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The Big V

Discussion in 'Everything Else' started by RugbyReg, May 10, 2010.

  1. RugbyReg George Smith (75)

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    Anyone had the snip?

    My wife and I have recently confirmed the delightful let surprising news that we are expecting out 4th.

    So, to prevent such 'delights' in the future, and because it seems that Durex can't make effective products, I am CONSIDERING a vasectomy. Any stories here?
  2. Scarfman Knitter of the Scarf

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    Piss easy . actually, let me rephrase that.

    The main thing is that you can look forward to the old splash-and-dash and have no doubts on your mind. They tell me that women enjoy sex more knowing that there's no risk of pregnancy.

    You have to remove hair from your nutsack first, which is not fun. I refused to shave, so I used some depilitary cream. Worked nicely, except that my sack had something like carpet burns. Still, not too bad.

    The operation is either local-only or local plus Midazolam/Hypnovel, which I would recommend. It makes you very relaxed, and you don't remember anything. Anything, for example, like having a small hole cut in your sack, having each vas deferens pulled out, cut and cauterised.

    Recovery takes a few days. It's not fun. It's like having really sore balls. You know?

    Ejaculation feels a little odd at first. Then you don't notice any difference.

    And that's it - wham, bam, thank you ma'am.
  3. RugbyReg George Smith (75)

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    all right all right. Sounding promising.
  4. Gagger Nick Farr-Jones (63)

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    Save yourself some dough and get two bricks
    Moses likes this.
  5. mark_s Chilla Wilson (44)

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    Our third baby has just arrived and it was our second surprise - I shot through the pill twice. The wife is threatening me with the big V but instead we are going to try mirena out:

    http://www.mariestopes.com.au/contents/2. MSI Mirena Fact Sheet - Dec05.pdf

    OUr obstetrician reckons its the good and very very very effective. He can install it when my wife is back for the 6 week post birth check up in a few weeks time
  6. Pfitzy Tim Horan (67)

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    Well, my wife has been on various forms of the pill ever since I met her (and in fact since her mid-teens), except for those times while we were either

    A) In the leadup to trying to get pregnant
    B) Trying to get pregnant (which we're remarkably successful at - I have only missed that target once)
    C) She was breastfeeding.

    After the second one she tried Implanon (the thing they jam in the arm which they say lasts three years). We continued to use raincoats in order to prevent mark's situation above (silly boy - 96% effective means 4% completely friggin INeffective).

    The Implanon took her from slightly grumpy to outright-batshit-Hitler crazy during PMT week, so we agreed it was time to ditch that shit and move into a more easily handled situation ie. my nuts.

    I had the operation back in January, and its pretty much like Scarfy says. Here's my experience:

    1) You go in with the cute nurse and she asks you all the questions and makes sure you want nothing more to do with spawning.

    2) You sit around and wait for the doc, who grabs you by the nuts and makes sure your each of your vas are in order and ready to be messed with.

    3) Go into the op room, pants off (you can keep your socks on - I wanted to wear long socks that said "Don't fuck it up doc" but was convinced him laughing would be bad for precision).

    4) Ugly nurse shaves the front of the bag and a bit of the surrounding forest

    5) They seal off the area with a surgical sheet and go to work.

    The initial pain of the local is just like having your nuts squeezed by a French forward but you get past that once the local kicks in to each tube. The only disconcerting part after that is the smell when they start cauterizing stuff, but you can't feel it.

    The recovery was actually the worst bit, but manageable with pain relief. Having kids around the house while that is going on is probably not the best thing as they tend to jump on you. :'(

    I got a small localised infection in the right vas which was easily treated by oral antibiotics. And I kind of like the shaved look so I'm keeping on with that :)

    I did the chuck-into-a-jar test the other day and am awaiting the results. Hopefully they arrive on Friday, which is Mrs TA's birthday, and for the first time in a long time she might also be in the mood on that birthday 8)
  7. cyclopath Phil Waugh (73)

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    Just let me know if any of you guys want an expert opinion here. ;)
    Well, more expert. :lmao:
    By the way, special rates for forum members.
    Saffers and Kiwis I do for free as a community service!
  8. Pfitzy Tim Horan (67)

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    Physician, heal thyself? :) Ah I forget - you're not a student of the physick, but a barber.
  9. cyclopath Phil Waugh (73)

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    Nothing heals like cold steel, mate.
  10. TheRiddler Dave Cowper (27)

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    I'm quite envious of you all. Unfortunately myself and Mrs Riddler have the opposite problem.
  11. RugbyReg George Smith (75)

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    yeah Riddler. I hear you and am sorry for you. have plenty of friends (and a couple of family members) in the same boat. I do count my blessings that they have come to us so easily.
  12. Scotty David Codey (61)

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    I bet your wife doesn't
    Moses likes this.
  13. DPK Peter Sullivan (51)

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    As a young man, this thread saddens me. All of this ahead of me. :'(
  14. Moses Simon Poidevin (60)

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  15. RugbyFuture Lord Logo

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    just imagine the poor kid when they get told they were the accident that forced him to get it..
  16. MrTimms Ken Catchpole (46)

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    I've had it, Scarfy is pretty spot on, only thing I would add is DO WHAT THEY TELL YOU TO WHEN RECOVERING!!!

    I didn't and I paid for it.

    I put off the appt a couple of time for work and eventually got one right in the middle of a conference I was attending. unfortunately, it was in the morning and the afternoon had scheduled one of the sessions of the conference I really wanted to attend. So I went and had the snip, I had the local + (and recommend aswell), all going well, went home, felt tops. I am not sure if the local hadn't worn off yet or something, but I decided to attend the session, got dressed and got the mrs to run me down there. All going well, until I am sitting in the session waiting for it to start and feel something strange, look down and there was a lot of bleeding,

    I rang the mrs and got picked straight back up (I had a jumper to hide it). Tidied it all up and home and nothing obvious was wrong, iced it and rested, missed the last day of the conference.. anyway. started noticing some swelling and things got very painful. turns out I had caused a haematoma. put up with a sack the size of a large grapefruit (proportions and firmness) for about 6 weeks while it dissolved again.

    Anyway, passed the tests. I have a certificate now that says if the mrs gets pregnant again, I can go. But the moral is, DO WHAT THEY TELL YOU TO WHEN RECOVERING!!!
  17. Newb Trevor Allan (34)

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    FFS there is a lot of detail in this thread. but entertaining nontheless.

    i'm with DPK, but good luck to you fellas!
  18. Scarfman Knitter of the Scarf

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    Mr Timms - a mate of mine played the hard man and went back to his building work in the aafternoon. His nutsack turned BLACK. :lmao:
  19. MrTimms Ken Catchpole (46)

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    :lmao: I forgot about the evil rainbow of colours generated, I only wish I took more photos.
  20. Moses Simon Poidevin (60)

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    Please don't post the photos!

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