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Worst Commentator Pole Action

Discussion in 'Rugby Matches' started by Dismal Pillock, Mar 23, 2014.

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Worst Commentator?

Phil Kearns 59 vote(s) 43.1%
All of the above 11 vote(s) 8.0%
Tony Johnstone 8 vote(s) 5.8%
Grant Nesbit 7 vote(s) 5.1%
Keith Quinn 4 vote(s) 2.9%
Greg Martin 59 vote(s) 43.1%
Justin Marshall 7 vote(s) 5.1%
Shiggins 12 vote(s) 8.8%
Murray Mexted 11 vote(s) 8.0%
the bokke guy who sounds a bit posh 11 vote(s) 8.0%
Multiple votes are allowed.
  1. Quick Hands David Wilson (68)

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    Vision not needed to know the location of his other hand.
    Dismal Pillock likes this.
  2. Dismal Pillock John Hipwell (52)

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    re: the pole I am still amazed that Justin Marshite still only has a paltry 7 votes.

    if this poll was done in nZ I'm guessing it would be more
    • Justin Marshall
    • Phil Kearns
    • Greg Martin
    • Tony Johnstone (all Blues fans despise this patronising pro-cantab fluffybunny)
    -----------------------------------------------

    and then in the "single digit percentages, basically ok but does get on some people's tits" file...
    • the aussie play-by-play guy that reads out reams and reams of stats ffs I don't even know his name and yet I've heard him call about a thousand bloody games
    • Murray Mexted
    • Sumo
    • Ken Laban
    • Keith Quinn
    • Grant Nesbit
  3. Dismal Pillock John Hipwell (52)

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    actually there's loads more comms that shouldve gone up the pole
    • Joel "seems fair and unbiased right up until the saffer team starts copping it then we get his true colours straight up the fucken mast" Stransky
    • George "Diazepam" Gregan.
    • Jeff "oh shit, speaking of George Gregan" Wilson
    • Rod "started ok but has become increasingly butthurt and tetchy but fuckit at least he calls out shithead Kearns on his rubbish" Kafer
    • Stephen "see Joel Stransky" Hoiles
    • Bobby "dropped innumerable times on his head as an infant" Skinstadt
    jimmydubs likes this.
  4. waiopehu oldboy Tim Horan (67)

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    'A Justin Marshall of Wakatipu in Queenstown has trademarked three famous phrases used by the ex-All Black and rugby commentator of the same name.

    'The New Zealand Intellectual Property Office (Iponz) records show that "Boomfa", "Yes Boy" and "Me oh My" have been accepted as trademarked. Two other phrases, "How Good" and "Give it Everything" are listed as being under examination.'

    I'm guessing you can't trademark a single word e.g. Synergy?

    Just to prove I'm not making it up:

    https://i.stuff.co.nz/business/1119...rite-commentary-phrases-have-been-trademarked
    RebelYell likes this.
  5. Quick Hands David Wilson (68)

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    I wonder what happens if another commentator accidentally lets out a 'boomfa' or 'me oh my' under pressure. Does Justin get royalties? The mind boggles at the intellectual thought needed to come up with these phrases.

    What's the consensus? I reckon he should be entitled to .000001 cents (NZ) for every usage of said trademarked phrases.
    Dismal Pillock likes this.
  6. Quick Hands David Wilson (68)

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    How doesn't Greg "that was a techinical infringment because it was the Reds" Martin not get into the top 10. Surely his work over many years deserves some recognition.
  7. Dismal Pillock John Hipwell (52)

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    he7s currently the leading vote getter in the whole fucken pole, bung eye!
  8. Quick Hands David Wilson (68)

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    Missed him down in the middle of the list.:eek:

    Although Kearnsy still on top when the 7.8% all of the above is added to his individual score.:)
    Dismal Pillock likes this.
  9. Jimmy_Crouch Phil Hardcastle (33)

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    Surely Karl Te Nana gets a start in this contest.

    Kearns is junk but at least he is what he is and that is a former wallaby/waratah captain. He knows he is biased and so do the viewers.

