British & Irish Lions tour of New Zealand (2017)
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Dismal Pillock
Simon Poidevin (60)
SORRY VISITING TEAM COMPRISING THE PINNACLE OF POWER AND MIGHT OF 4 COMBINED NATIONS BUT SOME UGLY C**TS FROM ONEHUNGA ARE HERE TO FUCK UP YOUR PARTY
Dismal Pillock
Simon Poidevin (60)
In summary, losing to those boring zero-dynamism scrum & lineout automatons would’ve been a travesty of justice.
Money Bill, all is forgiven.
"Mummsy, one has shat one's bed. Can you send a new duvet?"
Dismal Pillock
Simon Poidevin (60)
I was absolutely fucking gobsmacked at that last Lions lineout. Right on the fucking goalline. All the fat Lions gits had to do was catch the ball, form a maul and fall over the trylime. Game over. BLUES HAVE NO IDEA HOW TO DEFEND A ROLLING MAUL. NO FUCKING IDEA. Then the hooker steps up and biffs the fucken thing halfway to Onehunga. Cue gales of laughter.
Marler getting turned over 5 metres out was another miraculously flukey moment. (Double movement? Happens at every second bloody ruck!)
The winning try, Luatua to SBW to West, was gifted from upon high, gifted from upon the deliciously beating wings of the Arch Angle Gabriel, a virginal gift emanating from the almond cleavages of schools of topless angels, trumpeting in sumptuous lilting sopranic unison to herald the envisioned birth of Glory, Jesus, Satan, Santa, Icarus and the Forthcoming Dynasty from Upon High as Foretold in The Prophecy.
Marler getting turned over 5 metres out was another miraculously flukey moment. (Double movement? Happens at every second bloody ruck!)
The winning try, Luatua to SBW to West, was gifted from upon high, gifted from upon the deliciously beating wings of the Arch Angle Gabriel, a virginal gift emanating from the almond cleavages of schools of topless angels, trumpeting in sumptuous lilting sopranic unison to herald the envisioned birth of Glory, Jesus, Satan, Santa, Icarus and the Forthcoming Dynasty from Upon High as Foretold in The Prophecy.
Blue
Andrew Slack (58)
Lions look pretty good when they slow it down. Skill at pace got them though.
And then they could not dominate in the loose which meant they could not build prolonged pressure.
It's not crisis yet, but if they lose on Saturday they are proper farked.
Watching this game was EXACTLY the same as the games we have all witnessed this season where the SAFFA and AUS teams struggled against the Kiwi teams.
The pace goes up but the accuracy holds and your defense starts to creak.
Personally I think the Lions will be competitive in the tests when Gatland works out his best 23 but they are going to struggle all the way.
SBW has hit form at EXACTLY the right time. Hansen must be creaming himself.
And then they could not dominate in the loose which meant they could not build prolonged pressure.
It's not crisis yet, but if they lose on Saturday they are proper farked.
Watching this game was EXACTLY the same as the games we have all witnessed this season where the SAFFA and AUS teams struggled against the Kiwi teams.
The pace goes up but the accuracy holds and your defense starts to creak.
Personally I think the Lions will be competitive in the tests when Gatland works out his best 23 but they are going to struggle all the way.
SBW has hit form at EXACTLY the right time. Hansen must be creaming himself.
Dismal Pillock
Simon Poidevin (60)
Lions Tour Diary Day 7
Mummy, our coach who talks like the savages was making NO EFFORT WHATSOVER to enunciate his vowels in tonight’s post-match review. It was just all garbled mouth marbles and cotton wool mouth. I couldn’t understand a single dashed word the old fellow said and nor could Crotchpeter, Bumthorpe, Tudor-Bellend, Windsor-Cravat or Gonadberry of House Grointender. I have filed a formal written complaint with Teddy. By the way, some bad news regarding Teddy; he is now quite black. And not from the sun’s rays either. Master Rangi set him on fire. Both Hemi and Rangi now seem to greatly enjoy making a lot of cruel and vicious jokes at Teddy’s expense, most of which seem to have a slightly racial bent. “Don’t cry Tarqy” they say, “maybe now the little c**t’s black he’ll be better at rugby hahaha” and so on and so forth.
Anyway, next stop on the tour is “Christchurch”. Sounds lovely! What a lovely name! Christ and Church! Should be a comfortable enough tour stop with a name like that. Surely not too much rough and tumble on the rugger field would occur in such a delightfully named locale.
-Tarqs and Teddy.
