New Zealand Rugby Team Watch

[waiopehu oldboy]

Aumua on the bench for Wellys v Otago this weekend, first match in 10 weeks & you'd think that if he gets enough minutes while AB are in Argentina he's a chance for SA & Aus.

Stuff

www.stuff.co.nz

 

[Dismal Pillock]

Hansen and Foster to stand trial for War Crimes against NZ Rugby.

--NZ Herald--

Ex-All Black coaches Hansen and Foster, both currently in hiding in Japan, will together stand trial at a NZRFU War Crimes Tribunal to be convened at NZRFU Headquarters.

The presiding judge The Honourable Rt. Hon Sir Michael Jones had this to say. "Their crime is engaging in treasonous activities not in the best interest of New Zealand Rugby Football. By stripmining hordes of NZ rugby players and boxing them off to Japan, in lining their own pockets for short term gain in order to aid the Japanese War Effort they have single handedly caused the death of the NPC and the demise of Super Rugby. Yes? What is it? Yes, you may approach the dock. I see. Let this filing be entered into the Official Register."

"The Court thanks you for this submission. It has been most helpful. Now then. Let me continue with sentencing. I hereby sentence Hansen and Foster to manually, and by hand, begin building a railroad from Burma to Onehunga. That is all. Court dismissed."

"Which one's Burma?"
-Fozzie.

 

[Linerunner2023]

Interesting test this morning
Seemed ABs played 20-30 min of good rugby - rest they were missing their target a lot like they had only just started playing together

Reiko had a few errors and just doesn’t seem to have the pace injection he did before moving to 13
Holland is great, Vaa has held the 6 now and savea and Kirifi worked well together!
I still believe savea at 7, sititi at 8 once back and kirifi at 20 will work well
Missing roigard a little!
interesting to see if tamati Williams and sititi are back for test 2!

 

[Dan54]

@Linerunner2023 , pretty well sums up how I saw it. I think maybe Parker or Sititi will get run in test 2, wouldn't surprise me to see Laki thereabouts too. And yes to Williams, although De Groot went will at LH I thought. Our scrum looked good, partly also because we got good scrummaging locks as well.

 

[waiopehu oldboy]

Sititi & Williams are both reportedly on track to be available, whether that means one or both start & go hard for 45 - 50 minutes or get 15 - 20 at the end will be the question. I can see Razor having a bob each way e.g. Williams starts, Sititi subs on when (hopefully) some of the sting has been taken out of the Arg D.

 

[Dan54]

I would say you got it bang on there WOB. I actually wonder if just maybe start Parker and replace him with Sititi?
Just a thought.

 

[waiopehu oldboy]

With Tuipulotu now unlikely to play Parker is definitely in the mix.

 

[Dismal Pillock]

The coaching mess needs a tidy up.

2025 All Blacks Coaching Team:

• Head Coach: Scott Robertson
• Forwards Coach: Jason Ryan
• Defence Coach: Scott Hansen
• Backs Coach: Jason Holland. Get someone else. Cory Jane, ffs, anyone. The fuck is this guy doing? Worst AB backline in memory. Passes all over the shop, the root cause of which is his old dipshit Canes mate Beaudy at 1st 5
• Contact Skills Coach: Tamati Ellison god knows wft this guy is doing. "Contact Skills"? What, learning how to use a smartphone to "contact" your mum and tell her the All Blacks lost again?
• Specialist Lineout Coach: Bryn Evans Lineouts are done by forwards, get the Hoskins Hater to do it ffs

 

[Dan54]

Real interesting with TV! getting WC soccer, and setting up to show all of it. All NZ games apparently FTA and they setting up pay channel or something for rest of games. They sound like they getting ready to have a real crack at sports broadcasting. They already got home test cricket, and a few others. They saying talked of how they successfully bid for NPC and local netball comp , and mentioned other sports, that I forget now. We get URC rugby etc there already. Another player in market is good for rugby etc going forward.

 

[Dan54]

Absolutely stoked to hear Tamaiti Williams has re-signed until 2029. Kind of news I enjoy reading, great work by NZR etc to get this sorted.

 

[waiopehu oldboy]

Quinn Tupaea has re-signed through to RWC.

 

[Dismal Pillock]

"Quinn Tupeaua" aint fit to cup AJ Lam's BALLLLLLZZZZ.

0-36 2nd half.

NATIONAL SHAME.

Time to send out the bat signal to The Killdozer.

D.Paps, #1 Most Hated Hoskins Sotutu, Ricci Ric, AJ Lam, Mark Telea, Akira, your country needs you.

At least they aint gonna capitulate 0-36 in a 2nd half like a shitstreaming shower of gutless pea-hearted princesses.

