Gents,
Schooner Scorer here, 60 second snippet, Scoring the rugby.
"They say Thursday is the new Saturday, Cans cracking open and footy being played"
The schooners are chilled, the spreadsheets are shut, and the team lists are in. As the city wrestles with inflation and Great Northern prices at the Royal Oak, we’re heading into Round 4 with more momentum than a Kings rolling maul.
I’ve missed a few rounds, yes blame work, weddings, and one rogue schooner session that started at the Rose and ended with me explaining the offside rule to a confused Uber driver in Lane Cove. But I’m back. Fresh taper. Fresh spreadsheets. And fresh takes on Round 4, where the real contenders start to flex and the pretenders panic about their forward pod structure.
Newington vs Kings
Prediction: Kings by 8
This is the main course, served hot, loud, and with a touch of Stanmore spice. Newo have flair. Their wingers are electric and big, their crowd louder than a Year 12 D-floor at the Royal Paddo (quiet). But Kings? Kings are a brick wall with a rugby IQ. The pack is heavier than a Paddington brunch bill, and Kings are booting it like they’ve got futures contracts on field position, every kick’s a financial decision. Expect a set-piece masterclass, a few midfield biffs, and some royal discipline to sneak Kings home.
Scots vs Joeys
Prediction: Joeys by 21
Scots might have the postcode, but Joeys have the pedigree. Their defence? Tighter than a Year 12’s formal taper. Their back row moves like they’ve all got 3rd period English to catch. Scots have had flashes, and the new 10 is class, but unless their forwards go full Hercules, the Joeys juggernaut will roll on. Expect a dominant final 20, some chirp from the terraces, and Finn Hannon running it from inside their 22 just to rub it in.
"Ghattas might not wear a cape, but he's a hero in our eyes" (flick to self off the back fence)
Shore vs Riverview
Prediction: View by 17
Shore deserve respect — well-drilled, hardworking, and coaching with actual structure. But Riverview are building steam like a Year 10 science experiment gone right. Their No. 8 is a unit, and their 10 has more control than an 8-figure trading algorithm. This’ll be competitive early, but once View find rhythm, the scoreboard could start climbing like property prices in Mosman.
"Shore’s best hope? Make it a dogfight, win the contact and fuel up on enough Shore mums’ pies to stop a View forward pack in their tracks. Homemade pastry might be their best line of defence."
Schooner's Final Sip
Boys, this round’s got edge. Bragging rights. Future rep jerseys on the line. First XVs are starting to gel, fitness is separating squads, and coaches are either stressing over structure… or wondering if it’s too late to bring back that one 2nd XV lad with "raw potential."
I’ll be floating around Stanmore for the Kings–Newo clash. Come say g’day. I’ll be the bloke with R.M.s, a crisp shirt with a polo quarter zip folded over shoulder, and a schooner metaphor ready for every phase of play.
Until next time,
Schooner OUT.