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Japanese Top League - Now showing on Stan!

Dismal Pillock

Andrew Slack (58)
have the top 5 join 5 from NZ, 4 from Aus (I would actually like to see how GRR turns out) and the Jaguares.

Looks good although I wonder if those seeking some slightly easier rugby in a daft wee 3 month season for bags of cash wouldnt be a bit ticked off getting hiffed back into the soup rugby combine harvester.
______________________________

Kurita Water Gush: 0
No, I am not playing silly buggers.
No, you have not stumbled across a bidet infomercial.
Yes, "Kurita Water Gush" isactually the real name of the rugby football team.​
Yes, hopefully the Kurita company make porn films.
Wyclif Palu (!) still in good shape. Tom English. Another solid contender for All-Airport XV.
Kintetsu: 74
Masirewa. Genia. Quade looked sharp. Weirdly though he's stripped back all his penalty shot OCD carry-on... with mixed results.​
All joking aside now, The Water Gush copped a massive geyser of filthy backwash right up their collective clackas in this one.
 

WorkingClassRugger

David Codey (61)
Looks good although I wonder if those seeking some slightly easier rugby in a daft wee 3 month season for bags of cash wouldnt be a bit ticked off getting hiffed back into the soup rugby combine harvester.
______________________________

Kurita Water Gush: 0

No, I am not playing silly buggers.
No, you have not stumbled across a bidet infomercial.
Yes, "Kurita Water Gush" isactually the real name of the rugby football team.
Yes, hopefully the Kurita company make porn films.

Wyclif Palu (!) still in good shape. Tom English. Another solid contender for All-Airport XV.

Kintetsu: 69

Masirewa. Genia. Quade looked sharp. Weirdly though he's stripped back all his penalty shot OCD carry-on. with mixed results.

All joking aside now, The Water Gush copped a massive geyser of filthy backwash right up their collective clackas in this one.


If the money's good enough I think they'll get over it. There's also another alternative. Dual contracting. Super Rugby franchises could form partnerships with Top League clubs to dual contract players. Meaning, a TT competition could become a thing allowing for the best talent to be retained.
 

Dismal Pillock

Andrew Slack (58)
I'm guessing the "only 3 non-Japanese on the field at any one time" stipulation of seasons past has been biffed. Kobe had BBBBR, DC, Franklin and Buckman together.

Super Rugby still has "marquee players" thing? 2 the limit?
 

Dismal Pillock

Andrew Slack (58)
RD 3

Honda Heat: 23

Snyman with a few more toying with dwarves highlights including one from middle of defending maul, reaching over to dispossess the ball carrier at rear of maul with one goddamn hand, palm the ball, at chuck it to his own 1st 5.

Toshiba Brave Lupus: 32

Leitch
Matt Todd
Richard Kahui. such a weird career. Chiefs/AB's career was 3 minutes of action followed by 3 months off nursing busted shoulder. Then becomes an Iron Man in Japan for 10 years. Guess its easier when you get 8 months off a year. No wonder he kept stuffing up his shoulder though, he STILL doesnt wrap his arms, couldve been carded twice in this match for going for the king boofshot

Too much forceback in this one. Sunny day morans, run it.
 

Dismal Pillock

Andrew Slack (58)
Red Dolphins: 31

"But dolphins arent red" you say. Well, they are in the killing pools of Japan just after they get harpooned in the nutsack. From 26-all this was an INSANE capitulation in the final third

Debrezeni: invisible.

A.Pulu: played 2nd 5! Not surprising really as Japan rugby is awash with halfbacks and props. Plus its not like Pulu knows how to pass a rugby ball anyway.

Gillies Kaka: Isn't he a sevens guy? Seemed to be pretty much just guessing where he should go next here. Plus WFT@his hair. He's gone the fullblown bogan mullet dread route. All he needs is the staunch black shades and its hello to the back seat of the Kingswood from Once Were Warriors.

Toyota Verblitz: 61

Kieran Read: not in 23.

Willie Le Roux. this guy would have to be captain and poster boy for the All Enigmatic XV. You can set your watch to him making a clamfisted hash of every 3rd bloody thing he attempts. Is he even trying? It doesnt really look like it.

