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cyclopath

George Smith (75)
Staff member
Right you are then. Am about to go offline to repair to the lotus position and begin the mumbled karmic chant of Indescribable Wordage in readiness for the Holy Gospel According to Mccaw, will be back here 3 hours from now to run around naked all up and down your silly little internet space, get ready for an avatar featuring Colin Meads in jet-black speedos.
Over here, they'd be known as jit-black duck-stuckers.
 

Dismal Pillock

Simon Poidevin (60)
PM dispatched to Cyclopath, my entire 33-strong screenshotter staff are now on stand-by...

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Dismal Pillock

Simon Poidevin (60)
Auckland Blues vs NSFW Warratahs Mar 28 2015, I feel the planets are starting to align today for a Paremoremo jailbreak, yes, a blitzkrieging backline facial all up and down the NSFW arse region.
Piutau moved back to fullback, the AB's biffed in as a last resort, Moala with his pants on, oh yes, who among you will DARE to wager not only your avatar but also your signature space AND your daft little team iconography up in the corner there? WHO?
 
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Dismal Pillock

Simon Poidevin (60)
Today's wager: the Blues to tip over the Highlanders.

If you win: whatever. Do your worst. This one's a lock for the Blues. Only a madman would take this one on.

If I win: In every post you make for the following week, you MUST shoehorn in a compliment of Blues legend Isaia Toeava somewhere into the post. I will be checking.

In every post you make for the following week, you also must use the word "totes" somewhere in the post. I'm not sure what "totes" means exactly as I'm not a 13 year old girl (I'm 15 years old with no fixed gender), I guess it means "totally", as in "I totes understand, hon." Obviously, you do not want to lose this bet. But you will.
 

Dismal Pillock

Simon Poidevin (60)
The Virtues of James O'Connor

--by James O'Connor.

Hello.

James O'Connor here.

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James O'Connor is many things to many people.

Here is a complete list, in bullet-point format, of the many things that James O'Connor is to many people.

In summary, here is a list of the virtues of James O'Connor:
  • proud
  • humble
  • virtuous
  • Australian
  • has own teeth
  • is tall
  • is handsome
  • is industrious
  • can kick off either foot
  • can play rugby
  • once went to Woolongong

The rumours you may have heard are true; James O'Connor did once travel to Auckland, New Zealand.

As an infant.

James O'Connor's childhood in NZ was not easy.

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James O'Connor has fully recovered from these horrific experiences in this terrible, terrible country and in fact uses the experiences to make himself a stronger person.

James O'Connor gets on very well with all of his rugby coaches these days, especially the Queensland Reds coach Mr Richard Graham, a coach with whom he shares a very special bond:

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James O'Connor is very close to Coach Graham.

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In closing, here is yet another list detailing the further virtues of James O'Connor:
  • has own brand.
  • has kissed a girl.
  • has own teeth.
  • has ridden a bicycle.
  • once read a book.
  • once went to France.
  • once went to Woolongong.
  • likes black people.
  • likes asian people.
  • likes most chinamen
  • likes Coach Graham.
  • has been to Coach Graham's house.
  • has left Coach Graham's house numerous times.


Thank you for reading all the way to the end of James O'Connor's essay entitled "The Virtues of James O'Connor".


Regards,

--James.

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Sully

Tim Horan (67)
Staff member
Do you guys think he sounded genuine? Man of the match winner James O'Connor deserves more than repeated sentences
 

Dismal Pillock

Simon Poidevin (60)
I don't buy it, what if Dismal actually is JOC (James O'Connor) and just wants us to think he was pretending to be JOC (James O'Connor)?
Man, even I am getting confused now. I think this may be the residual effects of a very, very heavy head knock I suffered back in my early childhood in N.Z.

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