Auckland Blues To Infinity and Beyond

[Gnostic]

@ Dismal - makes more sense than the game plan did to the players.

 

[Dismal Pillock]

game plan

game plan? GAME PLAN? That game plan was straight out of the Pat Lam playbook. "Just spin it wide eh you fullas. We got some fast hua's on the outside. Can any of you fullas kick? Nah me neither. Anyway, just boot up some bombs or some shit eh. The other fullas might drop it in the rain! The ball can be slippery in the rain. Any of you c**ts got gloves? Some of you fat marries are pretty unco eh. Maybe some rubber gardening gloves or some shit. Anyway try not to get too wet, see you jokers at halftime, I'll be up in the nice dry coaches box hahahaha"

 

[Teh Other Dave]

game plan? GAME PLAN? That game plan was straight out of the Pat Lam playbook. "Just spin it wide eh you fullas. We got some fast hua's on the outside. Can any of you fullas kick? Nah me neither. Anyway, just boot up some bombs or some shit eh. The other fullas might drop it in the rain! The ball can be slippery in the rain. Any of you c**ts got gloves? Some of you fat marries are pretty unco eh. Maybe some rubber gardening gloves or some shit. Anyway try not to get too wet, see you jokers at halftime, I'll be up in the nice dry coaches box hahahaha"

One fatal flaw, D. Pillock - can't smoke bungers in the coaches' box. I suspect he'll be under the grandstand, on his phone to his bookie.

 

[waiopehu oldboy]

SBW set to join the Bloos from next year:

http://www.stuff.co.nz/sport/rugby/...as-sonny-bill-williams-set-to-sign-with-blues

Previous history with Tana at Toulon & more recently Counties-Manukau so not too surprising.

 

[Lindommer]

True, woh. I suspect the fact his wife and baby girl are happily ensconced in Auckland surrounded by family was the clincher. Trekking 60km down to Hamilton four times a week doesn't seem so attractive when the cheese and kisses is 10 minutes away.

 

[ChargerWA]

Holy shit, look at the melon on that Flexman bloke.

http://www.stuff.co.nz/sport/rugby/...as-sonny-bill-williams-set-to-sign-with-blues

 

[oztimmay]

So, Dismal, SBW will grace Auckland once again...

http://www.smh.com.au/rugby-union/b...-rugby-side-and-nz-rugby-20160531-gp8n8h.html

 

[The torpedo]

Apparently Charlie Faumuina is going to Toulouse for 2017 in the French superannuation league (article in french) :

http://www.rugbyrama.fr/rugby/transferts/2016/transfert-top-14-stade-toulousain-charlie-faumuina-all-blacks-au-club-en-juin-2017_sto5641658/story.shtml

 

[oztimmay]

Gavin Mortimer, through midi, confirms the same. Usually a reliable source of information.

 

[zer0]

Disappointing if true. Still, he's the same age as Owen Franks, and has Nepo Laulala breathing down his neck at test level.

 

[Dismal Pillock]

18-Inch Tall Rugby Player a Colossus Among Men

--SMH--

18-inch tall rugby player George Moala is a colossus among men. "We have no answer" confide opposing coaches. "An 18 inch tall player with a 180 kg bench press? That is some low centre of gravity shit."

A Centre of Gravity.
18-inch tall George Moala, seen here on the weekend casually walking through all the weak Welsh attempted tackles en route to the tryline.

 

[cyclopath]

"The Mole"

 

[Dismal Pillock]

 

[waiopehu oldboy]

Levita Li off to Dunners:

http://www.stuff.co.nz/sport/rugby/...li-to-highlanders-for-2017-super-rugby-season

Then off to chase the £,€ or ¥?

 

[zer0]

Meh. Hasn't done much apart from bullying his way around the North Harbour 1st XV and international U20 competitions. Melani-Nanai has had far more of an impact this season.

Added to that, Umaga needs to fit Ranger, Moala and Williams into a single backline next year. I imagine that Ranger will move back out to the wing.

EDIT: The Blues and Chiefs are also in a contest for Nanai-Williams signature for next season. Given Umaga's crusade to return Counties to the fatherland, there's a real possibility of him joining the Blues. So there's also that to consider.

 

[waiopehu oldboy]

Blues will be looking for two new AC's:

http://www.planetrugby.com/news/blues-coaches-move-on/

Wonder who Tana might have in mind?

 

[zer0]

What is Mark Anscombe up to these days? His Auckland pack from a few years ago was very handy.

EDIT: Apparently he's coaching Canada now.

 

[Dismal Pillock]

Blues 2017 Schedule

home in bold

v Rebels, Thursday February 23. Off to Melb to pick up the quick W
v Chiefs, Friday March 3. Back to earth with a bump. L
v Highlanders, Saturday March 11. Usually full of beans for first home game. W
v Crusaders, Friday March 17 jesus did these guys enter a team in the comp AGAIN? Every bloody year. L
v Bulls, Saturday March 25. Oh shit. Inexplicable loss Blues style. L
v Force, Saturday April 1. Speedbump baby. W
v Highlanders, Saturday April 8. revenge match. Landers will be humming by then. L
v Hurricanes, Saturday April 15. upset of the season. W
v Brumbies, Sun April 30 reprise of last season, we’re back you boring truck and trailer pricks. W
v Waratahs, Saturday May 6. Blitzkrieg jailbreak, halogens, sirens, oh god, not the face, not the face. W.
v Cheetahs, Friday May 12. 1997 54-47 throwback game. W
v Stormers, Friday May 19 travel was too much plus Ofa kept farting on the plane. No sleep. L
v Chiefs, Friday May 26. Oh shit. L
v Reds, Friday June 2 Final home game, out with a bang W.
v Sunwolves, Saturday July 15. Win to finish 9 and 6 but due to ribbon for all the foreigners conference bullshit, miss the playoffs so drown sorrows with MASSIVE piss-up in Tokyo that night. Ofa accidentally joins the Japanese mafia. For life.

 

[waiopehu oldboy]

Blues will be looking for two new AC's:

http://www.planetrugby.com/news/blues-coaches-move-on/

Wonder who Tana might have in mind?

Steve Jackson for starters:

http://www.nzherald.co.nz/rugby/news/article.cfm?c_id=80&objectid=11715681

 

[Dismal Pillock]

wishlist for Blues terrifying new halfback/1st 5 combo.....