Rooting HARD for the Red Dolphins in this one. If my memory is correct, werent Kieran Read and Steve Hansen two of the cantab putzes that presided over lethargically fucking up the dreams of tearful little boys and girls all over New Zealand by sleepwalking to a plan-free RWC exit about 3 weeks ago? I THINK THEY FUCKING WERE YOU KNOW.
 

Dismal Pillock

Andrew Slack (58)
Kobelco: 35
Suntory: 29.

Yess! Love seeing the arrogant champions elect Suntory get run the fuck over.

Kerevi completely outshone by stoned bogan drifter Richard Buckman.

Birdbrained Tevita Li cements his position as one of the dumbest rugby players who ever lived with one of the most comically botched tries of all time. Cantering in, flashes a grin, dives from metres out to slide in. But, oh dear. It's not a wet surface, Tevita. He doesnt slide. He bounces. And knocks the ball on underneath himself. Final losing margin, yes, 6 points.
 

Dismal Pillock

Andrew Slack (58)
Ricoh: 26. Robbie Robertson. Levon Helm. Elliot Dixon Balls.
NEC: 12. Steven Donald. That Blues twerp Lolagi Visinia

Yamaha: 69. some kiwi called Malo Tuitama scored 6 tries. Last week beat NTT 82-7. Some other side won 97-0 last week. Some of these teams are really starting to lay the murder on pricks.
Mitsubishi: 7

Panasonic at 5 and 0 setting the pace. Sam Whitelock, Pocock and Deans. Like a mini Death Star.
 

Dismal Pillock

Andrew Slack (58)
poor Japanese comms having to pronounce "Le Roux". Ruru this, Ruru that.

The guy must drive his coaches craaaaazayyyy. Just bombed THREE scoring chances by himself within 60 seconds. Shit pass to winger, shelled it with tryline begging, then another garbage forward pass to his wingers feet.
 

Dismal Pillock

Andrew Slack (58)
"The Japan Top League has been suspended for three weeks of action following the reported arrest of a player on suspicion of using cocaine."

https://www.nzherald.co.nz/rugby/news/article.cfm?c_id=80&objectid=12315247

Really? Or is this just a way of extending the suspension of the comp due to coronavirus without mentioning coronavirus?

holy shit yeah. they've martyred the poor git right down the river.

"Regrettably, the entire blame for the competition closing can now be comfortably pinned on this one foreign gaijin drug addict. As we thought, all foreigner cannot be trusted. See? Whether with importing china bat virus, or running Nissan, or infecting other rugby player all over field with liquid cocaine. In Executive Summary, this one gaijin drug addict has destroyed entire Japan economy by importing and snorting Corona virus with gaijin buddies in back of rugby tour bus."
 

The Grey Man

Allen Oxlade (6)
Have the All Time Criminals XV Selectors been advised of this players credentials and their aspirations for higher representational honours?

Grinding an entire countries top rugby competition to a standstill is certainly worthy of Selectors consideration if not fast tracking to Match Day 23.
 

Dismal Pillock

Andrew Slack (58)
https://japantoday.com/category/spo...gn-athletes-enter-japan-on-conditions-sources

Oops, this could initiate a mass buggering off

Players for basketball's B-League and volleyball's V-League -- whose seasons start in October -- as well as those in table tennis' T-League, rugby's Top League and professional golf are among those who will be allowed into Japan, they said.
Have the All Time Criminals XV Selectors been advised of this players credentials and their aspirations for higher representational honours?

Grinding an entire countries top rugby competition to a standstill is certainly worthy of Selectors consideration if not fast tracking to Match Day 23.
Could be worth a look as "Holistic Medicine Team Doctor"
 

waiopehu oldboy

Nathan Sharpe (72)
Read during the week that Isaac Ross, a Japanese citizen for many years now, is once again considered a foreigner on account of not being Japan-eligible & has been let go by his Club under the two-foreigners-only rule, his Club having signed two sethfrickens. Seems a bit harsh.
 

waiopehu oldboy

Nathan Sharpe (72)
^ yes........

"......the former Crusaders, Highlanders and Chiefs lock falls under the Top League's foreign quota, part of which limits teams to fielding up to two internationally-capped foreign players at any time, and as a result, his NTT Communications Shining Arcs team has decided not to renew his contract."

........ but no:

"Japanese passport holders who haven't played for another country don't fall under any of these restrictions, however, which has led to teams fielding as many as 11 foreigners at any time."
 
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