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Inside the Green and Gold Rugby Network

Discussion in 'Everything Else' started by Dismal Pillock, Mar 26, 2014.

  1. Dismal Pillock Peter Sullivan (51)

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    How To Build A Porn Loft. At Night.


    Have you ever wanted to build a Porn Loft at night?

    Here's how:

    Step 1. Attend a helpful seminar that will enable you to get in touch with your inner c**t at night:

    "So, according to this, I am now a c**t at night?"
    "That is correct."

    Step 2. WAIT until your wife is at work. At her night job:


    Step 3. Stop stuffing around with records and internet porn for long enough to draw up the Porn Loft plan, you pedo nutjob.

    You. At night.

    Step 4. Sign off with Momoka for the night.

    "Goodnight Momoka."

    Step 5. Get to work.


    Step 6. Upon completing the Porn Loft plan, be sure to draw up an auxiliary plan centred on rewarding yourself with a tasty night-time snack.


    Step 7. Enter Porn Loft.

    cyclopath, Dctarget, Pfitzy and 2 others like this.
  2. Gagger Nick Farr-Jones (63)

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    Sweet Jesus
    mst, yourmatesam, cyclopath and 3 others like this.
  3. saulityvi Syd Malcolm (24)

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    I want to like that, but I fear I will get on to a government watchlist doing so.
    yourmatesam and Dismal Pillock like this.
  4. Dismal Pillock Peter Sullivan (51)

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    Interesting you mention that, I kind of dont want to mention the source of some of those pics for fear of getting this site some unwanted "attention". Would elaborate via PM though.

    Bloody shocker though.

    Well, on the bright side, at least it's out of my head.
    yourmatesam and saulityvi like this.
  5. cyclopath Phil Waugh (73)

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    I can't say I wasn't warned.......
    I think I preferred it when it was in your head. :D
    Dismal Pillock likes this.
  6. Dismal Pillock Peter Sullivan (51)

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    Wayne Gunston's Guide to Gender Roles.

    Gidday, poofs. Wayne Gunston here.

    "Fucken beaut."

    It has come to my attention that some of you softcocks are a bit confused over your poof tackle gender definition roles.

    Well, I am here to help you clean up your cock and/or gash-based confusion with some helpful gender definitions.

    First though, some bad news for my brother Gene; the term "poof" is no longer a socially acceptable gender definition. Therefore, if you see my brother Gene-o down the pub you just have to call him a wanker instead. This is what he looks like, don't worry, he's so fucken ugly you can't miss him.

    "Get fucked Wayne you f

    Pipe down, time for the definitions.

    Agender: failed at both genders so packing a sook and sitting on the fence.
    Androgyne: obviously, a chick gynecologist with a short haircut. You already knew that one.
    Androgynous: blokey chick, chicky bloke, too easy.
    Bigender: chick with a big arse.
    Cis: misprint.
    Cisgender: Mexican tranny.
    Cis Female: is it just me or are ALL the chicks on that CSI tv show spunks?
    Cis Male: I don't notice the blokes on CSI so much.
    Cis Man: oh shit, think I may have completely stuffed this whole fucken thing up already.
    Cis Woman: she was probably the killer. Sometimes the butler, sometimes the woman. Reckon I?ve seen this episode. Change channels, Trev.
    Cisgender Female: Mexican chick who keeps telling everyone that she is a chick.
    Cisgender Male: Mexican bloke who is fairly certain that he is a bloke.
    Cisgender Man: say it with a comma between the two words at parties.
    Cisgender Woman: a woman sympathetic to the plight of the Mexican people. She also has a dick.
    Female to Male: basic Cock Attachment 101. You knew this one.
    FTM: fat tranny mum.
    Gender Fluid: see "agender" but packing an even bigger sook
    Gender Nonconforming: spewing about own dick forward slash gash.
    Gender Questioning: last bloke picked at lunchtime footy.
    Gender Variant: depends how warm it is outside (stockings day or not).
    Genderqueer: would have to be my Aunty Doris. She's my queen.
    "Just bring the sherry flaggon over you fu

