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Worst Commentator Pole Action

Discussion in 'Rugby Matches' started by Dismal Pillock, Mar 23, 2014.


Worst Commentator?

Phil Kearns 60 vote(s) 43.5%
All of the above 11 vote(s) 8.0%
Tony Johnstone 8 vote(s) 5.8%
Grant Nesbit 7 vote(s) 5.1%
Keith Quinn 4 vote(s) 2.9%
Greg Martin 59 vote(s) 42.8%
Justin Marshall 7 vote(s) 5.1%
Shiggins 12 vote(s) 8.7%
Murray Mexted 11 vote(s) 8.0%
the bokke guy who sounds a bit posh 11 vote(s) 8.0%
Multiple votes are allowed.
  1. Dismal Pillock Geoff Shaw (53)

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    "You've misspelt 'poll', you bloody idiot.
    Go back and fix it. Hurry up, I'm watching."
  2. Sully John Eales (66)

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    I got you covered!
  3. Sully John Eales (66)

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    Keep the personal stuff out of this one guys. Please.
  4. ChargerWA Mark Loane (55)

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    Tony Johnstone. His impartiality appears to have completed evaporated. I find him borderline offensive these days.

    Please note, Phil Kearns was not considered for this award as I do not even consider him worthy of the Commentator title.
  5. Dismal Pillock Geoff Shaw (53)

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    I thought it was obvious that was a joke.

    Silverado likes this.
  6. Sully John Eales (66)

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    I can change it back.

    Sent from my GT-I9300 using Tapatalk
  7. waiopehu oldboy David Wilson (68)

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    Worst lead commentator has gotta be the sethfricken bloke, followed by Sumo who should stick to doing mildly amusing bits for TCGW. Used to like Bray back in the day but he seems to be stuck in some late-80's/early-90's time warp when it comes to the Laws of the Game.

    Worst "expert" comments man is a tough choice, there being so many who simply don't know what the fuck they're talking about. Of the current crop I'd rate Kearns the worst with Martin right up there & Skinstad not far behind. Mexted was truly awful, the ad with him & Nisbet literally calling a game from the car park was bang on the money. Special mention for the Stu's, Wilson & Barnes.

    Sideline-wise I'd have to say that Smith should stick to cricket & Kafer to women's volleyball. Mortlock could be OK if he'd learn how to construct a sentence.
    Peter Toohey, The Pirate, BPC and 4 others like this.
  8. Ruggo Mark Ella (57)

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    Mate, I just got to say that I like your sense of humor.
    Scoey likes this.
  9. waiopehu oldboy David Wilson (68)

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    On second thoughts Marto may have overtaken Kearns by virtue of his twin efforts last night, "is that really worth 3 points?" in response to a pretty fucking obvious head high & the crap about plastic studs & Alby weighing 75kg after his bit of tap dancing. Let's see his precious Quade cop either & hear him demand the culprit(s) be hung, drawn & quartered. Kearns is an ass, Martin is wilfully so.
    elementfreak and badabing59 like this.
  10. qwerty51 Jason Little (69)

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    I think the difference is Kearns doesn't take himself very seriously, most of his bias is obvious and playful - you can tell he doesn't really mean it. With Marto I don't think he's ever joking.
    Tomikin and BDA like this.
  11. cyclopath Phil Waugh (73)

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    Yeah, to a point Kearns plays the one-eyed fool, Martin just is.
    I'm not a big fan of listening to either.
  12. Dismal Pillock Geoff Shaw (53)

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    bit surprised at this poll, here at GAGR, messrs Kearns and Martin (is he the one who spiels off reams of historical stats thru the whole match?) running away with it despite being so pro-Aus.

    The disservice Kearns has done R.Mccaw over the years with the constant "cheat" bleats could be chalked up as "tongue in cheek" but to me is reminiscent of that old Chomsky adage of a musician seeing a master violinist and, in a competitive rage, and because such feats are beyond them, simply wanting to break their violin.
    waiopehu oldboy likes this.
  13. cyclopath Phil Waugh (73)

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    GAGR is pro-Aus, TSF is pro-NZ, and I'm sure there's a Saffer place of similar ilk. We're all a bit biased, but an ass-clown is an ass-clown.
    I think the truth of McCaw lies somewhere between his canonised state in some places, and Kearns' appraisal. I have a lot of respect for Richie, but he isn't the Messiah. He is a bloody good footballer.
    Gnostic and Moses like this.
  14. wamberal David Codey (61)

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    The Australian commentators are the worst, to a man. Dismal. Clarke speaks exclusively in cliches, but none of them ever says anything vaguely insightful.

    The only saving grace is that Greg Martin no longer predicts what is going to happen from the next set piece, probably because he is always wrong. Plus the schoolboy hoots and hollers from Kearns and Martin seem to be have been banned, finally.

    Chaps, tell us what is worth telling us, explain the rulings (if you can), tell us the name of the player who does something, and forget about the predictions, the excuses, and the bloody cliches. We have eyes, we can see quite a lot on our screens, it is your job to tell us what we cannot see, and to explain the technical details (remembering that, hopefully, there are some viewers who actually know less about rugby than the commentators - as unlikely as that sounds).

    It would be particularly interesting to know a bit about the background of the less experienced players. Where do they come from, which school/club, etc. Radical, eh?
  15. 199madmave Ward Prentice (10)

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    I am finding Sean Maloney very irritating as a commentator!
    Silverado likes this.
  16. Dismal Pillock Geoff Shaw (53)

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    yeh spot on, reminds me of a few games John Hart did long ago, the level of technical insight was just boggling, he was looking at the same stuff we were yet it was all mapped out differently to him.

    although commentating might not be as easy as it looks, I remember an old Sports Illustrated article where they let blokes off the street have a burl calling the baseball (jeez, what could go wrong there, nobody's moving, nothing ever happens, youve got hours and hours to blab away like a big fat blabby arse) for an afternoon and to a man, despite getting prepped up, they all bombed catastrophically.
  17. waiopehu oldboy David Wilson (68)

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    My main problem with Kearns is that whereas 90% of the people on this site know he's full of shit there are, we hope, plenty of non- footy freaks out there who will hear his shit & think "this guys a former Wallaby captain, he must know what he's talking about" hence the whole Richie McCheat thing, among others.
    Scoey and Dismal Pillock like this.
  18. USARugger John Thornett (49)

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    Bladen is ridiculously biased and impossible for me to listen to for more than 15-20 minutes at a time. Australian announcing team are equally biased but I can listen to them for 2hr and while alarmingly ignorant to the on-goings on field they are enthusiastic and can at least be entertaining at times.

    NZ announcers are biased as well but not quite as much as Oz and Saffas, also provide relatively better analysis but it's live-announcing rugby so there is only so much room for that. They are quality during breaks though, even if Marshall does say something silly once in a while.

    On a positive note Kafer is a gem. The way he described the pendulum defensive system for the back three during the Rebels v. Tahs game on the fly was just awesome! He makes the more advanced aspects of the game accessible even for the Mungo crowd.
  19. Hugh Jarse Rocky Elsom (76)

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    Many Saffer comentators are bi-lingual, Afrikaans and English.

    Most Australian commentators are uni-lingual, English only.

    I reckon Greg Martin could be analingual?
    BPC, badabing59 and USARugger like this.
  20. USARugger John Thornett (49)

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    I know enough German to make sense of most Afrikaans and his accent isn't that 'foreign' to me but it's the verbosity and tone of his voice that I can't listen to for more than a half hour or so.

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