...
 
waiopehu oldboy

waiopehu oldboy

Stirling Mortlock (74)
SamW's half-time subbing v 'canes was due to an Achilles issue & while precautionary it's not known if he'll be fit for QF. ACoach Tamati Ellison quoted as saying "with [SamW] we don't want to take a risk" which I interpret as meaning he'll be given an extra week to recover for a potential SF.
 
waiopehu oldboy

waiopehu oldboy

Stirling Mortlock (74)
Crusaders: 1-Tamaiti Williams, 2-Codie Taylor, 3-Oli Jager, 4-Scott Barrett, 5-Quin Strange, 6-Sione Talitui, 7-Tom Christie, 8-Christian Lio-Willie, 9-Mitch Drummond, 10-Richie Mo'unga, 11-Leicester Fainga'anuku, 12-Jack Goodhue, 13-Braydon Ennor, 14-Dallas McLeod, 15-Will Jordan. Reserves: 16-Brodie McAlister, 17-Kershawl Sykes-Martin, 18-Reuben O'Neill, 19-Zach Gallagher, 20-Ethan Blackadder, 21-Willi Heinz, 22-Fergus Burke, 23-Chay Fihaki
 
waiopehu oldboy

waiopehu oldboy

Stirling Mortlock (74)
Not sure if it would've been mentioned in Aus media but John Afoa isn't eligible for playoffs as he didn't play in NZ prior to 31 March.
 
Dan54

Dan54

Tim Horan (67)
Not sure who all the players are leaving te Drua at end of season, but they may have reason to tear into it!
 
Dismal Pillock

Dismal Pillock

Simon Poidevin (60)
The atrocities have begun. Gruesome war crimes being enacted upon unwitting pacific island tourists.

The only mercy is TJ not being on hand to gleefully rub our faces in the blood and despair.
 
Dismal Pillock

Dismal Pillock

Simon Poidevin (60)
"Mummy, mummy, I don't want to watch any more, the Fiji people are already all dead....."
"By cloak of death starry darkness the corpses are piling up, my child. Avert your eyes and try not to think of the blackness of a Cantabs soul mixed with the rivers of hell running red with murder yeah bugger this, let's change channels."
 
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