    Intersex: 120 kg webcam tranny. Good work if you can get it.
    Male to Female: basic Cock Annihilation 101. Pass the sherry, I'll do it myself.
    MTF: "Mother fuckin Teresa, what is that?"
    Neither: Neither? Neither what? Neither of the two sexes? There's 58 now. Try to keep up.
    Neutrois: neurotic French chick.
    Non-binary: chick who used to work in a library.
    Other: Really? "Other?" You can?t pick ONE of the fuckin 58? PISS OFF.
    Pangender: fuck knows. Probably Gene-o.
    "Wayne you fuckin smelly cu

    Trans: not Neil Young's best lp but still pretty fuckin handy.
    Trans*: asterisk denotes bonus track.
    Trans Female: bloke who wants to be a chick so he hacked his own dick off.
    Trans* Female: asterisk denotes hacking still in progress. Almost there. Blood everywhere but you can't fuckin stop now.
    Trans Male: obviously, a bloke who bought the Trans LP.
    Trans* Male: bloke who bought the Trans LP but didn't know there would be a bonus track.
    Trans Man: bloke who swears black and blue that Neil Young's Trans lp is better than the "Reactor" lp from 1981.
    Trans* Man: bloke who didn't like the bonus track on Trans that much.
    Trans Person: just a person who enjoys the Trans lp. Doesn't have to be a bloke or a chick, nothing to get so hung up about for fucks sake
    Trans* Person: person who has been meaning to buy the Trans LP but just hasn't got around to it yet. (It came out in 1982.)
    Trans Woman: chick who likes the Trans LP. Jesus, this stuff is just self-explanatory.
    Trans* Woman: "Rust Never Sleeps". another good record.
    Transfeminine: tranny who wears undies.
    Transgender: trying on women's togs but still has a great big huge fuckin cock. And a beard.
    Transgender Female: all the above but now walks down to the shops in a wedding dress.
    Transgender Male: bloke who puts on a silly voice.
    Transgender Man: bloke who puts on a silly voice but still reckons Neil Young is OK.
    Transgender Person: fuck knows, my head's spinning at this stage.
    Transgender Woman: chick who wants to get into the movies cheaper.
    Transmasculine: Probably my brother Trevor. He thinks he's pretty masculine when he's transporting himself around town in his stupid fucken ute.
    "Fucken Wayne you fat cu

    Transsexual: the original. www.grannytranny.org. Bookmark!
    Transsexual Female: a spunk in Thailand. Everywhere else, bloke in a wedding dress.
    Transsexual Male: Simple. Bloke in a dress.
    Transsexual Man: what? fuck, thought I had the hang of this?
    Transsexual Person: tackle lopped off on the cheap but the surgeon fucked it up and now no one knows if bloke or Sheila.
    Transsexual Woman: bit of a spunk. Unless Doc Botha did the oppo. (http://ostsplasticsurgery.wix.com/seacruise)
    Two-Spirit: ghost with two cocks.

    Well, that covers it. Glad to help clear up your raging poof identity crisis.

    --Wayne Gunston.

    cyclopath, saulityvi and yourmatesam like this.
  7. Lindommer Andrew Slack (58)

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    One of yer best, DP. ;)
    yourmatesam likes this.
  8. waiopehu oldboy Tim Horan (67)

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    Lacking in Neil Young references IMO :)
  9. 21mmstuds Stan Wickham (3)

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    just found his thread.brilliant, had to go back to page one, and go through it all!!! now I'm late for my fucking funeral.
    yourmatesam likes this.
  10. Dismal Pillock Peter Sullivan (51)

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    21 millimetres is not that big to be a stud.
  11. Dismal Pillock Peter Sullivan (51)

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    Four New Inductees Into Mccaw’s Secret Church.