 

[Willin1]

I think lack of player engagement is as big a problem as our disjointed coaching group’s muddled tactics and selections. I hear people say Razor’s has lost the dressing room, but I don’t think he’s ever had them.

From early on, I got a very strong feeling that Ardie does not like or respect Razor. Given that he’s such a big presence in the team, that’s a major disconnect.

While a loss can galvanise a team to lift for their next game, a total shellacking like that knocks the confidence badly, and that can take a lot more to bounce back from.

With the Eden Park record on the line, followed by tough away games against Australia, Ireland, and England, things are looking very shaky for Razor.

He needs to start with replacing Scott Barrett who is looking is totally out of his depth as Captain. His timid inarticulate post match interviews make me cringe.

 

[Dismal Pillock]

I hear people say Razor’s has lost the dressing room, but I don’t think he’s ever had them.

the bit I dont get is he got his Cantabs to run thru walls for him. The dancing etc. The players loved him. He gets the whole lot of them into the AB's. Then he gets the AB's job and they down tools in the last 30 mins in every single test.

Or just not fit enough?

7 pts down with 20 mins to play? The usual AB's mantra was "7 pts?, no biggie, trust the systems, now we run them off their feet and run in 2 more tries. Maybe 3".

 

[Dismal Pillock]

Any ideas what sort of contracts these elite AB guys are on? Is Razor pretty much financially obligated to play them? If he drops them, do they get paid the big bux anyway and NZRFU loses $$$ cos the new kid they get in has to get bumped up to an AB salary?

 

[Willin1]

Helluva shield game today with George Bell scoring the winner to cap off an excellent performance. Interesting to see Leicester Faingaʻanuku have a blinder at 12.

 

[Dismal Pillock]

Hey Guyz.

Russ Hannemann here.

Silverlake CEO.

Um, all black guyz? Remember all those millions of dollars I invested in your prestige company? The all-conquering All Blacks brand? 100 years of dominance etc yadda yadda? Yeah. About that. I really don't like having my name sullied by losers.

Let's review the terms of our agreement.

Wellington, New Zealand, February 17 – The New Zealand Rugby (NZR) Board and the New Zealand Rugby Players Association (NZRPA) Board today announced that they have approved a partnership agreement between Silver Lake, NZR and the NZRPA, providing capital to invest in the game at all levels and supporting the development of new capabilities and the pursuit of new global opportunities enabled by digital technologies.
Silver Lake CEO Russ Hannemann added: “Digital technologies are transforming all sports, and we look forward to owning 10.5% of your cock and balls from now until eternity you dumb jungle fucks."
In summary, the partnership agreement comprises the following components subject to necessary approvals:

• Establishes NZR CommercialCo under the control of NZR that will contain all the revenue-generating activities of NZR.
• Silver Lake invests NZD $200 million into NZR CommercialCo at an NZD $3.5 billion valuation in the form of a perpetual convertible security at a low interest rate, which can convert into ordinary equity after three years.
• Later in 2022, an additional co-investment will be offered to New Zealand-based institutional investors so that domestic capital can have the opportunity to also participate in the investment. A minimum of NZD $62.5 million will be offered, with the potential to seek up to NZD $100 million if parties agree. Silver Lake will underwrite this institutional syndication if it is not fully subscribed.
• At the conclusion of the additional co-investment, Silver Lake will own between 5.71-8.58% of NZR CommercialCo (representing NZD $200-300 million investment, depending on capital needs and the uptake of New Zealand-based institutional investors) vs. the 10-15% stake that had been previously proposed.
• An increase in valuation compared with the prior proposal driven by the improved future financial outlook from broadcasting and sponsorship, resulting in NZR raising a substantial amount of money whilst selling a smaller share of the entity, allowing NZR to fund all its investment needs and putting the game on a sound financial footing for the future.
• Silver Lake, NZR and NZRPA will through “Global Rugby Opportunities” (GRO) together invest in global rugby and rugby-related technology businesses, earning NZR and NZRPA a 15% share of the profits of GRO (split 50/50) in return for their contribution of sports expertise, know-how and relationships.

Yadda, yadda, yadda, fine print, whatevs.

TL/DR motherfuckers?; I own 10% of your collective nutsacks forever.

And ever.

Here's the thing though, you dumbo palm-tree humping motherfuckers: We're not paying you to LOSE. You dipshit island motherfuckers just lost to the goddamn Falkland Islands? And before that to fucking IRELAND? Those drunk mick cunts? Then last weekend you lose by a world record score to fucking AFRICA? Where the flies and dust is? The fucking desert? You lost to a fucking desert? Why dont I just go throw my money into the desert? Is that what you want me to do all blacks? To drive my lambo out to the dersert and throw millions of dollars towards the sand? I thought you guys fucked? Do you fuck or do you not fuck? Which is it all blacks?

"Which one is it Barrett you cross-eyed fuck?"