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Auckland Blues To Infinity and Beyond

Discussion in 'Rugby Discussion' started by cyclopath, Feb 17, 2014.

  1. Brumby Runner Rod McCall (65)

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    Surprised that BB didn't make it into the leadership group.
  2. KiwiM Watty Friend (18)

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    He's not with the team until April, he's on an extended break.
    ruggy, Dan54 and Brumby Runner like this.
  3. KiwiM Watty Friend (18)

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    Yeah he didn't have a great 2019. Injured and when he did play his form wasn't the best he has shown. Good player but hasn't really kicked on from his early promise a few years ago. Big season for him.

    Blues look a bit light at 7 given how often Gibson and Papalii get injured.
    Dan54 likes this.
  4. Dismal Pillock John Hipwell (52)

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    This dick. What, has he turned up in his Irish jersey so he can laugh at the Blues too.
  5. KiwiM Watty Friend (18)

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    Hopefully he has. They fucking need it.

    "This is what it takes to win a title you underachieving clowns"
  6. zer0 Alan Cameron (40)

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    Saw Leon MacDonald pesting around the fancy new KFC in Newmarket this afternoon. Assume he's out there doing his preseason job of scoping out his comfort food place for the forthcoming season for when Barrett goes full Tasesa McAlister and tries a chip kick from his own in-goal because when in f*cking Rome.
    Braveheart81, Dan54, ruggy and 2 others like this.
  7. Dismal Pillock John Hipwell (52)

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    [IMG]
    "Look honey, there's Beauden Barrett the All Black. Now
    let's watch how a real pro clears from inside his own in-goa
    "Aahhh nooo..."
    TSR, zer0, Dan54 and 1 other person like this.
  8. Dismal Pillock John Hipwell (52)

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    Thread Tags:

    #MacDonalds #KFC #comfort food #Tasesa #McAlister #chip kick #own in-goal

    [IMG]
    zer0, Dan54 and cyclopath like this.
  9. Dan54 Paul McLean (56)

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    he was probably there looking for Akira to tell him it time to start preseason training. Mind you he might of been in wrong spot Akira may of moved on to McDonalds by now.
    Dismal Pillock and Jimmy_Crouch like this.
  10. Dismal Pillock John Hipwell (52)

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    KFC and Mcdonalds?

    At the Blues they call that a "balanced diet".
    yourmatesam, Silverado and Dan54 like this.
  11. MarkJ Tom Lawton (22)

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  12. Dismal Pillock John Hipwell (52)

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    [IMG]
    "Greetings, my red and black children of doctrined assemblage. It is I, Razor, with glad tidings of the Round 3 matchup between our cherished Crusaders and the birdbrained sharters we know as the Auckland Blues.

    "Order has been restored in the red and black universe, praise be to the new twin-cock emblem for The Valentine's Day Massacre is now complete. As expected, the marsipan dolts of the north offered little resistance. We the Brave Crusading Men kindly and benevolently shared possession of the rugby football with the mental midgets completely safe in the knowledge that their attack resembles little more than a tonka toy made of half-chewed up bits of old lego. We barely had to do anything at all. Just defend as the brainless mooks ran into our defenders and fell down time and time again.

    "Now, let us run through the names of the Blues players from today, so abject, so dim, so lost. Feel free to titter and giggle in a derisive yet coquettish manner as I run through the names of these forlorn individuals one by one.

    "Gibson. An NPC plodder. Invisible and backwards and in Bristol by Christmas. Ruru. He has 2 gears. 1st and 2nd. There is no 3rd. Perofeta. He kicks like Aaron Cruden if Cruden were still 12 years old. Plummer. Another NPC-level donkey with a stupid grammar boy haircut. He will be in France by Round 10. Hyland. A photocopy of a winger after you've run off 8 billion printouts of your bumcruck. Duffie. A slow, lost, anorexic wimp who will be playing in Japan by October. Tuipulotu. He is to leaders what boogers are to cancer. That being, utterly unproven and unrelated. The Blues lineout. 8 people cut adrift in space taking it in turns to get boofed up the arse by the ghost of Stephen Hawking.

    "In closing, let us cradle today's rampage of right over wrong to our collective bosoms, and long into the night, and awaken with nice wee morning stiffies now that all is right and just with the world, amen, peace be the vag, etc, etc."
    yourmatesam, Up the Guts and zer0 like this.
  13. Dismal Pillock John Hipwell (52)

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    [IMG]

    "Greetings upon this solemn and sombre morning for it is I, Razor, with terrible, terrible tidings involving an overnight rugby football result from the Republic involving the dishevelled Northern children of abject laxity, yes, the foolish and irretrievably stupid Auckland Blues.

    "Now brace yourselves, my children of unwavering turpitude, for the Auckland Blues, well... they appear to have been announced as winners of a rugby football match played overnight at Loftus Park SILENCE, hush your weeping, and fear not beloved brethren, for I fully expect this result to be overturned once I place a call to Commissioner Egon. It is no secret that discipline has lapsed in our storied African sister state since their groundbreaking and now unfairly-maligned social segregation policy was sadly shelved. All Hail The New Dawn, Losse Bleus to be stripped of competition points on a countback, Praise be The Duelling Dicks, etc, etc, ok, disperse now you shitheads."
    Boof1050 and zer0 like this.
  14. Dismal Pillock John Hipwell (52)

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    Retired Rugby Referee Reports "Very, Very Strange" Phone Call.

    --Pretoria Times--

    Retired South African rugby referee Egon Seconds has placed a "very, very strange" telephone call he received overnight on report with SARU.

    [IMG]


    The reported transcript of the call reads as follows:

  15. Dismal Pillock John Hipwell (52)

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    waiopehu oldboy likes this.
  16. Teh Other Dave Trevor Allan (34)

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    Is it strange that I remember that particular speech from Blackadder? I think I was surprised that the red and blacks won the whole thing after such a shit showing in the previous two seasons.
  17. Dismal Pillock John Hipwell (52)

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    Poor Akira. Completely dropped from the tour squad to tour South Africa and left behind in Auckland, unsupervised, for 3 weeks.

    Although his new Life Coach seems nice...

    [IMG]
    Silverado likes this.
  18. Teh Other Dave Trevor Allan (34)

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    The colonel gif took its sweet time to load. In the meantime, I thought his life coach rhymed with Pismal Dillock
  19. waiopehu oldboy Tim Horan (67)

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  20. Dismal Pillock John Hipwell (52)

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    Unnamed Ex-Auckland Blues Assistant Accepts 2020 Super Rugby Trophy.

    -NZ Herald--

    [IMG]

    "Yes, look, it's just a logistical league ladder issue isn't it? It's hardly my place to argue with the final Super Rugby standings as they appear to us right now is it? Nothing I can do about that. Now, obviously the result in the Crusaders match later today has no bearing on the final standings as it kicked off AFTER the announcement of the New Zealand quarantine measures. Don't be silly, that's just common sense. You can't count match results that were played under the influence of potentially lethal viral pathogens. That's just science 101 and a basic Super Rugby table precautionary safety measure. We can't go around willy nilly compromising the integrity of the Super Rugby table can we?

    "Therefore, if I'm not mistaken, we would like to extend our thanks to this years participants in the Super Rugby competition. You all had a part to play and best of luck to you for next season and thank you for your participation in the victorious Auckland Blues 2020 Super Rugby campaign."

    [IMG]
    KiwiM, zer0 and RedsHappy like this.

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