Mummy, our coach who talks like the savages was making NO EFFORT WHATSOVER to enunciate his vowels in tonight’s post-match review. It was just all garbled mouth marbles and cotton wool mouth. I couldn’t understand a single dashed word the old fellow said and nor could Crotchpeter, Bumthorpe, Tudor-Bellend, Windsor-Cravat or Gonadberry of House Grointender. I have filed a formal written complaint with Teddy. By the way, some bad news regarding Teddy; he is now quite black. And not from the sun’s rays either. Master Rangi set him on fire. Both Hemi and Rangi now seem to greatly enjoy making a lot of cruel and vicious jokes at Teddy’s expense, most of which seem to have a slightly racial bent. “Don’t cry Tarqy” they say, “maybe now the little c**t’s black he’ll be better at rugby hahaha” and so on and so forth.
Anyway, next stop on the tour is “Christchurch”. Sounds lovely! What a lovely name! Christ and Church! Should be a comfortable enough tour stop with a name like that. Surely not too much rough and tumble on the rugger field would occur in such a delightfully named locale.
-Tarqs and Teddy.
Dan54
Tim Horan (67)
Well just got home after flying over to watch the game, and have to say a thoroughly enjoyable time was had, well seems we did on Tuesday when we kept finding Lions supporters who needed to have a drink with us, made for a seedy start to yesterday.
The game I enjoyed and few thoughts I had watching,
1 Lions scrum and maul looks bloody good.
2 Young Perefota at 10 for the Blues was ok for a kid in his first starting game, but has a few things to learn
3 I thought one R Ioane was outstanding.
4 SBW made sure his name was in the AB team, he played bloody well, did a lot of work off the ball.
5 Akira Ioane is showing the ability he promised last year, seems to have remembered as a 6 you get stuck into EVERYTHING!
6 Haven't written off these Lions yet, definitely look like they still getting combos sorted, and will be a lot better when main team etc have a couple of games together.
The game I enjoyed and few thoughts I had watching,
1 Lions scrum and maul looks bloody good.
2 Young Perefota at 10 for the Blues was ok for a kid in his first starting game, but has a few things to learn
3 I thought one R Ioane was outstanding.
4 SBW made sure his name was in the AB team, he played bloody well, did a lot of work off the ball.
5 Akira Ioane is showing the ability he promised last year, seems to have remembered as a 6 you get stuck into EVERYTHING!
6 Haven't written off these Lions yet, definitely look like they still getting combos sorted, and will be a lot better when main team etc have a couple of games together.
Inside Shoulder
Nathan Sharpe (72)
I hope that NZ schools team is NZ primary schools
zer0
Jim Lenehan (48)
The Crusaders have named their side for Saturday's tour match.
1. Joe Moody
2. Codie Taylor
3. Owen Franks
4. Luke Romano
5. Sam Whitelock (C)
6. Heiden Bedwell-Curtis
7. Matt Todd
8. Jordan Taufua
9. Bryn Hall
10. Richie Mo'unga
11. George Bridge
12. David Havili
13. Jack Goodhue
14. Seta Tamanivalu
15. Israel Dagg
16. Ben Funnell
17. Wyatt Crockett
18. Michael Ala'alatoa
19. Quinten Strange
20. Jed Brown
21. Mitchell Drummond
22. Mitchell Hunt
23. Tim Bateman
Nine All Blacks. Six of them starting in their beefy pack. They're not taking any prisoners. Good stuff.
EDIT: In saying that Havili is back in the midfield. IIRC he's had some absolute shockers there over the last few seasons before he was moved to fullback.
1. Joe Moody
2. Codie Taylor
3. Owen Franks
4. Luke Romano
5. Sam Whitelock (C)
6. Heiden Bedwell-Curtis
7. Matt Todd
8. Jordan Taufua
9. Bryn Hall
10. Richie Mo'unga
11. George Bridge
12. David Havili
13. Jack Goodhue
14. Seta Tamanivalu
15. Israel Dagg
16. Ben Funnell
17. Wyatt Crockett
18. Michael Ala'alatoa
19. Quinten Strange
20. Jed Brown
21. Mitchell Drummond
22. Mitchell Hunt
23. Tim Bateman
Nine All Blacks. Six of them starting in their beefy pack. They're not taking any prisoners. Good stuff.
EDIT: In saying that Havili is back in the midfield. IIRC he's had some absolute shockers there over the last few seasons before he was moved to fullback.
Heavyd
Nev Cottrell (35)
At least the Lions are getting a glimpse of what the Wallabies have had to put up with for 20 years. Offsides, not rolling away and not releasing the ball carrier. Sadly the Lions wont win another game.
Before all the keywees fire up I might add that NZ are way to skillful and play a high paced tempo attacking rugby that is currently unstoppable. Its only when defending do they employ the frustrating slowdown tactics which for the life of me referees refuse to penalise.
Before all the keywees fire up I might add that NZ are way to skillful and play a high paced tempo attacking rugby that is currently unstoppable. Its only when defending do they employ the frustrating slowdown tactics which for the life of me referees refuse to penalise.
Dan54
Tim Horan (67)
Or maybe the Refs just know the laws of the game!! Lol and I not even fired up because it such a stupid post I know you just having a laugh