Round 3
Last weekend saw the field thin somewhat and two schools emerged to fight for the honour of the silver place medal. Medical science imported from Russian sports labs and "unknown" special ingredients have already determined the premiership this season as Darth Lambert foresaw it. It is now only a race to see who will be last rebel alliance to fall. Last weekend the Dark Empire showed no mercy over the brave Northern Rebels of Lane Cove with a typical first half display. Then (as has been the recent practice) the iron foot is taken away from the throat and they throttled back in the second half. Will this tactic continue to work? The Holstein Cows of North Parramatta continued to trample those before them into the brown, barren earth and the Shoremen were the latest to fall beneath the hoof of their monster pack. The cattle dogs and spring lambs of Joeys held their nerve and kicked their goals against the vastly improved Wookies of Stanmore who outscored the cattle dogs by a try. I have it it on good authority that said Newington kicker took the loss very hard but has been well supported by his mates. These days happen. So with all this in mind....what will happen this weekend?
Scots College vs Shore at the Death Star
What can be gained from this match other than pride for the Shoremen. The Empire's game plan will be as always the same. Let the imperial walkers stomp mercilessly over the Shore defenses and then let loose the deadly efficient Tie fighters to wipe out what resistance is left. The Shore men know what is coming. They know that the Scots "Belyash" pie, while created in former Soviet science lab located somewhere in the lower Ural mountains, may just have a small weakness. So far not a side has discovered the small vent shaft, which, if exploited, will lead to a destruction of the Scots Death Star and the restoration of a "clean" competition. Scots have weapons all over the park and if the tribes of Northbridge they should be inspired by the hopeless odds overcome by other northern heroes like William Wallace. A talented back rower for
Edinburgh Wanderers 1st grade, this Scottish laddie also knew how to stir his men with a good Scotch pie for which is sold till this day on the side of Sailors Bay (Rd) He took on the best the British had to offer at Bannockburn without any "hyperbaric chambers" and beat the bastards back. I say, to hell with the play book Shore. Swing away, run till your lungs burst, attack them with brutal defense, harass them at the barricades, slow walk onto the ground, heads held high and never bloody surrender. Let the Dark Empire beat you only on the scoreboard and never in your heart. Make sure you take some Scots College skin and teeth home as trophies. Kings and Joeys will thank you.
Shore taking the field.... "You may win this game but you will never take our pride"
Newington vs St Ignatius at Planet Kashyyy
Like a Tongan feast left cooking in the ground for a day, you never really know what will turn up with Newington till it is revealed. Last weekend the Stanmore Wookies failed at the final hurdle which was cruel as many felt they had the measure of the cattle dogs and deserved the win considering their fight back. This week they take on a slightly wounded Riverview team who have had the consolation knowing that the Loretto girls would never leave them for the the storm troopers from Bellevue. Riverview were the latest roadkill on the way to global domination for Scots but View did do things right in the second half. Riverview have yet to play their best football I feel and my scouts who have swum the Lane Cove river (dodging the eels) tell me that this week Riverview will be building and bulking up again. Mothers across the area are heaping extra helpings on to their son's plate and late night runs to Ogalo in Lane Cove for the Portuguese-style BBQ chicken wraps. While many fans would consider the rejuvenated Newington teams "Pai Siamu" to be too sweet, I feel they may have found something that will contend with the Riverview's Spanish Chicken pie (inspired by St Ignatius himself, little known inside centre for Zarautz Rugby Taldea) Maybe not the match of the round, but one which I feel will provide a wonderful spectacle for all who turn up. Newington by a pork chop.
Newington team photo day
St Joseph's College vs The Kings School at "the best rugby playing surface I have ever seen" (All Black Coach Steve Hansen 2012)
Match of the Round. No debate there. Result decided? Not on your life! What do Kings bring to the hallowed grounds of Joeys number 1? To begin with their size and strength is best represented in their
traditional beef pie. No nonsense, pure ground beef with a hint of spice to boot. The Kings approach this season has been to find the perfect combination of brute force with finesse and the Kings beef cattle have that. The Holstein like forward pack has monstered Shore and View to date and provided Barker with a very tough game. While Barker took the bakers tray that day Kings learnt much from the defeat and have since improved well. Like Joeys, they play as a herd and do not let any young bull calf get ahead of itself. Kings look irresistible this weekend. BUT....Joeys have been in this paddock before. The past has seen many a Kings side, brim full of mother's beef casserole and black pudding come unstuck against the sprightly lambs and nipping cattle dogs of Hunters Hill. Joeys number 1 is well known for its sure footing, soft surface and fast sidelines. The cattle dogs of Joeys enjoy nothing more than causing havoc and are not intimidated at all by the enormous Kings cattle. That is what makes them different. The Joeys key weapon has been as always the 16th man in the stand (ie: the rest of the school) who's bleating screams inspire the Joeys boys and bring doubt to the visitors. Kings of course will be well supported from the Mercedes Utes in Augustine street, but it maybe the lungs of the Joeys boys, on mass, will bring the cattle dogs home. My head says Kings, my heart says Joeys. Bugger.....Joeys by 5 lamb chops.
Kings prop attempts to catch the Joeys number 7.
