Swine Flu

[Dismal Pillock]

Google Infomercial:

WE ARE THE GUNSTON SS CORONAVIRUS UNIT 731 CLEAN-UP CREW.

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Gidday valued passengers. ​

When the Unit 731 boys recently commandeering your SS Coronavirus cruise ship in Yokohama Bay https://spraguedawley.com/japanese-wartime-unit-731-doctors-commandeer-virus-stricken-cruise-ship/ they needed someone to clean up the mess of distended limbs and howling experimental fuckups and that’s when they called in the best name in the clean-up business: GUNSTON.

So, if you’re on the ship and reading this then bust out those wallets and purses you stingy old rich wankers and get fucken shopping! Your life could depend upon it!

BUY OUR SHIT!

Dead? Alive? Give the simpering sook a poke with this pronged thingie and find out.

50 bucks. O.N.O.

Decontamination Unit and adjacent paddling pool.

10 bucks.

Portable DJ rig. For entertaining dying passengers. The loud music also serves to help drown out the last breathless cries for help from really completely fucked-up passengers.

Free. (it sounds like shit.)

Want to cop a feel of some half-dead old biddy? Slip on this Doc’s robe and you’ve got the perfect alibi.

10 bucks. Ya pervy bastard.

Alleviate the misery of the surrounding death and despair by having a huff on this laughing gaHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA

50,000 bucks. O.N.OHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA

“Penetration team?” You’d be a rude pervy fucker!

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[Dismal Pillock]

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Even wheezing dying fuckers like a letter from the postie.​

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5 bucks a letter.​

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Emergency beer silo. Half-dead? Get on the piss!​

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$8,000.​

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Relieve the tension aboard your shrieking ship of death by donning this comically stupid party costume! Bloody hilarious! Life of the party!​

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Dead bastad? Bag it and tag it, Danno.​

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Charge it to the cadaver’s card! Hahaha​

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Has the old fucker in your cabin gone and carked it? Give him the send-off he deserves! ​

Enough space in there for 1 dead prick to stretch his legs out all cosy-like.​

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If the bloke’s just in bits after the Unit 731 boys had a burl this unit will hold up to 130 kg of assorted loose limbs. ​

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10 bucks.​

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3 dead pricks.​

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3 for 1, ten bucks.​

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Perfect alibi to pickpocket half-dead bastards.​

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Are those last dying screams really getting on your tits? This will shut her up!​

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200 bucks.​

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Tripping over limbs? Chuck em’ in here!​

(doubles as budget-price beer silo)​

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2 bucks.​

Or, special deal, 5 for 10,000 bucks.​

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Righto, that’s all the shit we’ve got at the moment, we’ll see you soon! Fuck the rest, buy the best, GO GUNSTON!​

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[Tex]

What's the verdict? I reckon we just prepare for full blown zombie panic mode, stock up on rice and bladed weapons. Real four horsemen of the apocalypse type situation.

Unless dr cyclo suggests otherwise

 

[cyclopath]

What's the verdict? I reckon we just prepare for full blown zombie panic mode, stock up on rice and bladed weapons. Real four horsemen of the apocalypse type situation.

Unless dr cyclo suggests otherwise

Look, I would comment if it was Wangovirus.........
All I will say is that I have easy access to free surgical masks.

 

[Dismal Pillock]

Look, I would comment if it was Wangovirus...

All I will say is that I have easy access to free surgical masks.

My keyword takeaway from this post is that I now have to wear surgical masks over my dick.

Cyclo, you got any spare child-sized masks over there?

ASKING FOR A FRIEND.

 

[Tex]

Wangovirus engorgii

Sounds like a potentially good time

 

[cyclopath]

My keyword takeaway from this post is that I now have to wear surgical masks over my dick.

Cyclo, you got any spare child-sized masks over there?

ASKING FOR A FRIEND.

I suggest one of these.

 

[cyclopath]

Wangovirus engorgii

Sounds like a potentially good time

Until it gets sent to Christmas Island.........

 

[Dismal Pillock]

I suggest one of these.

View attachment 11305

ha, Larry Blackmon? as luck would have it I actually have this record by Cameo right here.

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Fittingly, a 7 inch record.

 

[cyclopath]

ha, Larry Blackmon? as luck would have it I actually have this record by Cameo right here.

Fittingly, a 7 inch record.

I never doubted it. Lucky you having the extended edition.

 

[Dismal Pillock]

haha, CNN reporter incredulous at having just watched released passengers get off ship of death and walk over and get straight into taxis and local buses. These twats couldve been infected yesterday. How'd you like to be on the bus and see some drongo walk off the ship and straight onto your fucken bus. "OH, IT'S OK, MY 14 DAYS ARE FINISHED AND PLUS I AM WEARING THIS MASK, SEE?"

 

[Tex]

"Definitely shoulda dialed it in and gone to the boozer"

 

[Dismal Pillock]

released passengers get off ship of death and walk over and get straight into taxis and local buses.

reckon thats all it took. cat'll be out of the bag now. I brilliantly predict that Japan's current 50-odd cases will have exploded to 5,000+ within a fortnight. In Executive Summary, I WELCOME DEATH.

 

[Tex]

On the positive side, when we're all forced into lock-down isolation in our homes, GAGR posting numbers should start rebounding after a few lean years!

 

[Dismal Pillock]

National Lollipop Day No Picnic For One Local Man.​

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–Wuhan Times–​

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Here, during Wuhan’s annual National Lollipop Day, a local man has been forced into eating a raspberry-flavoured lollipop despite raspberry being a lollipop flavour he despises.​

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“It’s National Lollipop Day you big dumbarse, just eat the fucking lollipop.”​

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“That fussy wanker” said a National Lollipop Day spokesman. “We’re snowed under here with this fucken death virus quarantine bullshit and yet we’re kindly and benevolently still going ahead with National Lollipop Day and hello, this spoiled fuckwit is holding out for a tangerine peach-flavoured lollipop or some bullshit? Raspberry’s good enough, you precious dickhead. Lollipops don’t grow on trees you know, Little Emperor, so just be thankful for what you get. Fucken spoiled wanker.”​

 

[Tex]

^^^

Me after a night on the turps

 

[Dctarget]

NBA is postponed - that's nuts. NCAA is being played without fans. Olympics under threat.

I don't care if I'm quarantined, just don't take away my sport.

 

[Tex]

Meanwhile the big-brain Victorian Government continues with the formula one on a massive public subsidy, importing teams and fans from around the world into a tiny little viral sharing melting pot at Albert Park.

Crazy times.

 

[Braveheart81]

NCAA is being played without fans.

Not anymore. It has now been canned.

Everything is going to get cancelled. This is going to be a crazy year.

 

[Tex]

I read that Porn Hub is offering free premium memberships to anyone in Italy. Going to be a long couple months!