    TJ is a patronising twat. His favourtite line for non kiwi teams "well they can feel a little hard done by there" just after calling it completely different, seeing the replay and knowing the kiwi team got away with something.
    Dismal Pillock likes this.
  10. Dismal Pillock John Hipwell (52)

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    Try being from Auckland when he's calling all your games. The sneering disdain. The palpable disgust.
    Jimmy_Crouch likes this.
  11. Dismal Pillock John Hipwell (52)

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    Apparently he did it as he's coming out with his own brand of beer? I wonder if he hasn't dumbly WILDLY overestimated his own popularity? "Oh me oh my they all love my hi-energy colour commentary and trademark phrases such as 'Yes Boy', which no one has ever said before and to which I now have intellectktual rights to. I must be one of the most beloved people in all of New Zealand, this beer will fly off the shelves!"

    Meanwhile everyone who's ever listened to him wreck a game of rugby by shrieking his nuts off and getting it 180 degrees of wrong 180% of the time will see the beer on the shelf and think "well fuck me, I don't care if it tastes like angelic nectar from the bosomed butt of fucken Abraham, I am buying ANY beer EXCEPT for that fucken one."

    3 months later, "Boomfah Beer" quietly disappears from shelves nationwide.
    RebelYell likes this.
  12. Silverado Trevor Allan (34)

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    I'd have a few Synergies on name alone
  13. Dismal Pillock John Hipwell (52)

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    Tonight was first time I've ever thought "Nisbo might've done his dash here."

    He was clearly bored out of his mind in the Canes vs Jags match. And it was infectious. He made the whole thing seem like some sort of contractual viewing obligation. Contrast that with Sean Maloney in the Rebs match that followed, he was enthused and right into it.
  14. Quick Hands David Wilson (68)

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    Sounds like even the commentators have become bored with Super rugby.

    What next, Tony Johnstone falling asleep during a Crusaders victory?
  15. cyclopath Phil Waugh (73)

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    As mentioned by Juan Cote on Twitter, the delicious irony of TJ and Justin Marshall bemoaning the booing of Quade Cooper last night (which I though was pretty tired and found me some munted Kiwi trolls on Twitter for my trouble - that was fun) was superb, given they formed part of the TV lynch mob 8 years ago.
    Dismal Pillock likes this.
  16. Dismal Pillock John Hipwell (52)

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    It's as if he's brand new to the English language.

    "Heyyy, I could make some money off this English thing. Let me just consult my 3-neuron deadshit brain and see if I can come up with some more trademarkable pairings. Let's see, "wow", has that one been taken? How about "that was great"? What if I combine them into "wow, that was great"? Man, I could get so rich off this English thing. Why hasn't anyone thought of this before now?"
  17. Dismal Pillock John Hipwell (52)

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    who the HELL is the kiwi tosser doing colour comms in the France vs Scotland game? He has literally talked nonstop about everything EXCEPT the action unfolding on the field. He just doesnt seem to give a flying fuck about the match being played right in front of him. His first name is either Simon or Robbie. Just fuck him off. Incredibly annoying
    KiwiM likes this.
  18. KiwiM Watty Friend (18)

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    Without having heard the commentary for that game I reckon it's almost certainly Simon Mannix.

    The term punchable face gets thrown around but I reckon he has a punchable voice - he comes across as a total knob - he's like some sort of Kiwi rugby version of Mark Nicholas the twat English cricket commentator. Just says a whole bunch of shit without adding anything of value.
    Dismal Pillock and Up the Guts like this.
  19. Dismal Pillock John Hipwell (52)

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    Is that a normal style for NH comms? It was like he was yakking away to himself in his own living room while we were trying to watch the game.

    "...France need some fast players. Like Ben Smith, Beauden Barrett, Christian Cullen..."<goes on to list every single All Black throughout the history of rugby who has ever been fast>)

    I had to change channels just to get away from the cock.
    KiwiM likes this.
  20. Dan54 Paul McLean (56)

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    No I not sure who it was, and I only caught the 20 minutes, but wasn't Mannix, well not when I was listening, know his voice. You could hear it on sidelines when he was coaching at Racing Metro, as he was one of these coaches who constantly from the sidelines. They do tend to use any Kiwi or Aus players that are available on any given weekend over there, and don't forget they not going to pay much, the main commentators will be doing it in French!! I would hate to hear what the NZ/Aus commentators doing the French version sound like!!:rolleyes:

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