    --NZ Herald--

    The RT Hon Richard Mccaw (NZ) has today inducted four new members into his private underground Church of The Hidden Gate, an underground lair from where it is believed he has controlled world rugby for the last 10 or so years.

    The lair is reputed to be situated beneath Mccaw’s modest private dwelling which is located in the city centre of Christchurch, New Zealand.

    No doors, no gate, and certainly no hindmost feet.

    However, sadly, as tradition of the cloaked guild dictates, one of the four new inductees will need be sacrificed over an open fire to appease the New Zealand Rugby Gods.

    The 4 new inductees, one of whom will be baked, incinerated, baked some more, set on fire, and then burnt to shit.

    Sources say that prior to this year’s sacrifice Mccaw, on a whim, is now very keen to officially have the colour of fire changed from yellow to red. These sources believe that in fact Mccaw can be seen in the photograph below, at his lair’s desk, penning a letter to Satan himself with that very topic at the forefront of discussions.

    “Look, red is for the Crusaders, and also for the British and Irish lions, and also for blood. So you can see where I’m going with this…”
    Gagger, yourmatesam and cyclopath like this.
  12. cyclopath Phil Waugh (73)

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    Lord Ted looks like Shag is doing something uncomfortable to him with his left arm in that photo above.
    Dismal Pillock likes this.
  13. Teh Other Dave Bill McLean (32)

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    Ricardo Macaw, seen below. images (19).jpg
  14. cyclopath Phil Waugh (73)

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    Looks like he's been having a serious crack at his owner.
  15. Teh Other Dave Bill McLean (32)

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    I'm not sure which is the owner and which is the pet.
    cyclopath likes this.
  16. Dismal Pillock Peter Sullivan (51)

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    "Gidday cock, you see my fucken drive come thru here?"
    "Yeah, the fucker was coming through hot as hades, think it exploded on impact somewhere up there."
    "Fuck me."


    "What driver you using there mate?"
    "NASA Gunstonite Gilmore Excalibur Mach 7."
    "Bugger me."


    "Fucken missed, FUCK! Stupid Nike clubs. Need that new Gunstonite shit."
    yourmatesam and cyclopath like this.
  17. Dismal Pillock Peter Sullivan (51)

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  18. cyclopath Phil Waugh (73)

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    The new CYCLOHEALTH brand (TGA Approved Terminology below) is ready to launch with a range of products aimed at long-term residents of the foriii, who may be depleted or otherwise below their secretory best after long hours trying to post a fucken GIF of even a crude photoshopped meme.
    I make many bold claims, but no actual promises.
    Positive effects include:-

    • "Balance aggravated vata"
    • "Tonify kidney essence"
    • "Enrich kidney jing"
    • "Regulate chong channels"
    • "Engender fluid”
    • "Replenish gate of vitality"
    • “Disinhibit water”
    • “Soften hardness”
    • “Open body orifices”
    • “Extinguish damp-cold”
    • “Expel stagnant heat”
    • "Moisten Dryness in the Triple Burner"
  19. Dismal Pillock Peter Sullivan (51)

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    This must be what it's like to actually read one of my posts. So much confusion. So many questions. The hell is "TGA"? Suspect it might be The Gunston Association. very helpful post to quote and pore over under the hood to give myself a crash course in html. Colourful letters, enlarged fonts, the whole nine yards in there. Plus the "p" between the two <> looks very handy. And the "b" <>. ps, re the CYCLOHEALTH product, those blue letter bits kind of lead me to believe I have to pound this thing up my arse? If so, I'll take 3 please.
    cyclopath likes this.
  20. cyclopath Phil Waugh (73)

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    TGA = Therapeutic Goods Administration who approve drugs etc. These are terms they have approved for "natural remedies". As for the formatting, it looks normal to me but I am on Beginner Moran Settings and think code is something that Marines talk about. You may take these by any comfortable route.
    Dismal Pillock likes this.

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